Until Next Time
by strikeachord
Summary: Kurt finds a strange journal belonging to the intellectual, mysterious BDA, and decides to leave a message for him. AU *rated T just for chapter 7, K for basically everything else* Now on Scarves & Coffee!
1. Chapter 1

It had been a very long day for Kurt at McKinley High School, pretty much like any other day. He got a slushie to the face (again, that was the third time that week), ruining his new outfit that he had just gotten that weekend. It had only been second period-and how the football players got slushies at 8:45 in the morning, Kurt had no idea-so Kurt had to proudly wear the red stains on his white sweater for the rest of the day like a girl with period stains. Just a typical day in the life of Kurt Hummel.

The bullying had really started to get to Kurt. Luckily, though, he finally found a place to hide in, a place where he could do whatever he wanted in seclusion, to not be bothered by anyone or anything: the public library. Books had recently become Kurt's best friend. Yes, he liked reading before, but because of recent events he needed them more than ever. He was able to escape through time and space; he could visit so many places yet remain in the same chair for hours, and return to the mundane world, calling his dad for a pickup. He could be anyone and anything, leaving Kurt Hummel behind. He laughed, he cried, he felt empty inside when he finished a good book. But despite everything, Kurt much preferred staying curled up in his chair in his little corner, secluded in the back of the room with earbuds in and his nose in a book, than in reality at McKinley.

It was a rainy Wednesday, about two weeks after Kurt started his daily routine of going to the library. Thankfully, it was within a mile of the school, so he walked swiftly through the backroads with his black umbrella up, hoping that no one would notice him. The mission was a success: he made it to the library in good time. All of this walking was getting him into better shape. Kurt rushed up the stairs like a kid running into a candy store, excited to delve into a new epic or saga or whatever caught his eyes.

It was a considerably large library with a large Adult and Children's section. Kurt did not go to those: there was a miniscule Teens section hidden away in the back. That was because no one ever went there, _ever_. Just Kurt, and every so often the ancient, evil head librarian Mrs. Devon peeked in and gave Kurt the death stare for her short check up. Aside from that, it remained empty.

The day before, he had finished _The Host_ by Stephenie Meyer. It was a random read, considering that he had a special place of burning ignominy for _Twilight_ in his heart. He didn't want to read something modern that day, he wanted a classic. He quickly found _The Scarlet Letter_, a book that he'd heard of but never got around to reading. Kurt grabbed the book from the shelf; with it an unmarked book fell to the ground. Filled with curiosity, he picked it up and brought the two books to his corner.

He sat down in his chair, examining the book, the inside thick with at least two hundred pages of paper. It seemed pretty new, or very well kept. Kurt ran his fingers over the material of the midnight blue cover; it was not labeled. No title, no author, no reviews on the back. Kurt opened the book.

_The Book Project_, someone had written in beautiful calligraphy on the first page.

_Oh, it's a journal of some sort, or a diary_, Kurt realized. He searched for a name or address of the owner: nothing. Intrigued, Kurt flipped the page.

_Entry 1: _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone _by J.K Rowling_

Kurt felt his heart leap at the title. _Harry Potter _was his favorite series to ever grace the Earth. He read on:

_Personal Note: I decided to commence this journey with a classic, modern series, one of the most well-known and well-written pieces that was published during my lifetime. I guess it will serve as a "control" for this project. Nevertheless, whether the title is "Sorcerer's" or "Philosopher's", this first book changed the lives of children everywhere._

The author began to summarize the book in great detail. Kurt smiled as he described Harry's adventures at Hogwarts perfectly: many wonderful memories of the series began to rush back from when he read the books as a kid.

_Review: JK Rowling is my hero, as she is the one who got me into reading in the first place. Reading became not just an activity for leisure, but an escape from reality into a place where nearly everyone feels they belong. It's a beautiful thing._

_PN (continued): I'm not really sure why I started this, but I think this could serve beautifully for The Project, thus why I titled this book _The Book Project. _I guess it's something to keep me occupied with. I'm glad that I started with a good series; I probably would've stopped at the review if I had started with _Common Sense _or something similar. Until next time, _  
_-BDA_

Who was this BDA? He wrote so well, expressing how Kurt felt about the books. He reread the Personal Note, hoping to find out more about the author between the lines. Nothing gave, except the fact that he was bored and had a good sense of humor. Kurt wasn't sure of his gender (he decided on "he" just because it would be rude to refer to him as an "it"), of his age, of whether he preferred apples to oranges, but the mystery of it all somewhat attracted Kurt. Not like that, more like his adventure had come. In books, there's always some sort of mystery or odyssey that the main character has to go on.

But who was BDA? He didn't recognize the initials, nor the handwriting. Perhaps the author would reveal his identity in the other entries.

Kurt scanned the rest of the Harry Potter entries with no success. He did, however, enjoy reading them, although he disagreed with BDA's opinion of _The Order of the Phoenix_. Finally, he reached the most recent entry about _The Scarlet Letter_. Big mistake: while he found no information about the author, he read the whole summary revealing the plot of the entire book.

Suddenly, Kurt got an idea. Underneath BDA's elaborate signature, he wrote:

**Tag your spoilers, please! I found your journal with this book, **_**The Scarlet Letter**_**; why did you leave it there? And who are you?**  
**-KH**  
**PS. You have amazing handwriting, and write amazing summaries**.

He paused for a moment, and then sighed with disappointment, leaving some space from where he last wrote.

**Sorry, I was expecting you to write back like Tom Riddle's diary. I guess I can trust you, if this isn't a Horcrux...although I don't know if you have any others...**

Kurt closed the book, leaving _The Scarlet Letter _next to it on the table in front of him. There was no point in reading it anymore; he got up and looked for the _Harry Potter_ section in the room.

* * *

About two hours later, Kurt decided it was time to leave. He put back _The Sorcerer's Stone_ (he was more than halfway through, right at the Mirror of Erised: Kurt did not feel like bawling his eyes out that day) and returned to his little corner in the back, where his school bag, _The Scarlet Letter_, and _The Book Project _were waiting for him on the table. He decided to leave the two books there for BDA to find, hoping he wouldn't be so reckless with his belongings the next time.

Kurt didn't even know how it got there, the Book; within the three total hours of his stay, the only person to come into the room was Mrs. Devon, the ancient librarian. She was not the nicest woman to Kurt, but as long as he was silent and somewhat hidden, she did not bother him-that was why he had his corner set up in the back. Kurt wondered if BDA ever saw the woman, or Kurt for that matter.

Kurt grabbed his backpack and left the room, wondering what would become of that blue Book and its owner, the mysterious BDA.

* * *

Author's Note: Please review, it really helps! I've already written 2 more chapters, which will be posted soon...I actually hand- wrote them, so it'll take me a while to get it on here.

I kind of got this idea from River Song's book in _Doctor Who_, as well as _Little Numbers_, my favorite Klaine fanfiction.

(Also, sorry if you're a Twilight fan. No hate intended)


	2. Chapter 2

**~Chapter 2~**  
A/N: Wow! Honestly, I am overwhelmed with the response from the last chapter. This is only my second Klaine fan fiction (the first one isn't done, I'm having a bit of writer's block with it), so I'm glad that I'm off to a decent start :) So, without any further ado, here is Chapter 2!

* * *

Kurt plopped into his chair the next day, exhausted after his run to the library. Some football players had decided to follow him after school again, calling him a myriad of derogatory name for gays from their limited vocabulary. Kurt breathed in and out slowly, crossing his arms over his head to allow his lungs to expand more. He felt tears stinging from his eyes, threatening to stream down his cheeks from a mixture of sadness, anger, and being out of shape.

Yes, Kurt was gay. He was, in fact, the only gay kid at McKinley. Supposedly gay people were accepted more in modern society, but Kurt's experience proved otherwise. He was a pariah in the eyes of his peers, an outsider who infringed on their seemingly perfect view of a utopia.

He didn't want to go to his guidance counselor or his school psychologist about it; they'd just hand him a pamphlet and some tasteless, sugar-free candy, and tell him that he needed to accept the fact that he was "different", that some people wouldn't be so "open" to him, that he just needed to give it "time", and so on. It was bull crap, and would not help Kurt at all. He knew that he was gay for a long time, but decided to come out a while before school started. But why should be be considered "different"? He was a human being. He had two eyes, a nose, a mouth, four limbs, and a functioning brain, things some humans didn't even have, yet he was considered "different", alien, just because of his sexual preference. Regardless of orientation or ethnicity, in Kurt's opinion, all humans should be given the same respect. Of course, however, the world simply could not operate that way.

As Kurt sank deeper into the chair, his breathing and heart rate reverting back to normal, he felt his back hit something hard. He turned around to investigate, his eyes growing wide at the discovery.

The blue Book!

At first, Kurt was elated: _the book was still there_! Then he became irate: the book was _still_ there. _BDA should be more careful with his belongings_, Kurt thought. Nevertheless, Kurt snatched the Book and opened it.

There was a new entry waiting for him, however Kurt only stared at the reply waiting for him under his own note from the day before. Kurt felt his heart begin to race again, like how it pounded against his rib cage as he tried to elude the cruel football players.

_KH-_  
_First order of business: wow, I didn't know that anyone else went into this room, especially to read! This is a pleasant surprise._

_Next, regarding your note: you obviously read my other summaries, so you knew that they are not spoiler-free. Either way, I'm glad that I spared you from the couple hundred pages of boredom that is _The Scarlet Letter_. The idea of it is great, but there is so much description that the plot can disappear...I still think that romanticism was a great era for literature, despite this fault._

_Furthermore, haven't you learned that you shouldn't look at anything if you can't see where it keeps its brain? Haha, I thought you might like that reference-but seriously, how did you come across my diary? No, journal!_

_In all seriousness, while I'd love to do this pen-pal sort of thing, this project is very important to me, so I'd rather that we not correspond anymore (only after you answer my previous question, and this one: who are you?)_  
_-BDA_  
_PS. You're too kind! On an unrelated note, never start a sentence with "and", it's bad writing etiquette!_

_I don't have any Horcruxes either, don't worry. I do treat some of my things, for example this journal, like one!_

Kurt put the book down, feeling quite numb. BDA didn't want to talk to him. He was so funny, so intelligent, so insightful, but he didn't care to communicate with Kurt. BDA seemed to be the glimmer of light shining through the darkness of Kurt's light, the sun of hope for a friend who wouldn't judge him, who would just write to him-about books!-but like everyone else in Kurt's life, he didn't want him.

Stupid, stupid, stupid-why do I get myself into these kind of situations? Kurt asked himself, wringing his fingers. He wished that he'd never written anything, that he could have just left selfish BDA and his stupid-dumb-little project alone.

However, Kurt had gotten himself into the mess, so he was determined to clean it up: his way.

Kurt scanned the next page with the latest entry and groaned. _Twilight_, really? In Kurt's opinion, BDA could do much better. For some reason, though, he hasn't written a review or personal note. Kurt wondered why, but quickly dismissed it; BDA had given him the perfect opportunity for sabotage. He took out a pen from his backpack and began to write underneath the summary:

**Review: ****_Twilight_****, in all honesty, is a piece of utter crap written by a woman who tries to live her dream (literally) through creating the ultimate Mary Sue of all Mary Sues, one Mary Sue to rule them all. Maybe the term "Mary Sue" will be changed to "Bella", it's so bad. And sparkling vampires? That definitely out-gayed me! Typical storyline, there was barely any action, don't even bother with the next three. They're pretty predictable.**

**PN: I'm sorry, but if you want me to answer those questions, you're going to have to accept the fact that I will not give up with this book. It's obvious that this room is the equivalent of the cave for Voldemort's locket, so no matter how long it takes, from 10 minutes to 10 hours (well, maybe not that long, because I have school-you get the idea), I will look. If this project is that important, you would know that you should have an outside view for the books.**  
**-KH**  
**PS. That's actually a bunch of crap; it's more that I'm really stubborn and want my opinion to be heard. And I will start my sentences however I want!**

Kurt slammed the book onto the table, releasing the rest of his frustration. He wasn't completely sure why this little event infuriated him so much. As his anger began to simmer down, Kurt realized that he didn't feel like reading anymore. With a little bit of guilt churning in his stomach, Kurt picked up his backpack and promptly exited the room, leaving the Book on the table.

Once he stepped outside of the library, Kurt realized that his father wouldn't be able to pick him up for another two hours. He sighed and hitched his backpack into a more comfortable position, deciding to begin his journey home by foot.

_Only 3 and a half miles to go_, Kurt thought, gritting his teeth.

* * *

The weekend had finally come, but unfortunately Kurt had been bombarded with a huge load of homework. He felt his stomach jump when his English teacher assigned for them to read and analyze a bunch of romanticism poems. Other than that, he had a Chem lab report, AP European History essay, and a downright unfair amount of problems about imaginary numbers to do for Algebra.

Kurt figured that he could fit in one last trip to the library that week, considering that the rest of his weekend would consist of a little bit of sleep, food, and homework.

He trudged through the brisk afternoon, the cool wind silently stinging his face. Everyone was at school, watching the boys' soccer game; he heard it was the state semi finals or something, but he didn't really care. Kurt was sure that no one else did either, just the kids playing the game, and maybe their friends. However, no one cared about the actual game. The friends and girlfriends cared about the players and their well-being. His best friend scored the winning goal, her boyfriend got sent to the hospital with a slight concussion. Everyone else only cared about being with their friends in the stand, drinking the booze hidden in their water bottles and cheering every so often when a goal was scored, and booing the other team just because their school wasn't as great as McKinley.

Kurt sighed as he reached an intersection, looking up at the trees filled with brown, orange, yellow and red foliage. It was a beautiful display that surrounded the town every autumn, yet Kurt never heard anyone point it out.

Honestly, nobody really cared.

Kurt made it to the library, another harsh burst of wind urging him into the warm building. He hurried into the room, his room, avoiding eye contact with everyone within the library-he never spoke to anyone there.

Upon walking into the room, Kurt hesitated. Where was the book? There were only two ways to find out: Kurt walked past the few rows of bookshelves to his corner.

There it was, waiting for him on the table.

Butterflies fluttered up a storm in his gut, soaring up into his throat. After contemplating whether or not to actually read the Book, Kurt tentatively opened it to the most recent entry.

Much to his surprise, the next entry was not _New Moon_, the next book in the _Twilight_ saga. It was one of Kurt's favorite books.

_Entry 10: _The Perks of Being a Wallflower_ by Stephen Chbosky_

He skimmed over the summary since he basically knew the story by heart. The population of butterflies still exponentially increased as he made it to the review and personal note.

_Review: Everyone in high school should read this book. The letter format is perfect, the characters are lovable, relatable, and real. It's a very interesting read, as you look into the inner workings of Charlie's mind and his outlook on life. Still, you laugh, you cry, you smile at all of Charlie's experiences in this book. There are so many questions to ask about this book, but still, it's an emotional journey that all need to take._

_PN: As KH pointed out, Stephenie Myer isn't the best at creating unique, likable characters (but sorry, I like the story), and since I couldn't stop laughing at his response, I decided to not go ahead with the rest of the saga. It wouldn't provide much substance for this project, and I figured one would suffice._

_To KH-I guess I was wrong: after thinking for a while, I decided that you can help me._

_You obviously love books and reading, and I trust you to have something valuable to say about everything. I see you as the wallflower type, actually: you see, and you understand. However, you're more like the vibrant, exotic type, because you want to be heard. Well, I'm listening-I want you to add to my reviews, whether you oppose or not. It'll help a lot. All that I need you to know is this project is becoming of even greater importance. This leads me to yet another question: do you want credit for it? We can talk more about that._

_I'd also like to write notes back and forth to each other, like what we've been doing. I have a feeling you'd do it anyway, but I need to get to know my associate!_

_So far, from what I can gather, you're 1) not the romantic type, 2) gay, and 3) a total nerd. I am 2 of those 3 things, can you guess?_  
_-BDA_  
_PS. I have a book suggestion. Third bookshelf from the corner, towards the left, author Charles Danforth. I think this will be quite useful for you._

Kurt immediately left the table, searching for Danforth, Charles. It took him a few minutes, but there it was: _ The Ultimate Guide To Writing Properly_.

Kurt couldn't help but smile at the return of stubbornness from his new friend.

* * *

**BDA-**  
**I'd be honored to participate in your project, although I would like to remain anonymous, no credit whatsoever. Because of my reputation of being a nerdy, gay male, I'm not exactly a well-liked person. Also, this was your idea!**

**And excuse me, I can be romantic!**

**Getting back to your other question, I'm going to guess you're not 1) because you like sappy crap like Twilight. So I guess you're the fluffy type to give flowers and quote Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 to your boyfriend or girlfriend (I don't even know your gender!).**

**I literally have nothing else to add to****_ Perks_**** because I love what you wrote, and my brain is shifting to romanticism poem mode, because I need to read a few. I'll be thinking of you; hopefully there won't be too much description!**

**I'll be back Monday because I have a ton of homework to do.**  
**-KH**  
**PS. Thank you for listening.**

* * *

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update; I've been pretty busy with family and so on, since it's that time of the year.  
Also, I won't ever post any full summaries of books because I don't want to spoil them.  
Finally, please review! Thanks so much! xx


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Kurt!" Kurt shut his locker after stuffing his obnoxiously large American Lit book in it, revealing Rachel Berry from behind the door. Kurt groaned internally. Yes, he wanted to have some friends, he wanted to be generally likes, but Rachel-Rachel was a different story.

"Yeah, what's up Rachel?" He asked in a chipper voice that did not belong to him. Rachel didn't notice.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come shopping with me on Wednesday; Finn's taking me out on Friday, so I need a new dress!" She beamed at Kurt. Ever since Rachel started dating Finn, her feet had been swept off of the ground, landing not back down but rather above in the clouds where everything is happy and all smiles, where everything revolved around her and Finn. Gravity and other laws of physics seemed to have taken a hiatus from the couple (especially Rachel), but once they began working again, the fall back down to earth would be a long and painful one.

Nevertheless, Rachel was still blinded by the lights of the heavens, and couldn't see Kurt suffering on the ground below.

"We'll see. I have to ask my dad," he replied quickly, "I've got to get to lunch, bye." Kurt sped away to the cafeteria before she could launch into another story of her dreamy, fantastic boyfriend.

Kurt technically took lunch, but never actually ate in the cafeteria. Since he had lunch towards the end of the day, he'd have a little snack during study hall fourth period to hold him over until seventh period, where he'd get a granola bar from the snack line and wolf it down on his way to the school library.

Like in Mean Girls, Kurt had no where to sit. However, he hasn't found his group of friends like Cady had. She was a "regulation hottie", while Kurt was just a skinny (as in not a muscle in sight), recently-out-of-the-closet, introverted nerd who liked reading in his spare time instead of going to parties and so on. Kurt didn't seem to fit anywhere, but he didn't mind. He related it (he always related everything) to books: all main characters develop and find themselves as the story progresses. Kurt knew he still had many pages to fill in his life, and obviously the other students as well, considering that they needed plenty of mental development.

Kurt quickly got his food-well, not that quickly, considering that some jerks decided it'd be funny to push him out of line and cut in front of him-and rushed to the library so he could complete as much homework as possible.

He finished the bar right before entering the library, his stomach stopping the pangs of hunger he had been feeling the period before lunch. Kurt settled down in front of a computer to start with his Spanish project, hoping that he'd be able to do some other homework before the period ended.

* * *

There was five minutes left of lunch by the time Kurt finished all of the homework he could at school (he still had math left, his textbook was at his house). He scanned the room, searching for something to occupy himself with for the remaining time. Suddenly, Kurt got an idea.

Kurt found the corner containing the school's yearbooks, finding the one from the previous year and flipping it open.

"Last name starts with A, let's see," Kurt muttered in the silent library, and began looking through every student whose last name started with A. There were three students who had a first name that started with B: a sophomore and two juniors.

Kurt sighed and closed the book, returning it to its rightful place as he left the library for his final class of the day. He knew of all three students, and none of them fit his perception of BDA, considering that they probably had IQs equivalent to that of a squirrel.

He strangely was not bothered by the fact that he hasn't found BDA. It took off some pressure, being friends with someone who didn't go to the same school as him. Kurt wondered where BDA lived, and why he decided to go to that particular library.

Kurt's mind was far away from quantum numbers as he entered the Chemistry classroom; he was itching to get back to the library and the Book to continue his work with the stranger who he couldn't stop thinking about.

* * *

The Book was waiting for Kurt on his table as he entered his favorite room a few hours later, relieved that Monday would soon be over.

His walk to the library had been interesting, because he had a little epiphany halfway through: BDA was the only gay person he (somewhat) knew, if he was correct with his guess. It felt very strange, knowing that someone who (most likely) lived quite close to him was also gay, and even stranger that they coincidentally met-through a book. This fact did comfort him, though, knowing that he was acquainted with someone who had this connection with him.

Kurt opened the Book and opened it to the last entry. He skipped the note to check the next book, which was _Looking for Alaska_. The title was vaguely familiar to Kurt, so instead of reading BDA's review and so on, he found the novel with John Green's other books, curled up in his chair, and began to read.

* * *

"Crap, it's 6:18?!" Kurt exclaimed loudly, checking his phone after finally closing the book. He quickly scribbled his review on the next page:

**KH Review: This was a really good book, a 6 out of 7 ****_Harry Potter_**** books in my eyes. The only problem I have is with the fact that Alaska leads on Miles/Pudge so much. Then again, it adds to her character. All characters need to have flaws, right?**

**I may or may not have bawled my eyes out while reading this (evidence is in the book; check for multiple tear stains). It was sad, and very beautifully written.**

**Now I'm off to seek my own Great Perhaps, considering that I stayed here a little too late (no personal note, sorry; I didn't even get to read yours).**

**Let's do ****_An Abundance of Katherines_**** next; I'm taking a copy home. Read to page 100, so we're on the same page (literally and metaphorically).**

**-KH **

Kurt flew out of the room with the other book in his hands, quickly checking it out an running in the front, where Burt had been waiting for nearly 30 minutes in his car. When Kurt first started going to the library, Burt said that the latest he could stay there was 6, with school work being the only exception to the rule. Kurt had not broken it...until that day.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Kurt blabbered as he hopped into the front seat of the car, throwing his bag in the back as Burt began to drive away, "I was reading this really good book and lost track of time and-"

"It's alright, Kurt." Burt said placidly, stopping at a red light down the street. He smiled at his son, and Kurt relaxed, smiling back a little. "I'm perfectly fine with you staying a little late and reading, as long as it doesn't affect your school work," _Crap, math_, Kurt thought, and Burt saw the flash of realization on his son's face, "okay, so I guess this can't really happen again." He stepped lightly on the gas pedal to make his turn. "No worries, though, since you're the only kid I know, hell, probably the only kid in the county that reads as religiously as you do." _Lie_, Kurt thought, but he didn't feel like correcting Burt. For some reason, he didn't want to tell his dad about BDA. It wasn't that it was a bad secret, something that he wasn't supposed to do, but he liked having BDA to himself, his own little adventure.

"And I'm perfectly happy with you being different," Kurt tuned back into the conversation.

"Don't start your sentences with 'and', Dad." Kurt said before he could stop himself.

"Why?"

"Uh, it's improper," Kurt replied, turning to face the window so his dad couldn't see his grin.

"See, you really are different; loads of kids don't know that!" Burt exclaimed as he pulled into the driveway to their house.

_I can think of one_, Kurt thought happily as he got out of the car.

* * *

A/N: I know this one's kind of short, but I felt that I needed to update because it's been awhile.

Also, I think I'm not going to put in the reviews for the books that often, is that okay? I don't want to give too much away from them, because they are really intended as recommendations for the readers! :)

Finally, I'll post updates on my tumblr (championisjustatitle) so you know when a chapter is coming out soon, etc, and I'll probably post bonus stuff as the story develops.

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! xx**


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt found himself sitting in the chair with the Book open the next day; Tuesday had actually gone by very quickly. Kurt spent all of his free time at school reading _An Abundance of Katherines_, ignoring the outside world. He even took it out during Chemistry, since it was the type of day where the teacher never looked away from the whiteboard, only to look at her notes. He just wanted to get to 100 pages before he got to the library, and _Katherines_ made it easy because it was such a good book.

Kurt turned to BDA's personal note from before, the one that he hasn't been able to read the day before:

_You're good at these games, because you're right! I guess it was pretty obvious, but whatever. I'm a sucker for Nicholas Sparks, so we're going to avoid his books: I would become comatose for a week, feeding on chocolate and crying all of the time._

Looking for Alaska_ will make your cold, un-romantic heart melt, I can guarantee that (if you haven't read it before)! It's a good book, I swear!_

_I missed you this weekend, your teachers shouldn't be imposing that much work on you! Do they always do this to you? Ignore me, school should always preside over other activities. God, I feel like I'm talking to a little kid, I'm sorry._

_I know this sounds pervy and completely off-topic, but how old are you? I'm turning 17 soon. I'm hoping that this project will help get me into college, so are you sure you really don't want to really get involved? I don't want you to miss out on a good opportunity, and it isn't that much extra work...right?_  
_-BDA_

_PS Why don't people like you? You seem perfectly fine to me._  
_PPS I happen to know Sonnet 18 by heart, a feat that most people, especially men, can't boast about._

Kurt smiled sadly at the PS. It really was evident that BDA didn't go to McKinley, because he didn't once openly state that he was gay, or say anything about it. To BDA, talking about being a homosexual must be like saying the sky is blue and grass is green, Kurt thought, feeling envious of his correspondent. BDA probably went to a very tolerant school, which was most likely in a parallel universe.

He flipped to the next page, eager to read what BDA had written next. The review was short, considering that it only covered 100 pages. Kurt began to read the personal note:

_So you do have a heart! Maybe _Looking for Alaska_ gave you one...I must be the Wizard of Oz for giving you, the Tin Man, a beating heart full of emotions. Okay, I'll stop._

_Sorry for somewhat causing you to stay for too long. I have done the same thing a multitude of times, yet I still manage to go to bed before 10. I need my beauty sleep._

_I can't "be here" on Wednesday, because we have an event with my school's glee club (does your school have one? Are you in it?), so maybe we should finish _Katherines_ by Thursday...okay?_  
_-BDA_

Kurt could not believe his luck. BDA would also be busy on Wednesday, so there wouldn't be any complications in their arrangement. He wouldn't have to worry about BDA during his shopping trip with Rachel, thank goodness.

He felt a swooping sensation in his stomach when he read the part about the glee club. McKinley did have a glee club, New Directions, but Kurt just could not bring himself to join it. They too got slushied; they were almost as low on the social pyramid as he was. Kurt knew that if he joined, he would get slushied twice as much as usual, and the bullying would become unbearable. He wasn't even sure if the people within the glee club would accept him. Yes, it helped having Rachel in it, but she wasn't someone he could deal with every day-she was best in small doses.

Yet Kurt secretly yearned to be in the glee club. He loved singing, and he wanted to perform badly. He could take on a completely different persona, be a someone that he wasn't. It sounded like fun, but there were too many impossible obstacles he needed to get over.

BDA got over them, though, he thought, he's in the glee club. Why shouldn't you?

Again, Kurt wondered where the hell BDA went to school, but that was disclosed information. If he wasn't going to reveal much to BDA, then BDA shouldn't reveal that much to him. Kurt realized that he still didn't even know his real name.

Kurt quickly added to BDA's review, and then began to write his note.

**You're in luck: I have plans on Wednesday as well. I'm going out with a girl-that sounds wrong, you know what I mean-who's in my school's glee club. I've always wanted to join, but people at school aren't so open to gays or a Capella groups. I can't imagine what it'd be like if I was both, and I don't want to.**

Kurt put down his pen. Why was he writing these things to BDA? They were secrets he didn't even tell his dad. Burt didn't really know what happened to Kurt while he was at school. Kurt did his own laundry, so Burt didn't see the slushie stains on his clothes. He never saw the bruises on his son's skin, the extent of which Kurt suffered (Kurt, however, did not know that Burt had a feeling that something was very wrong).

He divulged these things to the semi-stranger because he knew BDA would keep them. Who could he tell? No one at his school would know two initials.

Anyway, Kurt couldn't help but feel like BDA was an unusual person.  
If someone had written in Kurt's journal (if he had one), Kurt would never leave it in the library again: he probably would stop going there altogether. BDA's positive response to Kurt comforted him, since BDA was among the very few people who actually liked him.

Feeling a little more confident, Kurt picked up his pen again.

**Still, maybe I'll ask her about it. I don't know if I'll get in though, when the only practicing I do is in the shower/in my room, singing into a hairbrush. I feel so bad for my dad's ears.**

**I know this is completely out of the blue, but when did you come out? I guess it's not that out of the blue, since you also asked me a random question. Anyway... I just did a few months ago. While it's been rough, I don't regret doing it, because keeping such a big secret for so long would probably make me explode. What I'm wondering is, why does it seem like it's so easy for you, being gay?**

**I'm turning 18 soon...just a year apart, that's not bad!**

**And yes, I'm sure that I want to remain anonymous. This is your project; I'm just a friend helping out! Anyway, I do get a lot of work from my teachers! It's so not fair. I have a major case of senioritis too, which does NOT help at all.**

**Okay, I think that's enough for today and tomorrow, so I'll "talk" to you on Thursday! Good luck at glee club!**  
**-KH**

After signing his initials, Kurt took out the book again and started to read.

* * *

A/N: I feel like this chapter isn't that great, but the next one is going to be huge, I promise!


	5. Chapter 5

"So, what do you think?" Rachel emerged from the fitting room, wearing a chic black number.

"Too formal. Try for something younger, and simpler. Here, let me pick out something for you," Kurt said kindly, and got up from his chair. He'd been dying to pick out something for Rachel-fashion was his forte, and most certainly not Rachel's. She had tried on about 20 outfits already, none of which pleased either of them.

They'd only gone to two stores, and it was nearly two hours since they had arrived at the mall.

Kurt tried to be patient with her. He let her talk about everything related to her as she picked out clothes, saying "yeah" and "mhm" every few minutes so she wouldn't bother him about not listening to her.

Normally he'd just tune his friend out, but Kurt did actually listen to her. Listening to Rachel's problems let him temporarily forget his own. Rachel had all of the typical high school girl problems (hair won't curl properly, too much homework, etc), yet Kurt could tell that there were hidden issues underneath; there was always something more. He could see right through her: he wondered if anyone could do that with him.

He barely said anything, though; he let her release everything she wanted or needed to say, even if they meant absolutely nothing.

Kurt left the dressing room and explored the store, looking for the dress he had spotted seconds after he had entered the store. It was a deep cranberry and knee-length, subdued yet still Rachel-esque. Kurt looked through the rack for her size.

"Do you need any help, sir?" Kurt nearly jumped when he heard a voice behind him. He turned around; a young woman smiled at him, awaiting his reply. She was tall and blonde; with gaudy hoop earrings and lipstick that matched the dress he was looking for but did not suit her at all.

"Yes, actually, do you have this dress in a...uh...a 4? I'm going to grab a 5, but I don't know if it'll be too, er, big on her..."

"Sure! Let me check in the back," the girl said, and headed towards a door hidden towards the back of the store. Kurt, feeling a bit awkward after their short conversation, began looking through a nearby rack of skirts, thinking of how he could improve them when he began working in the line of fashion (Kurt wanted to go to college in New York for fashion; he had only told Burt about his dream, who seemed pretty open to it).

"Okay, we have it! Here you go!" The girl (her name tag read "Stacey!", which was probably why she always sounded so happy all of the time) returned with the dress in her arms, handing it over to Kurt. He took it, double-checking it for the correct size.

"Who's this for, your girlfriend?" She said, leaning over on the rack as she stood across from Kurt.

Kurt laughed. "No, it's for a friend. I'm helping her...I'm gay."

There was an awkward silence. The girl began to make a face, her visage mean and foreboding. She crossed her arms and backed away.

"You're an abomination! Ugh, get away from me," she spat, and walked away from Kurt.

Tears sprung to his eyes; Kurt looked down at the dresses in his arms. Everyone at the store was looking at him. It wasn't many, but Kurt could feel their stares on his trembling figure as he tried not to cry.

"Hey," a hand touched his back lightly; Kurt flinched and turned around. Rachel. He had never been more relieved to see her. "Let's get out of here."

She took the dresses. "Wait here," she told Kurt as she began to walk away. She found the woman who had yelled at Kurt helping a young girl nearby (the silence had passed as quickly as it came).

"Here **you** go," she flung the dresses in the worker's arms. The woman had a bewildered look on her face. Rachel then turned to the girl. "You don't want to be like her when you grow up, being a discriminating...witch!" She stopped herself before she cursed. Rachel turned back to Kurt, grabbed him, and semi-dragged him out of the store because his legs didn't seem to work properly.

They walked to the Starbucks in the food court; Rachel sat him down in a chair at an empty table for two in front of it as she got on line.

Kurt's mind was blank while he waited for Rachel. He felt like his whole nervous system had been paralyzed. He knew, deep down, that there was just a matter of time before he broke.

Rachel returned with a decaf coffee for herself and a hot chocolate for Kurt. She handed it to him, he took a sip; the liquid was scalding, so he immediately put it back down and waited for it to cool.

It was the quietest Rachel had ever been. She watched Kurt, who was slightly hunched over in his chair, staring down at his drink. Finally, she decided it was time to talk about what happened.

"Kurt...do you want to talk about it?" She said softly. Kurt looked up at her, his blue eyes filled with pain. It was hard for Rachel to look at.

"I don't-I guess I should. It's just...it's been hard for me. I don't think you know how hard." He paused, taking a second to compose himself. "I get beaten down every day. Not literally, well, sometimes, but people just diminish me until I feel like nothing. I get slushied often, more than the glee club. I get pushed and shoved around, but nothing is worse than the words, and the looks. I've been called every name in the book, and I always get stared at in the hallways, like I'm some kind of animal or evil thing, I don't know," he tightened his grip around his drink, his knuckles turning white.

"What I don't get is why people are so awful about it, you being gay," Rachel jumped in, realizing that Kurt was close to his breaking point. "It's not like it's a new concept. It shouldn't be such a big deal, and people shouldn't use sexual orientation to judge whether you're an 'abomination' or something."

"She was probably some sort of Bible freak, the whole 'the Bible said Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve'," Kurt mumbled, thinking of the worker.

Rachel laughed. "Probably. Don't worry about it; anyway, her makeup was definitely a sin." She drank her coffee. "We always talk about my relationship. Have you, uh, met anyone?" She asked awkwardly, trying to change the subject.

Kurt scoffed; Rachel was the one who always talked about her relationship, and the last part of her sentence was hilarious. "No! You think any boys at school would go out with me when most of them are homophobic?! I don't even know anyone who's-" Kurt stopped himself mid-sentence. Should he tell Rachel? He closed his eyes, sitting back in his chair.

"What, Kurt?"

Kurt sighed. "I kind of…know someone. Someone else who's gay. But we're not together or anything," he added quickly. It was a foreign thought, that he could have a _different _kind of relationship with his friend, but for some reason Kurt's heart skipped a beat as he thought about it.

"What's his name?" Rachel leaned close to him with interest.

"The truth is, I don't know!" Kurt laughed. Rachel threw him a confused look. She opened her mouth to speak, but Kurt cut her off and explained the whole situation.

"That's so interesting! You just kind of 'met'" (she made quotation marks with her fingers) "by chance! That sounds like a cool project too. Not enough people read today! I wonder what its real purpose is…"

"I don't really know myself, it's his project. I'm just helping. I don't know that much about him, and vice versa. He was busy tonight, so I don't have to worry about him being lonely." Kurt smiled.

Rachel drained her cup and checked her phone. "I guess we can leave. I can just wear some of my old clothes, it's alright. I don't even think Finn will notice!" They laughed, and got up from the table. Kurt took his hot chocolate in one hand and held his arm out to Rachel.

"Shall we?" Kurt asked, smiling at her.

"Let's," she replied, interlocking her arm with Kurt's. They walked away from the food court, their heads held high. Kurt felt light and gay (as in happy), since he'd finally let go of his secret, which he suspected had been weighing on his chest. It was more of a "spur of the moment" thing, telling Rachel. He hoped that it was the right choice.

As they were leaving, Kurt heard a voice from the speakers:

"Now in the area in front of Macy's, we welcome…The Warblers!"

Kurt was confused; he'd never heard of the Warblers before…were they a band? He turned to Rachel, who grimaced.

"Who are the Warblers?" he queried; obviously she had heard of them before.

"They're a glee club. While they are composed of a bunch of hot, incredibly talented guys, they're our greatest competition."

Kurt felt his stomach lurch into his throat. "_I can't 'be here' on Wednesday, because we have an event with my school's glee club (does your school have one? Are you in it?)"_. Could it be…?

"Rachel, can you tell me more about glee club? I think I'd like to join." They walked out of the mall into the parking lot towards Rachel's car, the cold wind piercing their skin. Rachel's hair whipped around as she turned to Kurt, a genuine smile on her face.

"Sure! I think you'll be a great addition," Kurt grinned back at her, feeling the happiest he'd been since finding BDA, despite the night's awful events.

* * *

A/N: So, what did you think? Review review review; it really helps!

Shout out to KjAnDcooL, who inspired me to write in the part about the Warblers :)

xx


	6. Chapter 6

A week later, Kurt was back in the library, with Hunger (the next book in the Gone series, which Kurt had suggested that they read because it was quality science-fiction, something they were lacking in for the project) sitting on the table in front of him, next to the Book, which was open to a blank page. Kurt was sitting back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling, a stupid smile on his face.

He had made it into the glee club. He auditioned on Monday after Rachel told Mr. Schuester that Kurt was interested in joining. Kurt had practiced all weekend long, drinking tea and honey in between practice sessions. Right after he let go of the final note during his audition, Mr. Schue told him that he was in. Kurt nearly burst into tears. He thanked Mr. Schue, who then said that he'd start on Thursday.  
BDA, of course, had been elated for Kurt.

_I'm so happy for you! Hold on...okay, I just did a happy dance around the room. That's great! Maybe we'll see each other at competitions? Oh, and "could of sung better" is wrong on so many levels because 1) it's could HAVE, and 2) I'm sure you sounded perfect._

He closed his eyes, trying to think of what BDA could possibly look like. He'd never thought about it until then, but Kurt was becoming curious. After a few minutes, he gave up. He didn't even know if he'd find BDA attractive or not. Kurt didn't quite have a "type", but he really did love hazel eyes.

Thinking about his preference of boys, Kurt then opened his eyes and turned back to the page where BDA had replied to his question about coming out:

_I'd rather not get into the details. I was younger than you when I came out, and yes, it was hard, but it's gotten a lot better._  
_I'm surprised that it's been hard for you. Are people at your school homophobic? That's really unfortunate; I'm so sorry. I would suggest that you come to my school, but I go to an expensive private school (I know, I sound like a snob...it's complicated), and it's not worth it, considering that you're nearly done with high school. Seriously, though, it's 2012 for God's sake, why is sexuality still an issue?_

BDA seemed to echo Rachel's own words. Along with BDA, Kurt was becoming closer with her. Over the past week, Kurt began to hang out with Rachel more often, talking to her before and after school and in between classes.

Kurt re-read the part about BDA's school; it seemed to fit Rachel's description of the Warblers. While Kurt wished that he had stayed to watch the performance, he was glad that he didn't. He wanted to meet BDA the proper way, if they ever actually did meet. Kurt felt a swooping sensation in his core as he thought about seeing BDA in person.

_What is happening to me?_ He wondered. He never even considered meeting BDA before, or imagined what he looked like, but that was beginning to change.

_It has only been two weeks since we started communicating_, Kurt thought,_ it's way too early. He probably doesn't want to meet me, anyway._

_Why not, though_? Another voice replied. _He seemed excited about the possibility of seeing you at competitions..._

"Stop that," he said aloud. "Oh, crap, I'm talking to myself," he said again, and shook his head. _ I am definitely going crazy_, he thought, and picked up Hunger to read.

* * *

"So, everyone, we have another competition coming up in about a month, and we also have a fundraiser to come up with. First, however, we have a new addition that I am very excited to introduce. Kurt, why don't you come up here and tell everyone a little bit about yourself?" Mr. Schuester asked the next day. It was Kurt's first official day as a member of the glee club, and he felt like he was going to throw up. The euphoria was long gone, and the butterflies had settled back down in his stomach.

A few sporadic claps sounded as Kurt got up from his chair in the back of the choir room, away from the other members of the glee club. He slowly walked to the front, next to Mr. Schue, who nodded at him and smiled. Kurt cleared his throat.

"Hi, everyone," he began nervously, his eyes darting around the room. Rachel was sitting directly across from him with a huge smile plastered onto her face. Her hand was interlocked with Finn's in his lap, who gave him a small smile. He recognized many of the other faces in the room; Mercedes, Santana, Brittany, Sam... and Puck, who was on the football team with Finn, but gave it up to be on the glee club. Kurt was wary of anyone who was on the football team, even if they weren't on it anymore.

He really wished that BDA were there. _AHH, STOP! CONCENTRATE!_

"I'm sure a lot of you know me as, uh, 'the gay guy', but I'd rather be known as Kurt Hummel, new member of the glee club. Okay, thanks," he ended awkwardly, and returned back to his seat, heat rushing up to his cheeks. He didn't look at anyone, because he didn't want to watch them stare at him as he expected them to. Mr. Schue began discussing options for the fundraiser.

As he sat back down in his chair, he heard a soft "hey". It wasn't Rachel: much to Kurt's surprise, it was Sam. Kurt didn't personally know Sam, but he heard a lot about him. Sam gestured for Kurt to sit in the empty chair next to him.

_He's cute,_ Kurt suddenly realized. Kurt never checked out any of the guys at McKinley, considering that most of them were utter jerks. Life, however, had changed for Kurt.

_Okay, there's no need to check Sam out, I'm pretty sure he's straight,_ he thought.

"Hi Kurt, I'm Sam. It's really nice to meet you," he said, holding out his hand.

"Hi, nice to meet you too," Kurt replied, and took it, looking up at Sam. Blue met blue, the latter nearly hidden under eyebrow-length blonde bangs. Kurt quickly let go of Sam's soft, welcoming hand and turned back to pay attention, feeling a huge wave of mixed emotions.

That was that. Just "hello", no "oh, you're gay". No mention of it, no big deal. Kurt assumed that they would, considering that his first words to the group included the word "gay", but no. Kurt felt a wave of appreciation for the glee club, even though he only now knew 3 members...kind of.

_Thank you, BDA_, Kurt thought as he sat back in his chair, _thank you for helping me feel like I belong..._

"Hey, are you okay? Oh, I know, you've got that look on your face..." Rachel grinned. Kurt looked around: the club had dispersed around the room into groups. Rachel and Finn stood in front of him. _ Did I really just spend the majority of my first day zoning out, thinking about BDA?_ Kurt thought, horrified.

"We're taking a short break, don't worry. We're going to do singing grams for the holidays-"

"Although I doubt anyone will by one-" Finn interjected under his breath, but Rachel ignored him.

"-and now we're going to practice! But why don't we chat with the other members of the club?"

Kurt's hands began to sweat. Before, they had to be nice because Mr. Schue was there; he was now deep in conversation with the pianist, not paying any attention to the club. _Are they going to be as nice to me as Sam was_? Kurt wondered.

"Why don't we talk to Mike..."

For five minutes, Rachel dragged him from person to person, introducing him and making small talk. Kurt couldn't help but notice that Rachel was usually greeted with a tiny groan, but either she didn't see it or she ignored it. However, when they spoke to Kurt they were, for the most part, nice, if not a little too nice. It was a bit unnatural for Kurt; he even wondered if they were acting.

"Everyone's so nice here," Kurt exclaimed as he sat back down next to Sam while Mr. Schue started handing out sheet music.

"Yeah," Sam stated with a hint of sadness, not really paying attention. He was staring at the clock. Kurt was confused by his melancholy response, but took the sheet music handed to him and immersed himself in his first song he was going to perform with the glee club.

**PN: Hey! I really can't stay, but I'm going to stay here for awhile just to write a note. I just got back from glee club! It went well, I think...everyone was nice, and I did pretty good (I know it's "well", I'm just trying to get on your nerves...muahaha!) when I sang. I think so, at least, and that's all that matters, right? Also, there was a really cute guy, too, but I think he's straight. A boy can dream...that sounds really weird, I'm sorry.**  
**"Talk" to you soon!**  
**KH**

* * *

A/N: I know this was short, I just felt the need to update :) I hope this chapter wasn't too boring!  
Also, if you've read Gone, I love you. It's one of my favorite series (Harry Potter doesn't even count anymore, it's more than my favorite).  
**If you have any book recommendations, feel free to tell me! I'll try to include some in the story (somehow).**  
Again, thank you for all of the reviews and follows-honestly, I can't thank you enough. I want to be an author or pursue a related career, and this is really encouraging.  
Possibly another big chapter coming up? Stay tuned! :) xx


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: WARNING! Violence ahead!

* * *

Life was starting to seem to be what Kurt would describe as "normal". It had been a little more than a week since Kurt joined the glee club, and everyone there seemed to be friendly to him. Even the kids at school who were usually mean to him seemed to have backed off. He was able to walk through the halls with minimal shoving, and he got less stares. Kurt wondered why this was happening, but accepted the change graciously.

He and BDA were hard at work on the project; his friend even hinted that they were nearing completion:

_I think a few more books will suffice; I've been talking to some people at school and making arrangements...this project is going to go far!_

Kurt found himself thinking about this often, at school, at home-everywhere. What would happen when they finished the project? Would BDA still leave the Book out, the thing Kurt looked forward to every day? What if Kurt became busier with the glee club, and didn't have time to go to the library anymore?

Kurt nearly felt like bursting into tears at these thoughts, but somehow he knew deep down inside that somehow their friendship would persevere.  
He was actually becoming alarmed at the amount of time he thought about BDA. It was like a song stuck in his head, a really good one at that. It seemed that it could only be subdued when he actually listened to the song, when he went to the library and wrote in the Book, but he still thought about it afterwards.

Still, Kurt was a lot happier than before. He felt himself smile a lot more often, he would laugh at even the smallest of things. He enjoyed going to glee, almost as much as when he went to the library. Even his grades, which were decent, were picking up a bit.

One particularly brisk day Kurt was at his locker after school, placing his books that he didn't need back into his locker and retrieving his coat. It was a half-day because all of the teachers had to do something (Kurt never figured out what "Curriculum Day" really meant), so the halls were completely empty. Kurt was looking forward to a long afternoon completely dedicated to the library, hoping to possibly get two books in - he was feeling_ The Chronicles of Narnia_, another series that left a huge impact on his childhood.

He took his time as he put on his coat, checking his hair in the mirror situated inside of his locker. Suddenly he felt his bag leave his side on the ground, and looked behind him.

There they were. The main boys who had religiously bullied Kurt since the beginning of the year. The one directly across from him, Karofsky, was holding the bag in his hands, an ominous glint in his eyes. His two cronies flanked him on either side, giving him dirty looks. Kurt gulped, knowing that the "honeymoon" he'd been on had ended.

"You thought that since we stopped bothering you for a week that everything would be fine, didn't you?" Karofsky spat, handing the bag to the boy on the left. "Did you?" He asked again with more urgency. Kurt closed his locker as he backed up against it. He nodded, his heart hammering against his chest. _Oh my God, what is he going to do to me, oh no-_

"You two, go throw the bag in the dumpster. If he doesn't do what I ask him, then he'll join it," Karofsky never broke eye contact with Kurt; Kurt glanced at the two boys who quickly left the hall. It was just him and Karofsky alone in the hall.

"Are they gone?" he asked, with a hint of worry in his voice. Confused, Kurt nodded for a second time. Karofsky grabbed his wrist painfully. "Say it! Speak! Are they gone?"

"Yes! Yes! Please let me go," Kurt nearly cried, which only caused his captor to grin even more.

"Poor little Hummel, the _only_ gay kid at school," he growled, grabbing the other wrist and pressing them against the lockers, his fingernails digging into Kurt's skin. Kurt felt his eyes widen. _What is he doing?_

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Hummel. You try to resist me, I do it anyway and you go to the dumpster. You don't resist, you don't go to the dumpster. Deal?" Kurt began to nod, but then remembered.

"Yes," he could barely even formulate the word. He closed his eyes, trying to pretend he was in the library to ignore the pain that was soon to come. He had no idea what was going to come, and didn't even want to know.

Nothing came after about a minute; Kurt opened his eyes. Karofsky had tears in his eyes.

"What-"

Suddenly a pair of lips cut him off, crashing down on his mouth hard. Kurt could not believe it. Someone was kissing him, his first kiss. His eyes widened and his mouth grew taut.

**_Karofsky is kissing me!_**

Kurt came to his senses: he needed to break it off. He'd rather get thrown in the dumpster than kiss someone who made his life absolute hell. He did the first thing that came to mind: he kneed Karofsky in a place that should not be kneed, causing him to double over in pain. Kurt evaded his grasp, which had loosened from the hit, and sprinted down the hall as fast as he could, but unfortunately Karofsky was more athletic than him, and quickly caught up after recovering from the blow. His attacker tripped him, and Kurt felt his legs fall out from under him, his body hitting the ground hard. He stayed down, paralysed. Karofsky then proceeded to kick his side, knocking the wind out of his victim. Kurt whimpered, hoping that the abuse would soon come to an end. He knew that it wouldn't.  
The bully then grabbed his arms, bunching up the sleeves of his jacket and scratching his bare skin as he brought Kurt to his feet. Karfosky wordlessly began leading-dragging, rather-him through the halls, eventually making it to the back of the building. He threw Kurt against the door as if he weighed as much as a football; Kurt cried out at the impact.

"Open the door!" Karofsky demanded, and Kurt did as he was told. He couldn't think about anything else aside from the fate that was awaiting him. His brain seemed to be disconnected from his body as he stepped outside.

There it stood: the dumpster.

The two other boys were standing there on their cell phones; Kurt felt Karfosky come up to him and held his arms behind him in an uncomfortable position. Kurt squirmed as the two other boys began to approach, putting their phones in their pockets. A frigid gust of wind carried the stench from the dumpster; Kurt wrinkled his nose in disgust, his eyes tearing from both the cold and from Karfosky's harsh grip.

It felt like he was underwater: time had slowed down, and Kurt couldn't hear a thing. He couldn't even breathe. Kurt watched as the others grabbed his legs, lifting him in the air. They stepped in front of the dumpster. Kurt closed his eyes.

Kurt felt himself being heaved into the air, hands pushing hard against and then leaving his legs, his back, his butt (he knew exactly who that was). Kurt's right arm hit the sharp side of the dumpster, cutting through his coat and skin. Finally, he felt him hit the sludgy surface of the trash within, sinking in slightly. He opened his eyes, nearly throwing up at the sight.

Of course he fell on all of the food that had been thrown out from that day. He could see the ketchup stains on his shoes, the milk on his pants, on his coat-was that orange?-and penne stuck in his hair. There was so much more, but Kurt was so overwhelmed that he just laid there, tears streaming down his face.  
"And if you think about telling anyone," Karfosky's voice pierced through the silence, "I will skin you. I will seriously skin you. Got that?"

"Y-yes," Kurt basically whispered, but Karfosky seemed to hear him. He cursed Kurt off, his voice beginning to drift away along with his companions' laughter.  
Kurt couldn't bring himself to move for a few minutes. He could hardly even breathe. The filth around him made him want to gag, and his arm throbbed from the laceration carved in it. Trying to escape from the reality of the situation, Kurt stared up at the clear blue sky, taking a few calming breaths to collect himself. It helped a little bit, but Kurt knew that he had to do something soon.

Finally, Kurt slowly sat up, taking in his surroundings. It wasn't as revolting as before, considering that he'd gotten used to it sitting in it for a few minutes. Kurt swiveled his head, searching for his bag. He quickly found it sitting directly behind him: it was still closed, so thankfully nothing fell out. Nevertheless, it was still covered with garbage, and Kurt was sure that he wouldn't be able to use it anymore. He hoped that nothing inside of it was damaged. Kurt crawled over and grabbed it, his hands sticky from some sort of substance. He put it on, gently threading his injured arm through the strap.

Kurt crawled over to the side of the dumpster, grabbing onto the metal as he steadied himself. He stood up, his feet sinking in the garbage. This was too much for Kurt; he swiftly swung his legs over the side, still holding the side as he hung in midair above the ground, which sat a little more than a foot below him. He stayed like that for a few seconds, reveling in the fact that the worst was over. Kurt then let himself drop down.

"Ouch," he cried: his left ankle twisted slightly as he landed. It wasn't anything too serious, but a twisted ankle was a twisted ankle, and it hurt.

Then it hit Kurt like a train traveling at a hundred miles per hour: _How am I going to get home?_

Burt was still working, and Kurt knew that he wasn't able to do the four and a half miles to his house. He figured that walking to the library would be the best thing to do.

He took a few steps, limping slightly from the fading pain in his ankle. Some food labels that had been stuck to his coat fell off: Kurt still felt contaminated.  
Kurt trudged on, hoping that no one would see him as he made his journey.

_I wish I had a car_, he thought over and over again

* * *

Nearly 20 minutes later, Kurt entered the library, stumbling slightly as his entire body burned from the long walk and abuse it had endured. He saw Mrs. Devon staring at him from behind the counter; he ignored her and walked to his room, praying that the Book would be there. It was his last consolation, the only thing that could make him feel any better from the events of the day.

He sighed with relief as he made it to the back of the room, dropping down into the chair in the back and staring at the closed Book in front of him. Kurt opened it, reading BDA's review and note. He felt a wetness rolling down his cheeks as he smiled, just feeling so grateful for BDA. He didn't know why, but in that moment Kurt just felt his heart burst with appreciation for the boy he'd never truly met, his pen-pal of three weeks. Despite all of the bad times, BDA could still make him forget everything.

Suddenly, the door opened. Kurt looked up and saw none other than Mrs. Devon rushing towards him. She had a look on her face that Kurt never saw, her visage contorted with an intense animosity. As she stood in front of him, however, and beheld the Book within his hands, she stopped, her expression morphing into one of complete surprise.

"You!" She exclaimed, looking up at Kurt. "You're the one who has been communicating with my grandson!"

* * *

A/N: What did you think? I know it was really long, and sad, and gross, but I was feeling that an intense scene was needed. Also, I knew from the beginning that Mrs. Devon was BDA's grandmother (get it?)

I changed the rating because of the violence, but that should be about it for violence/ etc.


	8. Chapter 8

"Wha-what?" Kurt sputtered, hardly able to believe what he was hearing.

"He made me swear that if I ever met you, I wouldn't tell you his name, basically anything he would want to tell you himself. Your initials are KH, I presume?" She asked kindly. Kurt nodded. Normally, Mrs. Devon would just give Kurt dirty looks, the stereotypical type of librarian. Now her eyes were kind, and she placed a gentle hand on Kurt's arm. He winced.

"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked. Kurt shook his head.

"I can't," he said quietly, still shocked at it all. He couldn't bring himself to say the actions done unto him aloud.

"That's okay, dear. Here, let me take your coat, it's filthy," she said, gesturing for him to take it off. Kurt was glad to do so, since it was becoming very uncomfortable. The right sleeve was torn, the ends frayed and dirty. There were stains all over the material, and Kurt realized how much it reeked.

"I'm sorry, I must smell really bad," he blurted out awkwardly as she took the coat.

"I'm not going to lie, you do," she laughed a little. Mrs. Devon held the coat from the inside, since that was the cleanest part. "I don't think that you'll want this anymore?"

"No. There will be bad memories associated with it, I guess. I don't know if I could wash and sew it and bring it to Goodwill-"

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. I'll do it. Speaking of sewing, let's take a look at your arm! I'm no nurse, but that looks pretty serious," she left the coat on a nearby chair, walking up to Kurt and carefully rolling up the bloodied sleeve of his shirt.

Kurt's jaw dropped as he stared at the long cut that ran through his forearm, hot dog style; it had to be about four inches long. It wasn't too deep, and wasn't bleeding anymore...not too much, at least. Regardless, the sight of it still made him feel faint.

"Oh dear, I think you'll want to get that checked out. It doesn't look too bad, though."

"Oh no, my dad isn't going to be home for a while and I can't really walk home...it's okay, it doesn't hurt anymore." That was partially a lie. His arm was stinging.

"I'll drive you to the hospital. I really think you should call him, though, I think his son is more important than his job," she smiled sadly. "I don't think I can say the same about my grandson," she added under her breath.

Kurt, while wondering what she meant about BDA, could not believe how nice she was. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Devon. Do you think I can bring the Book with me? I didn't get the chance to write anything. Also, can I take out _The Magician's Nephew_? I think we should move onto Narnia next. I might as well do all of that, since I've heard that visits to the ER are long." Kurt had only been to the hospital twice, to visit his mom, and his dad after his heart attack.

"Good choice," she said. Kurt got up, grabbing his bag and the Book. He waited for Mrs. Devon by the door as she found the book he requested and checked it out, taking out his phone and dialing his dad's phone number.

"Hello?"

Kurt took in a deep breath. Just hearing Burt's voice made a bunch of emotions rush through his body.

"Dad," he choked out.

"What's wrong, Kurt, what happened?" asked Burt, worry resonating through the speaker.

"I can't explain it all here. I'm at the library; I cut my arm pretty badly. Well, not here at the library, and I didn't really do it-I'm sorry, I'm such a mess. It's been a long day. Mrs. Devon, the librarian, is taking me to the hospital, if that's okay with you,"

"What?! Oh, Kurt, oh my God...okay, okay...you go ahead, I'll get there as soon as I can, okay?"

"Yeah. Bye Dad."

"Bye Kurt. Love you,"

"I love you too."

The line went dead, and with perfect timing. Mrs. Devon walked up to Kurt, ushering him out of the library. There were only two cars in the parking lot; Mrs. Devon wordlessly led him to the small Corolla. They got in, and Mrs. Devon began driving away. Kurt hoped that she wasn't an "old lady" driver-and she turned out to be far from it. She turned slightly to Kurt as she sped through a yellow light.

"You know, he talks about you a lot," she said against the smooth, calming jazz playing in the background. Kurt pulled himself out of the music he'd been immersed in and turned to her, completely surprised by her statement.

"Really?" She nodded, a big smile on her face. Kurt didn't know what else to say. He knew that BDA had to be fond of him, because why would he continue writing to him if he didn't like his correspondent, and he must have mentioned the Book Project multiple times for Mrs. Devon to know, but he had no idea that BDA would think or talk about him that often. It couldn't possibly amount to how much Kurt thought about him, though.

The car was quiet for a few minutes while Kurt looked out of the window, drowned in his thoughts. The sky outside was darkening earlier than usual; a sign that winter was soon arriving. A few rays of scarlet stretched out from the horizon, turning to deep red to violet to indigo over the expanse of large canvas. Kurt could see the North Star overhead against the night sky, the other stars around it dim in comparison.

"Can you tell me how he came out? He didn't want to tell me, but that-that would really help right now," he exhaled, not even realizing that he was holding his breath.

Mrs. Devon sighed. "I guess I should. He was too young, his peers didn't understand. His parents...they still don't seem to grasp it. It even took me awhile to adjust. The kids at his public school, however, were cruel to him. He began to suffer academically, so we put him into a private school. He's much happier there; there are actually quite a few homosexuals at the school. It's really a great environment. The only thing I've noticed is, he doesn't really have a best friend there. That's where you come in," Kurt saw her smile, crow's feet forming by the outer corners of her eyes. "I've never seen Bl- I mean, him, "she recovered quickly, "this happy for a long time. So I wanted to thank you so, so much for that.

"Anyway, my grandson now means the world to me. I let him into the library after we close, and he just reads and writes with this goofy smile on his face and this twinkle in his eyes," she laughed, turning onto the block before the hospital.

Kurt laughed with her, still feeling a bit light-headed from nearly finding BDA's name out. Or was it from the blood loss? Still, he felt a sense of security from BDA's sad story, knowing that he was not alone in suffering, however he felt even worse for his friend because even his parents didn't really accept him. Burt accepted his son's proclamation with no big production, even claiming that he already knew Kurt was gay. Kurt couldn't help but feel jealous of BDA for going to such an accepting school, but the feeling was washed away with compassion and complete appreciation for BDA in considering Kurt his best friend. A small voice nagged him in the back of his mind, there's got to be more to this, but Kurt ignored it.

_That's why I've never seen him_, Kurt thought as Mrs. Devon pulled into the emergency room parking lot, snagging a spot pretty close to the front. She parked the car and checked her large canvas bag, making sure that she had everything with her.

"Why don't you put the Book in my bag?" She asked Kurt, who was still holding onto it and turning the pages absentmindedly, waiting for her to finish checking. He handed it to her and got out of the car, feeling anxiety set in.

"You should also call your dad and tell him that we're here," she said as they walked towards the entrance. Kurt silently too out his phone from his pocket and unlocked it, going to the dialer. His fingers shook as he tried to type in Burt's phone number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, we just got here...Dad, I'm scared," he said quietly.

"Don't worry, kid, you'll be okay. I should be there in twenty minutes. You'll be fine."

"I could be worse," Kurt let out a nervous laugh, thinking of Burt after his heart attack.

"Don't joke about that!" Burt said sternly, but then sighed. "Sorry, I'm just a little stressed...I'll see you soon, okay? Hang in there. Love you."

"You too." He hung up, looking around the waiting room. To his pleasant surprise, it wasn't as packed as he expected it to be, however, there were still a lot of people waiting to be helped. The ER itself was not too great, considering that the "rooms" consisted of closed curtains. The hospital was renovating, according to a sign above the check-in, which explained the crudeness of the section.

"I'm going to check you in, why don't you take a seat?" Mrs. Devon suddenly appeared next to him, handing him _The Magician's Nephew_ to read while he waited. Kurt nodded vigorously, subconsciously running his left index finger up and down his right forearm as he sat down in a chair as close as he could get to the check in. His arm was tender, but not bleeding anymore. Kurt tried to keep it elevated, holding _The Magician's Nephew_in his good hand. It was as good as he'd remembered, and slowly began to feel himself fall into the story.

That was something that Kurt loved about books so much. He could be in a hospital full of screaming babies and moaning people, but still find himself in England, with two children and magic rings. Even with the glee club now in his life, he knew that nothing could take precedence over his infatuation with books.

Mrs. Devon came back and sat down next to Kurt, holding a clip board in her hands.

"You need to fill out this form. I don't think you should write until the doctor sees you, so I'm going to need you to help me. I think I'm going to need your name, unfortunately. Don't worry, I won't tell him."

"Okay. Kurt Hummel." She wrote it down with little reaction, just a genuine smile. He continued to give her his information. Kurt knew that he could trust her with it-he just hoped that she wouldn't slip like she almost did with BDA's name.

"Okay, there are a couple of things your dad needs to do, we'll wait for him."

"He should be here in about five more minutes." Kurt replied, checking his watch. He then picked his book back up and started reading again.

"You look like him too, when you read," Mrs. Devon said, breaking the silence between them (the hospital was still alive with loud beeps and shouts of pain), "not how you're in the most ridiculous position with your arm up and such, just how you look when you read, like your body is but an empty shell, and the rest of your being is in the book. You must love reading as much as he does."

"Yeah," Kurt said, feeling himself blush. It was strange how Mrs. Devon watched him, but this observation was interesting to Kurt. He wondered how they'd interact if they ever met each other.

Suddenly he saw a figure rushing towards him out of the corner of his eye.

"Kurt! How are you feeling?" Burt stopped in front of him, at first going in for a hug but then realizing that wasn't the best thing to do to someone with a crippled arm. He stared at his son with worry, his eyes latching onto Kurt's injury.

"I'm okay, Dad. Just glad that you're here," Kurt said, his eyesight blurring slightly. Why am I crying?

"Hello, you must be Mr. Hummel? I'm Mrs. Devon, Bl- I mean, BDA's grandmother," she extended her hand to Burt, who gave her a confused look while shaking it.

Crap. "Uh, Mrs, Devon? My dad doesn't exactly, um..." His voice trailed off, hoping that he wouldn't have to explain further.

"Oh, right. Well, never mind. I just noticed that your son looked very disheveled at the library, and decided to check in on him. That cut looks a little nasty, so I just wanted to make sure that it got proper medical attention. I just need you to fill out some of your information on this packet."

"Thank you so much. Thank you." Burt sputtered, and took the clipboard from her, sitting down next to Kurt. As Kurt watched his father fill out the paper work, he realized why he was crying. His dad meant the world to him, and having him there after such an awful event was just too much for Kurt to bear. He watched Burt as he finished up filling all of the blank spots, his heart swelling with appreciation for his father.

"Okay, I've finished," Burt exclaimed after a couple of minutes. Mrs. Devon got up, and Burt followed suit.

"We have to hand this in. Hopefully this won't take much longer," Mrs. Devon said, and they left. Kurt stared down at the book in front of him. He was almost done (it was a pretty short picture book, and Kurt was a very fast reader), so he reached over into Mrs. Devon's large handbag, where he found the Book sticking out. He took it, opening to the most recent entry and starting where he had left off.

_I don't know what we should read next; I think that an older book is what we need. I love the classics, you can't go wrong with reading them. We do need to read a "chick-flick" book as well (NO NICHOLAS SPARKS PLEASE), but I'm not feeling it right now. Maybe _Lord of the Rings_ and _The Hobbit_?_

Fun fact: I am the size of a hobbit. See, you learn new things every day.

Oh, congratulations on getting that A- on your English paper about Romanticism poems. I love Longfellow, he was great. That reminds me, we should really get some Poe in here too. I know he wrote poems and short stories, but damn, his writing is fantastic. Yes, I know that he was a little messed up with the whole opium abuse thing and marrying his 13 year old cousin, but did he have a way with words!

Changing the subject, I thought of you today in my English class because we were peer editing, and my partner started one of his sentences with "But". I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the period; I suggested that he get a book about grammar, since he also had a bunch of other mistakes ("a lot" is TWO WORDS, not one! You're a junior, for God's sake!), but he didn't reply with the same sass you did.

I think that we should start a little tradition, with this being our third week. Wow, how the time has flown. Anyway, I think we should write inspirational quotes at the end of these notes...I don't know, I just think it's cute, and a fun thing to do.

I use the term "inspirational" loosely, but I am going to start with one:

"There's always something to smile about. Always." -Joey Richter.

His name seems vaguely familiar...oh well. I just saw it somewhere, and thought it might be relevant. Can't wait to "talk" to you soon!  
-BDA

"Hummel, Kurt?" A female voice called out. Kurt picked up his head, his lips curled into a smile. BDA had no idea how relevant it was.

* * *

"That was not fun," Kurt said two hours later. He was sitting up in his hospital bed, with curtains enclosing him, Burt, and Mrs. Devon. He examined his arm, which had been wrapped up over his cut that had required twenty-eight stitches. It was still numb from the shot, and he couldn't get the image of the doctor and the stitching instrument out of his head. He wasn't allowed to write for a week, nor shower for two days, and in two weeks he'd get the stitches out.

"No, it wasn't fun watching. Now do you want to tell me what really happened? I know you were lying when you told him you 'fell'," Burt made quotation marks with his fingers, "you may be a good actor, but I know you too well, Kurt Hummel."

Kurt sighed; his father did have a right to know. He hoped that he'd have the strength to recount what had taken place. Then, he got an idea.

"Mrs. Devon? Can you get out the Book and write all of this down?" _Might as well kill two birds with one shot_, he thought. Mrs. Devon nodded and took it out, preparing a new page.

"What-"

"Let me explain first," Kurt cut him off, and launched into his story.

"-so I walked to the library, because I figured that I could send time reading and helping out...someone with this project we started three weeks ago."

"Let me interrupt, please," Burt said, stopping Kurt before he could explain the Book Project. "These kids threw you in the dumpster?! That's why you smell like crap and your clothes are so disgusting? Also, you skimmed over what Karfosky did, what did he do to you?" Burt had this look on his face that Kurt had only seen once before-when his mother passed away.

"Karfosky..." Kurt could hardly say it, but he knew that he needed to. It still seemed so surreal, like an awful nightmare that one just can't divulge. Out of nowhere, however, Kurt found the words tumbling out of his mouth.

"Karfosky kissed me. He corned me and kissed me, and then I kicked him and tried to escape and he beat the crap out of me." Kurt said, somehow feeling relief and worry at the same time. While he was glad to finally say the words, he was worried about how his dad would receive them.

Just as he suspected, Burt's face turned red. "He-he kissed you?! Why?" he exclaimed.

"I don't know," Kurt suddenly realized. "He kind of called me the only gay kid at school, emphasizing on the only...oh God," Kurt said. "I wonder..."

"Kurt, I...I don't know what to say," Burt said, stammering a little. Kurt knew that Burt was a little uncomfortable with his son's orientation, and probably even more uncomfortable with hearing about Kurt's, for lack of a better term, interactions in _that_way. He'd never really talked to Kurt about those sorts of things.

"You know what? We'll figure this out later, what action we should take. First, I just want to make sure that you're feeling okay." Burt said, walking over and lightly grabbing Kurt's good hand.

"I'm okay. I should have expected things like this to happen. This is kind of how BDA was treated too, right?" Kurt turned to Mrs. Devon, who said yes.

"Now would you mind telling me who this BDA is, and that project thing you mentioned? I hope it's appropriate," Burt said, exasperated. Kurt laughed at the crazy idea.

"When I go to the library, I don't just…read. A few weeks ago I found this Book, a journal with summaries and reviews about a bunch of books. I just decided to write back to the guy who it belonged to, and then we started collaborating. Except I wanted to stay anonymous, my name being KH and his BDA. We're really good friends now, I guess." Kurt ended, shrugging his shoulders. He realized just how odd their friendship was. To him, though, it didn't matter-they still had a strong bond, no matter how strange the foundation was.

"That's interesting...hmm. You don't even know this kid's name, or age?" Burt asked.

"Not the name, but don't worry, he's seventeen, just a year younger than me. Mrs. Devon can vouch for that, I just found out today that she's his grandmother," Kurt smiled at her.

"Yes, I am! My grandson talks about your son all of the time. Kurt is wonderful to him. He has quite a few homosexual friends at his private school, but none like Kurt."

A nurse came in through the curtains. "Okay, Kurt has been discharged. You're free to go." She left as quickly as she came.

Burt squeezed Kurt's hand lightly, and got up, taking Kurt's bag, which Mrs. Devon had gone to retrieve from her car. "Ready to go, kid?"

"Yeah." Kurt swung his legs over the side of the hospital bed he'd been lying in for hours, gently placing his hands on either side of him. He stepped down, cautiously placing both legs on the ground. He stood there for a second, and then walked by his dad's side. They were joined by Mrs. Devon, and left the room together, arm in arm.

* * *

A/N: This is the longest chapter yet, wow! Sorry it took me so long, school was brutal this week.

I based Kurt's visit to the hospital after my own experiences; I went to the ER once after I fell on my backbone badly at a soccer tournament, and they were renovating the ER, so I was just separated by curtains. I also got ACL reconstruction surgery in September, so I know how much stitches suck.

Thanks for reading, I'll try to update ASAP!

P.S. I love love love Joey Richter!


	9. Chapter 9

Kurt woke up, immediately sitting up in his bed. A sharp pain shot up his arm; he rubbed it gently as he turned to his clock. It was 8:30; he was late to school! As he sprinted over to his closet to pick out an outfit, Kurt saw a note stuck to the door knob.

**_Kurt-  
Go back to sleep. I called in and told them you were sick. Don't worry, I'm staying home from work too. I just want to spend the day with my son.  
-Dad_**

Kurt groaned in relief, dragging himself back to his bed. He bounced back on his bed, crawling under the warm sheets and digging his head into his pillow. As he closed his eyes, however, all he saw was Karfosky coming at him like a shark, his face closing in on Kurt's-

_No!_ Kurt's mind protested, but the damage was done: Kurt was reliving the moment he never wanted to think about again. He could feel Karfosky's rough lips on his again, attacking them with an unsuppressed fervor that Kurt could hardly handle. He could feel his hands pinning his arms on the locker, his warm, disgusting breath on his cheek...

_That was my first kiss_, Kurt realized, opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling. It was definitely not how he had expected it to go. He never thought he'd receive it unwillingly, from a boy who endlessly harassed and bullied him. It made Kurt feel nauseous, having to live the rest of his life carrying that burden.

_Why did Karfosky kiss me?_ Kurt wondered, bringing his hands up to his chest. _Is he gay?_

_What other explanation can there be? Why would a straight guy kiss me!_ Kurt reasoned. _He must be in the closet._ Kurt couldn't believe it, but he actually began to feel bad for Karfosky.

_If he wants to come out, it's up to him_, Kurt thought abrubtly, and turned over, trying to fall back asleep. After five minutes of trying, he gave up: his mind just wouldn't shut up.

* * *

"Morning, Kurt," Burt called out from behind a newspaper. Kurt walked into the kitchen; his father was already sitting at the table. "I got bagels, is that alright?"

"Well, they're not the healthiest, but they'll do," Kurt replied, taking the seat across from him. He grabbed a bagel from a plate in the middle of the table, taking a small bite. He wasn't that hungry after the thoughts he was having earlier.

"So, how do you feel?" Burt queried, setting the paper down.

"Fine. Pretty good. It's a little sore, but I'm okay." He looked down at his bagel. It was a little white lie; Burt was only asking about his physical state, not his actual emotions...

"If you need an aspirin or something, they're over there on the counter, next to the stove." They sat in silence for a while; Burt read the paper while Kurt looked down at his bagel.

"Tell me, Kurt," Burt's low voice broke the quiet; he didn't even look up from the newspaper.

"Tell you what?" Kurt asked, but he had a small feeling that he knew what Burt was going to ask.

"Have these sort of things happened to you before? Just...people treating you awfully because you're...different."

"Sometimes," Kurt mumbled. "It's nothing I can't deal with, though," he recovered quickly, "except for this one incident-"

"Small incident?! You call this a small incident?!" Burt raged, poking his red face from out behind the newspaper.

"No, no, Dad, calm down. A woman was acting a bit homophobic at the mall when I went with Rachel a few weeks ago, but it's no big deal-"

"Yes, it is a big deal." Burt sighed, setting the newspaper down to look at his son. "Kurt, I knew that this would be difficult, this whole…situation. I never thought that it would land you in the hospital, or that it would cause a scene at the mall or whatever…my point is, I never wanted you to get hurt, but you did. You kept it inside, too, all of this hurt, I know you did. I thought you would tell me everything after you came out, but evidently, you are just keeping more secrets. And did you think that I'd be okay with you conversing with a _stranger_, BGA or whatever? He could be forty years old for all we know!"

"Dad, you heard Mrs. Devon! We can trust her. I trust him, BDA, as well. He's the only person that understands me…you don't. I love you so much, and you mean the world to me…but with these kinds of things, I just can't talk to you about them. I know that it was wrong of me to not talk to you about the mall and the bullying and BDA. I'm sorry about that." Kurt put as much enthusiasm as he could in his apology. He knew that he hurt his dad badly, and it killed him to see Burt upset.

"It's okay, Kurt, I do understand. I know that we're not exactly going to understand each other, but I still love you. Now, what do you want to do about this whole…fiasco?"

Kurt was silent; he began subconsciously picking apart his bagel. "I don't know. I'm not sure if he's going to do it again. I can deal with the occasional shove, which is what I normally get."

"I don't think this is just going to go away, Kurt. I think we need to actually do something about this-"

The phone began to ring; Kurt sprang up to get it. He walked over to the counter, where the phone was blaring, and picked up.

"Hello, you've reached the Hummels, Kurt speaking," he answered.

"Hey, Kurt, this is Ms. Pillsbury" _Oh crap_, Kurt thought, _ohcrapohcrapohcrap_. "Can I speak with your parents?"

"Well, my mom is dead, but you can talk to my dad," Kurt said dryly. He could hardly hear her apologies as he passed the phone to his father. "It's the school," he told Burt.

"Hello, this is Burt Hummel. Okay, he's not sick…oh, oh my God. So all of my tax dollars for those video cameras did come to good use!" _That's right_, Kurt thought. They had installed cameras at McKinley over the summer. "Yes…yes, he actually had to go to the hospital, that's partially why he isn't at school…yes…okay, how about in an hour, is that good? All right, great. Thanks so much. Bye." Burt hung up the phone, rubbing his face with his hands for a few seconds. "Kurt, go get dressed. We're leaving in forty minutes. Apparently they got nearly everything on video."

"Everything?" Kurt couldn't seem to find his voice. '_I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill you_,' Karfosky's voice repeated in Kurt's head; he trembled for a second. Finally, he gathered enough strength to rise up from his seat and dragged himself to the top of the staircase to his room.

"Kurt," Burt called out. Kurt turned around; Burt was reading the paper again. "It's going to be okay."

Kurt felt his eyes begin to water, his stomach churning painfully. Burt didn't even know half of it, but Kurt still felt a little better from his father's words. Burt was not the most articulate father, but that one sentence was the only thing Kurt could hold on to at that point.

Suddenly, Kurt felt his phone buzz in the pocket of his pajamas. He had a text message from an unknown contact; he opened it:

_I know I'm kind of breaking the rules by doing this, but last night my grandmother told me what happened._

_It's going to be okay. It can only get better from here._

_"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" –Albus Dumbledore (I know that's not really from the book, but it's relevant)_

_-BDA_

* * *

__A/N: I know this was pretty short; it's been a crazy week for me...I'm sorry that it took so long for me to update. This is kind of "part 1" of chapter 9...I hope you liked it!

Also, that's the last text Kurt is going to get from "BDA"...for a while, at least :)

Remember that you can follow me on tumblr, where I have all of UNT and I also have another fic, "Next Door Neighbors" (M). My url is championisjustatitle :)


	10. Chapter 10

**BDA-**

**My dad is letting me stay here for a few hours after we met with the school half an hour ago (it's only been thirty minutes? Wow, it feels like a lifetime), which I'll tell you about in a little. First order of business is the books, because that's what this project is about.**

**I only read up to ****_The Horse and His Boy_****. I'm feeling that we need to do something different...you know what we need? Horror. I think one Stephen King book will suffice...the first one I saw was ****_Carrie_****, which I'm reading right now. It's really weird.**

**Okay, now to the "juicy" part that I'm sure you've been waiting for. I bet you skimmed over what I wrote before for this!**

**Our school had cameras installed a year ago. A lot of schools have them now; ours are just in the halls. They did capture what happened yesterday, though.**

**I thought that they never looked at the surveillance videos or whatever, but apparently one of the janitors saw blood around the dumpster (ew ew ew ew) so they looked at the video and saw everything. Everything.**

**I wasn't planning on going to school today, but we got a call from my guidance counselor and my dad and I went. At first we just talked to the principal and guidance counselor in the office. I told them everything that happened; what was the point of lying when they already saw it? I also told them that he threatened to kill me ("skin me", ugh). I didn't even mean to; I just kind of blurted it out. My dad almost exploded; I didn't tell him that detail yesterday. I didn't tell anyone. I know I should have, but I feel like that would have given my dad another heart attack (I'm surprised it didn't).**

**Then they brought K in, the one who really did all of this stuff to me (I'm going to call him K for privacy, blah blah blah). The other kids had immediately admitted to throwing me in, but they didn't say anything about K. I guess they were trying to protect him, or they didn't want to get their butts kicked by him later if they ratted him out. Probably the latter.**

**Apparently he had made a visit to the office before I went, and told a bit of a different story. He said that I forced him to kiss me. After the principal explained this, K's dad came in and we all watched the video. Well, I didn't, considering that I've been reliving it for hours-it's always in the back of my mind-and when I stole a glance at K, he wasn't either. He was just staring at the ground, still as a stone. I couldn't stop shaking, since I could see it out of my peripheral vision.**

**K's dad was surprisingly really cooperative with mine and the principal, saying that he was very sorry about all of this, and that he noticed a bad change in his son. My dad thanked him for it, but said he really wanted an apology from K. K shook his head a little bit. There was an awkward silence, and of course I had to say, "I don't want an apology, I just want to know why you kissed me," or something along those lines. In that moment he looked up at me and stared deeply into my eyes. It was weird, but his were filled with so much hurt and confusion that I felt a little bit of sympathy for the kid. I don't think anyone else really saw. He then shook his head and said "I didn't do it, he made me." I didn't even know what to say, and I still don't.**

**Then the principal said that he's suspended for three weeks, and they're going to go to the Board with his case to see if he deserves expulsion. He said that no one else mentioned the death threat, but that he would take my word for it because it's a serious accusation. I doubt that they're going to expel a star football player (just kidding, I hear that we're horrible [I couldn't care less about sports] but still, everyone cares about football). I think it should be okay; I hope he's going to leave me alone when he comes back. I'm not too sure though. They're also keeping this confidential; I'm not sure if that's going to really happen, or if there's going to be something like in ****_Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_**** when everyone reads the ****_Quibbler_**** when it was banned.**

**That was that. The principal said I could stay in school for the rest of the day, but my dad opted out. He said that he was hoping for expulsion, and that he was very disappointed in their action. So then he took me here and went to talk to your grandmother.**

**It's weird, being in the center of a scandal (I know that's not the right word, but it sounds important). Which reminds me, I'm writing this with my left hand, in case you were wondering. When I was little, I was obsessed with how people would train left-handed people to write with their right hand because it was improper to write with the left or that's how devil-worshipers wrote or something. Thus, I decided to try it myself. I know it's hardly legible, I'm sorry...I'm getting out of doing some work for this (amazingly), so I'm not going to tell them this little secret. It'll stay between you and me...**

**I also wanted to thank you for the text you sent me this morning. I was so shocked that I couldn't bring myself to text you back, and from everything that has happened today, I haven't found the time. While it was really nice (and kind of weird because you basically said the same stuff my dad was telling me before I got it, which is not a bad thing, it's really sweet), I don't know if I want to text-yet. I don't want to be a disappointment; I'm much better at writing long paragraphs than sending short messages, not to mention that I rarely text in the first place. I'm afraid that I'd forget to reply or something. I'm sure that I'm a better pen-pal than text-pal. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, I know I sound stupid. Still, I loved it. You definitely made my day a little brighter!**

**I guess that's it. I can't really think of anything else to say. I'll be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day...**

**Seriously, thank you for everything. I can't say it enough. Here's an inspirational quote: "We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken". You should remember that quote…John Green, ****_Looking for Alaska_****.**

**Love, KH**

**PS. Just out of curiosity, and I hope this doesn't sound too weird-have you ever kissed anyone before?**

* * *

A/N: I've been wanting to use this format for awhile, when it's just Kurt's note, and I felt that it was appropriate for this chapter. What did you think? I know it was really short.

Also, I've gotten a question about how Blaine's middle name is Devon, and his grandmother's last name is also Devon-I don't know how common this is, but sometimes parents' make their child's middle name the mother's maiden name. For example, both of my brothers' middle names are Harrison, which is my mom's maiden name. Just to clear that up for anyone who was confused...I meant it to be a hint :)


	11. Chapter 11

"Oh my God, Kurt, are you okay?!" Rachel shouted as he walked into the choir room on Monday, his arm still wrapped in a long bandage. She rushed up to him and gave him a hug, nearly knocking him and his new backpack down. It had been a long day, even though the teachers were a little easier on him. He got even more strange looks in the hall from the state of his arm. _Why must all of my long sleeves in the laundry_…

"_What happened_?" He could hear the whispers flowing throughout the room like river; he watched as the other members turned to each other, searching for answers. Evidently, the confidentiality the principal promised had been upheld.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Kurt said quietly, trying to walk past Rachel to his open seat next to Sam.

"C'mon, Kurt," she whined, stopping him as she grabbed his good arm. "Your secret is safe with me-I mean, the glee club"

"Rachel, if he doesn't want to talk about it, then don't make him," Mercedes piped up from the back. Kurt ducked his head, feeling embarrassed and grateful at the same time. Rachel sighed in defeat and marched up to her chair in the front next to Finn, who shifted uncomfortably in his own. Kurt finally made it to his seat in peace.

"Hey," Sam turned to him, concern written all over his face, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," he sighed, turning back to the front, where Mr. Schuester was entering the room. He didn't feel like talking anymore.

Again, he felt isolated from the rest of the group. It had been so nice, feeling like he fit in for once. Now, he didn't think he'd ever feel accepted again. Karfosky had ruined that for him. It didn't help that old members of the football team were there in that room with him, old friends of Karfosky and those two guys...Kurt felt himself shrink in his seat. He felt so small.

"Okay, guys...oh, welcome back, Kurt," Mr. Schue addressed him, nodding his head in Kurt's direction. Kurt wiggled his fingers back unenthusiastically. He suspected that he, along with the rest of his teachers, knew what really happened. "So, we'll start with a quick warm-up and break up into our singing-gram groups, and then do a song for regionals..."

* * *

After a long rehearsal, Kurt sank into his chair at the library. They were going to sell the singing grams throughout the week; Kurt had to sell during his lunch period all week, so it would be a bit difficult to fit his homework in along with going to the library after school. There didn't seem to be that much of an interest in the grams both by the glee club (excluding Rachel, of course). The club knew no one would buy, and no one had yet asked the glee club about the excessive flyers around the high school. Kurt suspected they'd all be vandalized and ripped up by the end of Tuesday.

He wished that he could ask BDA to buy one, but that would break the rules...the rules had been broken before, however, but Kurt was one who stuck to his promises.

"He only knows my phone number, nothing more," Kurt whispered to himself, opening the Book to BDA's last entry. Kurt had not deleted the text from BDA. He couldn't bring himself to. Every time he'd see it, even if he was breezing past it in his inbox, he'd feel a stupid smile creeping up on his face. He opened it up often, probably more often than what was considered healthy.

Kurt was embarrassed by his entry after the incident. He told BDA all of his personal secrets, things no one else knew except a few teachers sworn to secrecy and the students involved. He asked him a stupid, stupid question. He was even dumb enough to write "**Love**" before his name. Kurt didn't know what compelled him to end the note like that. He never wrote "love"-it seemed juvenile. He still hoped that BDA didn't really notice, because he didn't say anything about it in his own note.

BDA answered Kurt's inquiry, the one he hastily added without even thinking:

_Believe it or not, I have been kissed before...by a girl. It was a long time ago, though, and it's what made me truly realize that I'm gay._

It was a short, honest answer, and frankly, it was kind of weird talking to BDA about these sorts of things. He never talked about kissing or boys before-he suspected that Burt didn't want to, and didn't want to put him through that awkwardness. Kurt himself didn't really like talking about it, it was just...uncomfortable.

_Now that I've had it done to me, I should be able to talk about it_, he thought a few nights prior in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

_That one doesn't count_, he answered back. He then pushed the topic to the back of his mind, where it always was lying dormant, and fell asleep.

"I think it's time to face this issue," Kurt muttered to himself as he got up from his chair, going to grab a new book. He had one in mind, and he hoped BDA wouldn't kill him.

**So I've decided that we should read a Nicholas Sparks book, considering that we've never done romance before (no, ****_Twilight_****doesn't count). I've never read anything like this, so here goes nothing.**

I've heard of

**_The Notebook_**** and ****_Dear John_**** a thousand times, but never really ****_A Walk To Remember_****. Hopefully you've read this before so you know what to expect.**

I liked your quote from Emerson, he's a pretty cool guy. Here's one: "Wherever you go, go with your heart"-Confucius. I know it's corny, but it's a good one if I do say so myself.  
-KH  
P.S I don't think I'll be able to finish the book because I have so much homework-thankfully I don't have to write, but my teachers expect me to type with one hand. I know, it's ridiculous! Well, I'm off to read the first chapter and then do French.

**_Au revior_****!**

* * *

"Hey, Kurt!" Sam looked up from the table he was sitting at in the cafeteria, a big holiday decoration-ridden poster in front of him reading "Glee Club Holiday Singing Grams! 1 for $1! " He spied a few gold stars scattered about the sign—_Rachel_, he thought, shaking his head. Kurt took the empty seat beside him; Santana was on his other side, filing her nails.

"Hi, Sam," he replied quietly. He checked the metal, black box for the money in front of him. Aside from a couple of paper clips and a rubber band, it was empty. "Lots of revenue, huh?" He joked, chuckling a little. Sam turned to him with a confused look on his face, his large mouth frowning. Santana let out a great sigh and put her nail file into her bag, retrieving mascara as she removed her hand.

"I'm kidding," Kurt said quietly, sitting back in his chair and crossing his legs. Sam still looked puzzled. _Oh, he probably doesn't know what that word means_, Kurt realized, feeling stupid. Kurt had heard of Sam's difficulties in the classroom. He turned to Santana, daring to make conversation with her-well, it was more that he himself was befuddled. "Don't you need a mirror with that?"

"Since when did you think you were entitled to talk to me," she replied, her voice monotone. She did not even glance at him. _That's right, most people don't like me_, Kurt remembered bitterly, and he sat back in his chair, looking straight ahead.

"I'm kidding, pretty boy," she said after a few minutes of silence, placing her mascara back in her bag. "You may be the only boy I don't make out with at this school, but whatever." She looked out at the sea of students in the cafeteria, all sitting safely within their groups of friends. Suddenly, Santana jumped up on to the table.

_"¡Ay, pendejos! Compren los boletos o voy a patear sus culos!_Buy these singing grams, we sing pretty damn good, it's only a couple of dollars! Hey, you can even embarrass your friends with us, buy one for them, I don't know! Just do it!" She jumped back off with a smug look on her face as everyone stared at her. Some even got up from their chairs and walked over, green crinkling in their hands.

Kurt didn't know what the Spanish meant (he suspected it was bad), but he did know she made an awful grammar mistake.

"It's 'well'", he said quietly as he handed out the slips of paper for the small, growing crowd of his peers to fill out.

"What?" Santana smiled up at a boy and winked, handing him his change. He fumbled with it and turned away.

"You said that we sing 'pretty damn good'. It's 'well', not 'good'."

"Whatever, pretty boy. Or should I call you grammar Nazi? Nah, I like pretty boy," she said, licking her lips as a girl gave her a harsh look. "Anyway, I'm still waiting for a thank you, look at all of these grams we've sold!"

"We've only sold…uh, five," Sam counted the miniscule pile in front of him.

"You mean seven," Kurt gesticulated towards the two incoming slips from two giggling girls in front of him. "Who are we going to be singing to, ladies?" he asked kindly, trying to be social.

"Uh, our boyfriends," the curly-haired one replied uncomfortably. Wow, she really needs to invest in a new conditioner, Kurt commented in his head, her intonation hurting him.

"They're going to be so embarrassed! I mean, getting sung to by the glee club…" the blonde next to her rolled her eyes. Kurt knew she was some hot-shot sophomore.

"Listen up, _idiotas_," Santana butted in, her voice oozing with attitude. "The glee club is way cooler than you'll ever be. I could tell the whole school that you were crying in the bathroom after you accidently went to class with your skirt tucked into your underwear, but I don't know…" The girl's eyes were as large as soccer balls. "Now hand me the money, and I don't want to hear you insult this club again." They paid quickly and left, both whispering furiously to each other.

"Wow, Santana, you're the epitome of sass," Kurt said in awe.

Santana turned to him, staring into his eyes for a second and then kissing him straight on the lips. She forced her tongue into his mouth; he just sat there with his hands by his sides, not knowing what to do. She tasted like cherry cough medicine, her lip gloss gluing their lips together. After a few uncomfortable seconds, she unlatched herself from him.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself," she turned back to the money, organizing the bills. "That was exactly the response I was looking for. Now I can say that I've made out with everyone at school, too." Kurt sat there, stunned. _Second kiss, a girl?!_ He thought, feeling even a little frustrated. _Can't I get properly kissed?_

"Hey, what about me?" Sam queried, whining a little.

"I don't kiss fish, Sam. You've got a trouty mouth, so no-can-do. I can refer you to a plastic surgeon, he could fix that up."

The rest of the period passed in little talk, as more people came to the table to buy grams. It was an amazing turn out by glee club standards. Even some teachers bought a few, asking the club to sing in their classes.

A few minutes before the bell, as Kurt, Sam, and Santana packed up the money to bring to the choir room, Kurt saw a few people in the corner of the cafeteria gather around the sound system. A man Kurt recognized to be the student activities advisor took the microphone.

"Hey kids, we've just confirmed an assembly during third period for all juniors and seniors, and fourth period for freshmen and sophomores next Wednesday! That's right, next Wednesday! Be prepared to get enlightened about the benefits of reading! Remember that on Friday we have the first basketball game of the season, home, so come out and support the team! Thank you and have a nice day!"

Kurt stumbled, reaching his hands out onto the table for support. He stood there until his legs stabilized, or at least until he could somewhat walk properly, for they still felt as if they consisted of jelly. Could it be…?

_The benefits of reading_.

"Hey Kurt, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost," Sam turned to face Kurt.

"Okay. Yes, I'm…okay." Kurt breathed in, trying to calm down. _It's probably not what you think, don't worry about it._

Of course, it was all Kurt could think about for the rest of the day. He did not, however, mention it at all when writing to BDA. He didn't want to make assumptions, he needed to_ know_.

Kurt knew he would not be able to function properly for at least a week.

* * *

A/N: Over 100 follows?! WOW! Thank you, seriously, from the bottom of my heart. I've already started the next chapter, and maybe there'll be a nice surprise around Valentine's Day... :) Again, please review!


	12. Chapter 12

"Next week, we're going to an assembly during this time, so I'm pushing the due date for the research paper back a day, a.k.a _el martes_," everyone in Kurt's AP American Lit class groaned the next day. Kurt would have guessed that _martes_ meant Tuesday by process of elimination (his English teacher had a strange, contradictory habit of occasionally throwing in some Spanish into her speeches), but he could hardly think. His left leg bounced up and down, up and down, rapidly drumming against the bottom of his desk. He cracked his long fingers sporadically, something he did when he was nervous. _Oh please, can we just move on...  
_  
"What is it even about? Is it some kind of drug prevention lecture? I thought we already had that in October," someone called out. His teacher, Ms. Lieding, ducked her head, laughing a bit at the comment. Thankfully, she was a pretty "chill" person, as she liked to describe herself, despite teaching one of the hardest classes Kurt had ever taken.

"No, not really. It's actually related to literature. This isn't a typical assembly, I'll tell you that. Okay, a high school student from a school nearby is doing it. Oops, everyone raise your right hand and place your left on your textbook, and repeat after me," Kurt did as he was instructed, his hands shaking convulsively. "'I swear on my English textbook that I will not tell anyone else the information Ms. Lieding divulged to us because it was supposed to be top secret.'" Kurt whispered the promise, looking down at the floor as he listened to the giggling voices around him. "Okay, okay, I'm done, you can open to page 394...yes, I'm serious right now…"

_This is it_, Kurt thought, his suspicions confirmed. _I'm finally going to see him_.

* * *

In all honesty, Kurt was confused. He didn't know why BDA didn't tell him that he was "done" with the project-he never really knew what the true purpose of the project really was. All Kurt had known was that "big things were happening"...he wondered how he'd use the twenty-three books they read.

Maybe he wanted it to be a surprise, he considered as he walked to the library. Still, he wanted confirmation; he wanted to know exactly what was going on. He wanted to know how BDA was able to organize an assembly in such a short time. He wanted to know if he'd mention his "partner" in it. Kurt decided, however, that he would not directly ask BDA about it; he wanted to see if his friend would actually tell him anything about it. As he thought about the project more and more, he realized that he couldn't remember when they last talked about the true purpose of the Book.

Kurt fastened his scarf around his neck a little tighter, the frigid air biting at his bare skin. As he returned his numb fingers to the pockets of his new coat, he could feel them drying up as they rubbed against the insides. He could feel his cut stinging in response to the cold and the sudden movement.

His arm hardly bothered him anymore; he took off the bandage the night before, examining his injury-it wasn't as gross as he expected it to be. He just wanted to be able to use it again. Writing with his left hand was so tedious.

Kurt looked up at the trees surrounding him as he speed-walked, noticing that they were missing most of their leaves. Their bare branches reached out towards the sky, black and brown harshly cutting through the cloudy gray. Kurt realized how empty the scenery looked without the trees' foliage covering them, and just how expansive the sky was without being concealed by them.

As Kurt reflected on this, he felt a small, cold wetness begin to sting random places on his bare skin: it had started to snow. He hadn't checked the weather that morning, and hadn't expected winter to come this quickly. His shoes weren't exactly the greatest in this condition-he half-jogged to the library as the snow became a flurry. Since he was already relatively close, he made it to the facility rather quickly. _ I wish I had a car_ became his mantra as he ran.

Thankfully, Kurt was able to finish _A Walk to Remember_ (he only had a couple of chapters left when he had to go home the day before), but just barely from all of the tears streaming from his eyes. It had to be one of the saddest books he'd ever read. A good one, although it tore his heart to shreds. It was completely different than nearly anything that he'd read before, but it was absolutely amazing.

He wiped his eyes as he shut the book, returning it to the shelf. While he was tempted to pick up all of the other ones by Nicholas Sparks, he resisted, choosing the book that BDA had picked out, _Of Mice and Men _by John Steinbeck. BDA had not been too happy with Kurt when he saw his choice:

**Are you serious right now? Nicholas Sparks?! I thought we agreed on not reading his work! You better bring me chocolate and a box of tissues, because I am going to be a puddle of emotions. I've read it before; that doesn't mean it gets easier to read! I hate you so much.**

Just kidding. I really love this book. I also love this next book that we should read, **_Of Mice and Men_****. I didn't like it too much when I first started reading it, but the end is just heartbreaking.**

I hope your arm is doing okay. I hope you're alright, too, after everything that happened. I'm thinking of you.

**Finally, of course, the quote:**

**"…it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." –Marilyn Monroe**

**-BDA**

Kurt picked up the book, which was lying on the table; it was short, a little over 100 pages. _This shouldn't be too bad_, he thought, and began to read.

* * *

The week dragged on; time seemed to pass by so slowly in all of Kurt's classes. By Friday, he, Sam, and Santana had made $258 total, the most out of the three other lunch periods. All of the money they made, however, was more than enough for the bus to Regionals.

"Do you guys want to get varsity jackets?" Mrs. Schuester asked one day in rehearsals. _Varsity jackets, for people who sing and dance?_ Kurt wondered. It seemed kind of stupid. Glee club wasn't even a sport. Everyone else seemed to be on the same page as Kurt.

"Mr. Schue, do you want us to be mocked even more than we are now? Varsity jackets are for jocks, not for the glee club," Mercedes shouted about above the racket the rest of the club was making.

"Guys, we perform at competitions, and it requires physical ability to do what we do. I think we deserve the jackets. Can we have a big gold star on the back, Mr. Schue?" Rachel asked, blatantly keen on the idea. "Finn, do you think you can maybe toss the football one and get a glee jacket? You can probably get a football pin, or..." Finn looked very uncomfortable.

"There's only one varsity jacket I'm wearing, and that's for the Cheerios, a legitimate team," Quinn countered. The other members of the Cheerios nodded.

"Coach Sylvester said that if I ever showed too much support for glee club, she'd tell Santa that I deserve coal for Christmas. She said that he's her great-uncle," Brittany added, receiving some strange looks from the rest of the club.

"Whoah, no need to attack me, guys. You know, back when I was in glee club, we were the coolest kids in school: we were like royalty. We all got top-notch jackets. It was just an idea, okay? I'll look into the pricing. Also, to answer your question, Rachel…no." Mr. Schue cleared his throat; Kurt could tell that he was hurt by the club's rejection (Rachel's opinion didn't count). "So, let's start practicing for the singing grams and figure out who's going to do what, we've got a lot to plan before when we perform them on Thursday and Friday next week…"

* * *

Kurt walked into the library; Mrs. Devon was nowhere to be found, and it looked like the library was deserted. He assumed that the librarians were working somewhere within. He headed towards the teen room, excitement building in his chest. He had discussed _Of Mice and Men_ the day before, which Kurt actually enjoyed, much to his own surprise. He was planning on choosing a completely random book for them to read, one to catch BDA completely off-guard.

As he walked towards his corner, the excitement plummeted all the way down into his stomach, turning into dread. The table was completely bare.

Kurt rushed up to it, examining the area. He slipped his hands into the cushions of the chair: nothing. Something snapped deep within him—Kurt sprinted over to the bookshelves, looking for Steinbeck, John. He found the copy of _Of Mice and Men_…but nothing blue was in sight.

Without even thinking, he began feverishly searching through the bookcases, from Aabad to Zuth. He craned his neck to look through the top shelf, and crouched down to search the bottom. The blue Book was nowhere to be found-something must have happened to it. He felt tears begin gather in his eyes as he dragged himself back to his corner, overwhelmed.

He slumped down into the chair, staring out at the room in front of him. It was filled with happiness, with sadness, with triumph and defeat, all scrawled out in ink on hundreds of thousands of pages. All he could feel inside, however, was emptiness.

_It is truly amazing how many different emotions can be portrayed, how many feelings one can experience, yet at the same time, one can feel nothing at all_, he thought.

He sat there, completely still, feeling the numbness slowly being siphoned away and replaced with something else. His eyesight began to blur, his nose burning. He felt his lips quiver as a few warm, salty tears fell on his cheeks, trailing down to his jawline. More and more tears spilled down onto his cheeks until he could hardly breathe.

Kurt pulled his knees up into his chest, rocking himself in the chair. His head hurt, his throat hurt, every part of his body ached. Whether he was crying for an actual purpose or just for the sake of crying, he didn't know. He didn't even want to know. All he knew what that there was something clutching at his heart, wringing and stretching it painfully. It was one of the worst feelings he'd experienced in his entire life.

He stayed in that position for a long time, letting the tears flow into the small pillow he was grasping from the chair. At last, they began to slow down—Kurt breathed in shakily, trying to compose himself. He fetched a tissue from his backpack and wiped his face, knowing that he couldn't do anything about how red and blotchy his cheeks were.

_Why am I crying over this? It's just a book, and I'm going to see BDA, the manifestation of the Book, on Wednesday,_ Kurt thought, his stomach lurching, _I shouldn't be that upset_. It was silly to cry over something that he'd be hearing about the next week, finally seeing who BDA really was.

He did have every right to be upset, he realized after a few minutes of remaining in the chair, sniffling and rubbing his eyes excessively. The Book had become a part of his life. It was the best part of his day, what he looked forward to right after he woke up every morning. He counted down the hours until he would finally get out of the hell-hole called "school" and rush to the library, just to scribble what he thought about a book, but more importantly to write to BDA. The Book was the only medium of communication he was willing to use with BDA. It made him feel important, like he was a part of something, like he was someone's friend.

Kurt couldn't help but think of Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." It was such an awfully pessimistic statement, but Kurt reflected on how it related to his life. His mother died when he was young, he was completely rejected for his sexual orientation, and now he felt like he had lost his best friend. It had been too good to be true, and now it was all gone.

* * *

"What's wrong, Kurt?" Burt asked his son as they ate dinner together. Kurt was toying with his pizza, pushing it around his plate with his fork (he insisted on eating his pizza with a fork and knife).

"Murphy's Law," he replied glumly. "' Anything that can go wrong will go wrong'", Kurt recited for Burt, who hadn't recognized the technical term but knew exactly what Kurt was talking about when he explained it.

"Are you sure that's wrong?"

"No, no," Kurt said, "the problem is that it's exactly right." He explained what had happened at the library earlier that day.

"Oh, Kurt," his father sighed. _The poor kid_, Burt thought. They sat in silence while Burt tried to think of a way to steer Kurt's way of thought.

"Kurt, I think you need to have a different perspective about this. BDA has to do the assembly on Wednesday, right? He needs the Book. Now, I don't know if he's going to continue this…communication after he finishes with whatever he's doing regarding the project. Let me tell you this, though: I don't think that you're never going to hear from him again after this. When you found that Book, it wasn't just a coincidence. I don't believe in coincidences, kid. There had to be a reason. So, I don't think you should be too concerned about this. Maybe it was meant to be just a short thing. Maybe this will go farther. I think it's the latter, since everything indicates that this isn't the end. All that you have to think is, did this change me? Did this have an effect on my life? Based on what I've seen, I'd say the answer is yes.

"Kurt, despite everything bad that's happened within the past few weeks, I've seen a change in you. You seem happier, just so much happier. I was so…proud of you for joining glee club. Yes, it's not the most masculine thing, and it's definitely not what I imagined for you, but I didn't know that I'd have a gay son. Regardless, I know that it was a big step for you to join the club. You've always been on the introverted side, and now you're beginning to break out of your shell. If I were you, I'd be happy."

Kurt considered Burt's speech. Maybe he _was_ thinking about it the wrong way. While the words were soothing, he still couldn't drown out that painful ache in his heart.

"Thanks, Dad. That really helped."

"Anytime, kid."

* * *

A/N: I know, quick update, right? I've already started the next two chapters, so get excited! They've been so much fun to write, too, so I hope you'll enjoy them. This one was sad, I know-his "breakdown" was more a combination of all of the bad things that have happened to him rather than just not finding the Book.

Also, yesterday an idea for a one-shot just popped into my mind. It's completely different than this-it's called "At Last" (no, it's not based on the song), and it's about Blaine's return from war after over a year of being away from Kurt. It's really short, under 3,000 words. You can find it on my page :)


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I know you guys have been really excited for this, and I have been too! I've had it planned out ever since I started writing this, so I hope you like it!

* * *

Kurt walked up to the front of William McKinley High School, feeling the mass of students around him rush inside as he stared up at the school. He stopped in the middle of the crowd, the wind whipping at his coat.

Today was the day.

It wasn't exactly dread that he was feeling...his emotions were an infinite amount of strings tied tightly around his heart, lodging it into his throat. He could hear it beating in his ears.

Kurt had not visited the library since Friday. He couldn't bring himself to; he saw no point in going—he knew that the Book wouldn't be there. That had become his sole motivation for going to the library. However, as he stood in that same spot, it hit him that that day was their one-month anniversary of communication.

So much had happened in just one month. The incident at the mall, joining glee club, his first kiss, his first (and hopefully last) time getting beaten up, his second kiss...and he could relate all of those events back to BDA. Kurt thought about what his father said on Friday night. He was completely right-BDA had changed his life in a positive way. Despite all of those awful events, those setbacks, he got through them. He had new friends, who he was starting to become comfortable with, he had supporters, and he knew that he had grown as a person. These experiences could only help him cultivate into a better, stronger man.

"Kurt, what are you doing?" Kurt turned to see Brittany walk up to him, giving him an inquisitive look.

"Just thinking…"

"I don't like thinking too much, it hurts my head," she stated. "It hurt when I converted the temperature from Celsius to Fahrenheit this morning. I accidentally set my phone to Celsius and I can't figure out how to get it back. It's really cold out, 2 degrees Celsius and 36 degrees Fahrenheit, so I'm going to go inside. I hope Santana can figure it out. Bye." She walked inside, leaving Kurt to his thoughts.

Brittany was an enigma that Kurt was sure he'd never be able to figure out. However, he did agree with her that it was frigid outside, so he followed her into the building.

Students were lined up against the lockers of the hallway, with cliques of girls chatting, guys laughing and playing around, and the occasional couple getting in their morning make-out session. Kurt hurried along to his locker, which was all the way down at the junction between the A wing and the B wing. He saw a large cluster of girls standing in the general location of his locker-_must be Whatever-Her-Name-Is's birthday_, he thought bitterly as he trudged on. The same group had been decorating her locker after school the previous day, completely disregarding the fact that Kurt was there trying to gather his things. Sometimes he was really glad that he wasn't into girls.

After saying "excuse me" multiple times, with anger building up inside after each one, the girls finally inched away, allowing Kurt access to his locker. He took a few calming breaths as he opened it, taking off his coat and hanging it up inside. Luckily, the group decided to leave as Kurt began exchanging his books. It was good that they left, since Kurt was on the brink of yelling at them to shut up about how cute Whatever-Her-Name-Is is with her boyfriend.

"Oh, no," Kurt groaned as he noticed that his French binder was lying on the bottom of his locker. He'd forgotten to take it home to do the paragraph Madame Luisant assigned that night. "_Je suis très bête, pourquoi est-ce que j'ai oublié_," he muttered to himself. _I guess I'll do it during the assembly, since I know exactly what BDA is going to say_, he thought with his teeth clenched, grabbing the binder.

"Excuse me?" A low voice he didn't recognize said from behind him. Kurt started, slowly turning around. He felt the air in his lungs dissolve as he beheld the boy in front of him. _Wow._

He stood there with his hands wrapped around the messenger bag lying across his chest, which sunk into the small indentation between his pecs. He was looking up at Kurt, since he was a few inches shorter than him. The boy was wearing a white button-down shirt tucked into a pair of navy pants; the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, exposing toned forearms. Kurt's gaze floated back up to the boy's neck, where a bright red bowtie sat in the collar. He spent the most time, however, examining the boy's face.

It was framed by raven-colored curls, tamed with a coat of gel that shined in the artificial light of the hallway. His lips were curved into a kind, genuine smile; they looked soft, possibly due to the visible hint of lip balm on them. His cheeks were smooth and clean-shaven. Kurt finally locked his eyes with the boy's, which sat under a pair of thick, triangular eyebrows.

Long, gossamer eyelashes bordered the most gorgeous eyes Kurt had ever seen. They were a stunning hazel, even closer to gold than green or brown. How was it possible for eyes to be even more golden than the element itself? They blazed with a fascinating fire. Kurt could feel himself start to fall into the black depths of his pupils, never to be found again. He hardly managed to tear his gaze away from the stranger's—he felt blood rush up into his face, coloring his neck and cheeks with a bright rosy blush that could compete with the boy's bow tie.

"Y-yes?" Kurt stammered. _Focus, Kurt, calm down_, his mind chided. He unconsciously clutched his binder close to his chest. He glanced back up at the boy's eyes. They were still absolutely radiant, almost too much for Kurt to handle.

"I'm new here. If it isn't too much trouble, would you show me where the main office is?" The stranger asked. Kurt felt his eyes widen a little. "My name's Blaine," he added, his smile growing even larger. Kurt felt himself melt a little.

"Kurt," he suddenly piped up, remembering his manners: he extended a trembling, sweaty hand. Blaine took it, shaking it slowly and firmly. His hand was soft and warm and fit perfectly in Kurt's. Kurt felt his whole arm go limp. He let go as quickly as he grabbed his hand, much to Kurt's disappointment.

"It's just down the hallway, I'll show you," Kurt said, shutting his locker. He hoisted his backpack onto his back, feeling Blaine's eyes on him as he began to lead him along. Kurt wished that Blaine would stop looking at him; it only caused his cheeks to flare even more furiously. Blaine fell in step next to him; Kurt could feel the boy's hands accidentally (it _had_ to be accidental) brush against his thighs, sending electric sparks from where the contact took place. Kurt quickened his pace; Blaine only followed like a dog at his owner's side.

"Here it is." Kurt said as they reached the office. "And there's a bathroom right next to it, just in case you need to, you know..." He babbled on, wincing slightly as he listened to his own words. _Word vomit at its finest_.

"Good to know. Thank you so much, Kurt. Please, though, don't start your sentences with 'and'," Blaine winked and opened the door to the office, disappearing behind it.

Kurt stumbled towards the nearest wall, trying to steady himself. Every muscle within his body had liquefied, his brain trying to wrap around what had just happened. He could feel his heart thumping rapidly against his ribcage, faster than it had ever thumped in his entire life. He heard Blaine's voice again, saying "I'm new here", and then saw BDA's handwriting flash before him: _On an unrelated note, never start a sentence with "and"_...

Blaine.

_BDA._

The breath-taking boy he'd just met...he just talked to-it was him. It had to be him. _It was him!_

Kurt sank against the wall, his head hurtling towards the stratosphere, towards the moon, all the way towards Andromeda, the galaxy next to the Milky Way. Kurt forgot about everything that had taken place that weekend regarding the Book, all of his thoughts focused on the physical manifestation of his pen-pal. There was no way someone could be that damn _perfect_. He couldn't possibly be that attractive, that smart, that kind...and there was no way he could make Kurt's knees wobble that easily.

_Blaine._

The bell rang, interrupting his thoughts for the few seconds that it sounded off, urging him to his first class. His mind then continued to replay their meeting multiple times. Every time he closed his eyes, he kept seeing Blaine smiling in front of him, his eyes staring deep into his eyes, his soul. His voice floated through his ears again and again; he spoke just as eloquently as he wrote. He still felt the ghost of Blaine's fingertips at his side, which was still buzzing with his touch.

He strode into his Chemistry classroom just in time; the second bell beginning first period sounded off as he took his seat. As his teacher began to put the PowerPoint for a lesson on moles (no, not the animal), Kurt bowed his head into his moist palms. He rubbed his face vigorously, trying to wipe away all of the thoughts of BDA-no, _Blaine_-from his mind, all of the images that persistently popped up. They refused to stop, and Kurt knew that, in all honesty, he didn't want them to. He felt a large, ridiculous smile plastered on his face underneath his palms.

_What is wrong with me_!? Kurt wondered, detaching his hands from his face in defeat. He could still feel his lips curled into that dumb smile.

Then, Kurt realized. He felt the smile disappear.

_He doesn't know that it's me. He doesn't know who I am._

* * *

_Dear Journal (even though you aren't really one...why am I referring to an inanimate object as "you"...this salutation is too long; I'm going to stop),_  
_  
It's been a long time since I've written to something like this. I feel like an eight year old girl. Actually, I feel nervous._

I'm going to present "The Book Project" for the first time to people I don't know. On Friday I spoke about it at Dalton, which went pretty well. All of them know me, though, and I'm well aware that my rock-star status entices them (I sound so self-involved, I hate this). This is completely different, since it's a public high school. I don't know how they're going to react to this. I can't believe that I have to do this at three other schools as well within the next two weeks. (Although I am lucky that I'm getting out of a lot of school and work for this—why my teachers aren't forcing me to make up all of this work I'm missing, I don't know. I'm not complaining, though…)

I'm worried that I'm going to mess up. I'm worried that they're not going to pay attention to me. I'm worried that my message won't get across.

I wish I could talk to KH. I wonder if he hates me now, considering what I did. He doesn't know that I had to, and not exactly for the reason he may think.

He's probably fine right now. I wonder if he goes to this school...I don't want to seek him out. He doesn't want to seek me out, so I'm not going to try.

However, there was this one boy that I met when I first got here, and...wow._ All I'm going to say regarding this issue is this: I hope I don't find him in the crowd today, because then I might lose my train of thought._

I thought that writing down my feelings would help the butterflies calm down, but they're still a flutter in my stomach. Oh well. I'll try my hardest, and therefore no one should criticize me. Ha.

_ Until next time...Journal._

* * *

A/N: So, what did you think? I'm not too happy with the writing...but I hope you liked how they met!

I've already started on the next chapter, although I don't really know how it's going to go. I've been having some trouble with how I want to continue this story, but I think I'm on to something...let's just say that it's related to _The Fault in Our Stars_, which I have FINALLY gotten around to reading!

Finally, AHDHSALHDFSALDFL GLEE! So excited for the episode tonight; I wanted to post this chapter before it aired because I'm sure I'm going to be an absolute mess afterwards.


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey Kurt! Over here!" Kurt watched Rachel wave emphatically from her chair as he walked down an aisle of the auditorium. She was sitting with the rest of the glee club only three rows from the front. There was an empty seat between her and Mercedes towards the end of the row. He rushed up and began shimmying his way past the other members of the club, who greeted him with a few "hey"s. He slumped down into his seat, facing the front and waiting anxiously.

"I wonder what this is going to be about!" Rachel exclaimed to no one in particular. Kurt decided to ignore her as he focused on his own nerves. Principal Figgins was in the front of the auditorium, speaking with someone he'd never seen before. A microphone stood in front of them.

"Still keeping Ms. Lieding's promise until the end?" Mercedes said lowly in his ear. Kurt turned to her.

"Oh yeah, you're in that class with me," he blurted out. She sat on the other side of the room.

"Yeah, and you never talk. I'm sure that you have valuable things to say, so speak up. We're singing for them tomorrow, anyway; she bought a gram during my lunch period and said that she wanted to hear my renowned vocal runs," Mercedes pushed her hair over her shoulders. "I don't know how much I could do during 'Sleigh Ride'! Anyway, she'll finally hear your voice!" She laughed.

"I participate!" Kurt insisted. "You're too busy checking out that guy in front of you to pay attention."

Mercedes laughed again and raised her hands up in defeat. "Guilty as charged," she said. Kurt smiled with her.

The small talk died, and Kurt turned back to the front, his hands gripping at his knees. How would BD-_Blaine_-go about presenting their opinions? How would he incorporate the books? What if-Kurt rubbed his hands up and down his thighs-what if Blaine mentioned that he worked with someone?

The microphone screeched, tearing Kurt from his thoughts and burning his ears. Principal Figgins was standing by the stand, tapping the microphone furiously.

"Testing, testing? Can you hear me?" He practically shouted, enunciating each word. When he realized that everyone was covering their ears from the volume, he lowered his voice. "Okay. Good morning everyone. We have a very special event for you today. First, I want to inform you that disrespect will not be tolerated, and that we expect that you pay attention at all times. Now I will read the introduction.

"From Westerville, Ohio, our presenter has always harbored an infatuation for written word. He taught himself how to read at a very young age, and it quickly became one of his favorite hobbies aside from performing and bow-tie shopping," Principal Figgins stopped for a second, confusion written all over his face from what he just said. He shook his head and continued: "Now he wishes to share his love for books with the rest of you, since everything is now focused on technology and so on. Without any further ado, put your hands together for Mr. Blaine Anderson!"

Kurt watched as the boy he saw earlier appeared from the right wing of the stage, hopping onto the ground from the edge and striding to the microphone. He looked the same as before, just a tad bit jittery. Kurt, however, still could not get over how absolutely stunning he looked. There were a few sporadic claps; everyone seemed confused.

"Hot damn, I wasn't expecting a _cute_ nerd," Kurt heard Mercedes mutter under her breath. All Kurt could think about, was Blaine's full name, which had finally been revealed to him. It all fit together. _B_, Blaine; _D_, possibly Devon; _A_, Anderson.

"Yo, what's going on? I thought we were going to have an old dude or something," Puck yelled, earning a few laughs. Kurt watched as Blaine looked up from what he was holding in his hands—the Book!—and grinned at Puck. He leaned over the microphone.

"I realize this is a little different, yes. I am, in fact, Blaine Anderson, and I'm a junior at Dalton Academy. I was instructed not to tell you that last bit, but I might as well, since a book isn't interesting if you know nothing about the main character. A book also is not interesting without a story or conflict, so I guess I'll give you some background about me, something that makes me different than everyone else.

"When I was younger, I wasn't accepted by people at my school simply for my different tastes. I was bullied, ignored, friendless, and eventually, I got beaten up. I transferred to Dalton because the public school just wasn't right for me.

"You may think that I got bullied for being a nerd or whatever. No. That's not the case. I was bullied because I'm gay." Kurt could feel all of the eyes belonging to the members of the glee club on him; he ignored them and continued to keep his eyes glued on Blaine. He became as still as a statue. "Just as girls have a different taste in clothing, or guys support different football teams, I have a different taste in gender from what is defined as "the norm". Even though I accepted who I was, no one else could, so I left. However, I'm not going to make this presentation a sob story, and I don't want any of your pity. I didn't wallow in my sorrow, either, when my life was at its lowest point. I did something about it. The way that I dealt with this pain, this misery I was experiencing, was through books.

"I don't want to make this about not doing drugs, or spending endless hours doing mindless stuff on the Internet, or watching television all of the time, etc. etc. etc., but honestly, there are so many other ways to deal with life than to use stuff that harms your body. I'm not going to use any statistics or numbers, because frankly I can't remember any (and you'd all forget them within the next few minutes, I can assure you), but last time I checked, reading is a lot healthier than all of those things. Just think about it. Yes, books may cause an expensive addiction if you like buying them, but that's what libraries are for," Blaine paused for a second, a warm smile on his face as if he was remembering a good memory. Kurt smiled as well; he knew exactly what Blaine was thinking about. The whole room was silent; hanging on to Blaine's every word. "As I was saying, I guess the point of this whole presentation is to revive reading.

"Some of you may be thinking, 'Well yeah, I read texts and Facebook postings all the time!' Let's be serious here. There's no plot or true meaning behind 'Procrastinating on insert-teacher's-name's essay'. You just gained some simple, unnecessary information from someone you've probably talked to once or twice in your life. Books aren't like that. They're…" He stopped.

"_'Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light'_" Blaine began speaking again. Kurt felt his heart stop for a second. He knew that quote all too well.

"Oh," he muttered under his breath.

"I'm sure a few of you recognized that quote, however, it's not from the book, but rather the movie _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_. The book is definitely better than the movie, at least in my opinion…nevertheless, it's definitely a quote worthy of Albus Dumbledore, one of the greatest figures in literature. Now I feel it is appropriate to mention that I was not alone in this project. The person who worked on this with me truly is the manifestation of this quote.

"My friend," Kurt could feel himself shaking in his seat, "has been going through a pretty rough time. By some miracle, he found this Book," Blaine held up the blue Book Kurt had held countless times before, "and decided to write to me." Blaine flipped it open to one of the first pages. "'**Tag your spoilers, please!' **Charming, right? Those were his first words to me. I would have never guessed that underneath those words, he was going through such a rough time in his life, as I learned while we continued to communicate. However, he was able to 'turn on the light', despite all of the countless setbacks he faced. Do you know what helped him? Books."

_You, more than anything, though_, Kurt thought, feeling his heart begin to swell at Blaine's thoughtful words.

"He found an escape through them. He shared his opinions about them. Through these criticisms, I could just tell how much these books touched him. When you read a really good book, it's not just a one-time experience: it becomes a part of you. It stays engrained in your heart forever. They teach you not only about the general plot, characters, and so on, but about life lessons. They enhance your emotions. They enhance your being.

"My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, is a true inspiration to me. He got right back up when he was knocked down (literally), and continued to be himself. He found a way to deal with these problems, not through doing stuff like taking drugs, but by experiencing an even better 'high' by reading. I think he's incredibly brave. Honestly, when is the last time you read a book on your own? Not for school, just because you wanted to." He paused, allowing everyone to reflect on this. Kurt was staring into his lap, trying as hard as he could to blink back the tears that Blaine had brought from within him. _True inspiration_…_incredibly brave_….it was all too much.

"Exactly. Now here is my challenge to you: I'm quite sure that most of you probably zoned out during this, or fell asleep, or tried to finish some homework, and so on, but I want to make sure that my message somewhat gets across. Although I hate how I have to do this, I need to give you a little incentive to go through with this contest." Kurt watched as a few heads perked up at the word "contest".

"I challenge all of you to read a book. One book, that's all I ask. After you read it, I want you to write about it. No, I do not want an essay. Please, for the love of God, don't send me an essay. I have school work to do too, you know, being a student like you. Just three sentences will suffice: I need evidence that you actually read the book, and then I want at least one sentence about how you felt about it, how it relates to your life, and so on. Scratch out what I said before; if you need to explain how it made you felt or whatever in a whole essay, go ahead. I understand.

"If I just left it at that, I'm sure that I'd maybe get a few papers back. Again, however, I meant for this whole project to be a revival movement. Whoever writes the 'best' review, i.e., they give evidence that they read the book and give a truly moving response about how the book affect them, will get a prize, which I will explain in a second. I don't need it to be super wordy or cerebral, you just need to get your point across to me, so I know that you understand what I mean by the fact that books reach into you and augment your thinking.

"Now for the prize: you will win a night with me. By 'night', I mean that if you like football, I'll take you out to the next Buckeyes game (which I conveniently have really good seats for). If you like a whole 'girl's night out' thing, I'm all for it; I can pay for dinner and everything. If you like being serenaded, I can bust a tune-"

"Oh really? Sure you can," Puck called out. From what Kurt could tell, serenading "the ladies" was his thing, and only his thing.

"Alright, uh, let's see… '_You think I'm pretty without any make-up on_,'" Blaine sang in perfect pitch. Puck did not reply. Kurt felt himself melt a little. His voice was better than any sound he'd ever heard. "Okay, I think you get the point. So basically, I'll be back in a month to announce who's the winner—in the meantime, I'm going to put a box in the local library for you to put your submissions in. I go there every day, so…yeah. I know this must have been pretty boring, and I'm sure you don't really care about what I have to say, but honestly, you need to go experience it for yourself. If I get one of you, just one of you to go pick up a book by yourself, I would be over the moon. Just knowing that this impacted one of you would mean the world to me, and yourself. You will escape your life and become engaged in something completely new and different, whether it's a different world or a small town in New Jersey or whatever. I don't even care if you read _Twilight_. Just try something new. As my good friend quoted from Marilyn Monroe, '**…it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring'. **Step out of your comfort zone, try something new. Thank you, and have a nice day." Kurt clapped along with the other students, with more enthusiasm than their mechanical, customary intentions. He watched Blaine shake the hands of the principal and the superintendent, and then walk up the stairs to the stage. He took one last look into the crowd; Kurt could have sworn that his eyes stayed glued onto Kurt for a second. Blaine Anderson then vanished from Kurt's view.

"C'mon, Kurt, let's get to class." Mercedes said, standing up—Principal Figgins had begun to dismiss everyone from the auditorium.

"Wait a second," a hand wound around his right wrist. Kurt looked up into the wide eyes of Rachel Berry. "Was that who I think it was?"

Kurt felt his own eyes widen. He told her, and she remembered! She remembered right in front of the rest of the glee club.

"It was! It was! That's whatever his name was! You were the friend he was talking about! Oh my God, that's so cute! You two totally need to get together. If he was into girls, well, I'd've already claimed him as my own, but then again, I have Finn," she giggled, "Mercedes, you have to know about this!"

"Know about what?" Mercedes asked.

_Oh no_, Kurt thought.

* * *

A/N: What did you think? Let me know!

You have no idea how loud I screamed at last week's episode. Can't wait until Glee comes back, if you know what I mean!

Shout out to snowlivvys, who noticed a lot of sentences that start with "and" in _The Order of the Phoenix, _haha! I love it when I get messages from you; you all are way too nice :) xx


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I just realized that I haven't done a disclaimer yet!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters (aside from Mrs. Devon, I think).**

Okay, hope you enjoy Chapter 15!

* * *

"Bye, Dad, I'm going to Rachel's," Kurt called out to his father, who was watching TV in the other room. Kurt saw Mercedes pull up in front of his house—she was his ride to the holiday party for the glee club at Rachel's house.

"Alright, but be home by midnight, not a minute after. Have fun!" Kurt said "bye" again and adjusted his coat before leaving the house. A frigid gust of wind carrying a few snowflakes welcomed him as he walked up to Mercedes's car.

"Ugh, I hope I get a car this Christmas," Kurt commented as he got into the passenger seat.

"What, you don't like going with me? We've never even hung out before, Kurt," Mercedes said as she pulled away with a hint of mock-hurt in her voice. "I'm kidding, Kurt!" she laughed, and then cut him off before he could tell her that he already knew: "So, are you ready for all of the gossip that's going to go down about you and Blaine?"

Kurt sank into his chair, letting out an exasperated groan. "Why did Rachel have to go and tell everyone? It's stupid; there's nothing going on between us. We're just friends, and he didn't even know it was me when we met!"

"Wait, you two actually met?" Mercedes squealed. _Oops_. "Kurt, we have to get you two together. You have to win that contest! He's basically bringing whoever wins on a _date_. Knowing you, the ultimate over-achiever, I'll bet that you already started your entry."

"Actually, I haven't. I can't think of what to read, or what to write." He'd considered lying, just to keep her satisfied, but he wouldn't be able to fabricate a whole written summary about a book he didn't read, since she was bound to ask about it. He'd put a lot of thought into what he could do, but he just could not think of what book he could read, or re-read, and he didn't know what he wanted to write to Blaine—his writing style was bound to reveal his identity.

"You better think of something, or else I'm going to win, since I wouldn't mind going out with a boy like _that_," Mercedes laughed again as they pulled up into Rachel's driveway.

Rachel had decided to throw an impromptu party on Thursday, after they finished performing the singing grams for that day. "It's a perfect opportunity for us to talk about glee stuff without Mr. Schuester breathing down our necks, and for us to just…talk!" she had said. Everyone agreed to go, as far as Kurt knew, much to his surprise.

The two of them got out of the car and walked up to the front door of the house. Kurt tried to calm himself down: _they're not going to want to focus on me the whole time, right? That'd be stupid. I'm still new to the glee club, and some of them haven't even said two words to me._

"Hi, hi, hi! Come in; everyone's in the basement—you're just in time, because I'm going to sing!" Rachel bounced on the balls of her feet, clapping her hands together childishly. She turned around and led Mercedes and Kurt inside; Mercedes rolled her eyes at Rachel's back. Kurt could hardly suppress his laughter.

They walked down the stairs into Rachel's finished basement, which was actually really nice, and decorated with lots of paper snowflakes and holiday-related decorations in complete Rachel Berry-fashion. The rest of the glee club was sitting around the room, chatting with each other. There was a small stage in the front with a sole microphone. Mercedes walked up to Tina, who was sitting with Mike at the bar, leaving Kurt to awkwardly stand at the bottom of the staircase. Rachel bounded towards the microphone.

"Hey everyone, I'm so glad that you could come out! So first I'm going to sing, because I'm sure you all want to hear my beautiful voice, and then I'm going to bring down some food, and then we're going to play Twister-"

"I'm all down for Twister and food, but Rachel…you suck at parties." Puck called out. Everyone nodded their heads. "Let's just do whatever, okay? Put on some good music; I brought some booze," he flicked his head over to the cooler that Kurt was standing by.

"Oh yeah, and Kurt needs to tell us about that boy!" Tina piped up amidst all of the chatter that had exploded from the word "booze". Kurt felt his face flush. "How about we not do that," he muttered to himself.

Rachel seemed to give in; she turned to her iPod, which was plugged into a pair of speakers, and put on a song Kurt didn't recognize. She shook her head at Kurt as she walked past him and rushed up the stairs, obviously distressed at the immediate failure of her plans. Finn followed her up.

"Kurt! Get that cute butt over here and dance with me!" Mercedes called to him after a few minutes, while he awkwardly hung around on the outskirts of the group. Without a moment of hesitation, he obliged: after talking with her incessantly over the past few days (even though a majority of their conversations were about Blaine more recently), he had really taken a liking to her. Being a pretty awful dancer, he just swayed with the music and smiled as he took his place beside Mercedes and Tina.

"You guys want drinks?" Puck asked as he made his rounds, a pack of beers in either hand. Kurt shook his head, but Mercedes and Tina held out their hands. "You sure you don't want one, Kurt? It'd be nice to see you let loose for once, for you to get that large stick out from your-"

"NOAH!" Kurt heard Quinn shout. "Stop harassing him! God, you're such a jerk!" Puck's face softened at the blow; he handed Mercedes and Tina the cans and headed over in Quinn's direction. They ignored the incident and continued to dance, keeping the drinks in their hands.

Kurt looked around the room: Sam and Mike were busting some moves while Artie watched in the corner, Santana and Brittany were kissing on the couch, and Quinn and Puck were arguing at the bar. He watched as Rachel and Finn walked down the stairs, their arms full with bowls of chips and other snacks.

"So Kurt, you want to explain to us this little relationship you have going on?" Tina asked; Kurt snapped his head back to face her. _I am going to murder Rachel Berry_, he thought over and over again.

"First of all, we've never even met before. Well, we have, but…ugh, it's complicated." While he didn't want to talk about it, there was something urging him to go on. He never got to talk about these things with anyone; _now it's my chance_, a small voice encouraged him. "All right, all right, so I would go to the library after school today because I'm a nerd or whatever and I really like reading, okay? That's not really the point, well, it kind of is, but anyway…I found that book that he had with him one day and decided to write in it, and then he wrote back and it went on from there, obviously. We're just friends," he added quickly.

"Let's get real here, Kurt," Mercedes said, still dancing to the music, "I glanced at you a couple of times during his speech and you had this look on your face other than the usual 'get-me-out-of-here' thing you always have going on. You two need to meet up again!"

"Who wants to play truth or dare?" Santana shouted out of nowhere; she had broken away from Brittany and was standing on the couch. Everyone seemed eager to play; they all flocked towards her in the corner. Kurt rolled his eyes, since it was such a dumb, stereotypical game, but walked over to join them.

"Are you sure that you want to play this game? We could do something more fun; I have a Broadway trivia-"

"Rachel, can you do us all a favor, please?" Santana implored with a look of desperation on her face. "Shut up." Everyone laughed except for Finn, who took Rachel in his arms and comforted her as they circled up. "Okay, I know this is a stupid game, but it's one of those things you have to do at every party. Brittany, you can go first."

"Okay, um…Santana, I dare you to kiss me."

"That's not really how it works, but sure, even though that's all we've been doing since this thing started," Santana performed the dare, and then turned back to the group.

"Next…Quinn, truth or dare," Santana smirked at her. Quinn answered truth, and Santana responded right afterwards. "Who's the hottest guy in the room right now?"

"Oh come on, Santana, you really want me to cause problems?" Quinn sighed. "_I can't believe I agreed to go to this thing_," Kurt heard her add under her breath. She took a few minutes before answering the question. "In order to avoid as much conflict as possible, I'm going to say Kurt, who I'm going to move on to. Kurt, truth or dare?"

No one challenged Quinn's answer. Kurt, however, was stunned by her response. He wasn't sure if she meant it in a good or bad way, but accepted it regardless of its intention.

"Um, I'm kind of afraid of what you'll ask me to do regardless of whether it's a truth or dare, but I guess I'll go with truth," Kurt answered after he recovered. There were a few laughs.

"So I guess everyone would ask this if they were in my position, but …what happened with you and Karfosky?"

Kurt's mouth fell open. That was the last question he was expecting. He was sure that they would ask about Blaine; there was no reason to ask about anything else. "E-excuse me?" he stuttered. _They can't know, how do they know?_

"A little birdie told me that something happened, something related to why you weren't here last Friday," she said innocently. Everyone leaned in. "We were told not to talk about it in front of you. Now that Mr. Schue isn't here, we can ask whatever we want, so tell us. We won't tell anyone," everyone nodded. Kurt felt his face heat up. He wasn't too thrilled to divulge the information, but decided that he might as well. They were his friends, and they had a right to know.

"It was that curriculum day that we had, the half-day…I was at my locker and he went up to me and…he ki—he beat me up and threw me in the dumpster. It screwed up my arm, so that's why I had to wear that bandage and stuff." It wasn't the whole truth, but the truth nonetheless.

"You were saying something before, but then you changed it. What happened!?" Rachel interjected.

"He doesn't have to tell us if he doesn't want to," Tina cut in.

"I can't tell you. It's something Karfosky has to say. Now can we move on? Truth or dare, Rachel." _I'm going to let him come out; I may hate his guts, but he has a right to this secret_.

* * *

"Well that was an interesting night," Mercedes commented as she and Kurt left Rachel's house a few hours later. "It looked like Puck was having a _little_ too much fun with you in Twister," Kurt slapped her arm.

"He was drunk, Mercedes, it's no big deal. Did you even have a sip of that drink he gave you?"

"Nope, it was rebellious enough for me to just hold it, you know?" They got back into her car. "I'm so glad that you came, Kurt. I'm so glad that we're friends. You deserve this, you know? You're so great to be around. I feel so badly that everyone is so mean to you, and I'm sorry that I never reached out to you prior to when you joined the glee club." Mercedes leaned back into her seat, sighing a little. She still hadn't started the car. "You know when you witness something, when you see something happening, but you feel like you can only stand on the sidelines and watch, because you have no idea what to do?"

Something started to stir within Kurt. "Yeah," he said softly. He was slowly beginning to recognize that feeling.

"There's an opportunity to make a difference right in front of you, an opportunity to bring good not just to yourself, but to other people as well—but you don't know how to get there. There's someone waiting for you, but you don't know what to say to them."

"Yeah, I know," Kurt replied, a strange taste in his mouth. These words were so familiar to him.

"That's how I felt when I saw you getting shoved around all the time." Kurt was then pulled out of his reverie. "I saw you being put down again and again, but I didn't know how I could help you, because you'd still be back every day with that same look on your face, as if you were satisfied with your life. I knew how wrong it was, but it felt weird to interfere with someone's life that I knew nothing about except for one thing, one defining thing that made you so different than everyone else. Now, if anyone were to do anything to you, you know that I'd bust a cap on their ass, right?" Kurt let out a small laugh.

"Thanks, Mercedes, but really, it's not a big deal. I don't blame you. I needed to stand up for myself, too. It's okay now, since I know that a few people other than my dad have my back." He paused. "I don't want you getting in trouble for me, though, please promise me that!"

"All right, I promise," she grinned at him and turned on the car.

For the rest of the ride to Kurt's house, they sang along with the radio and discussed the song choices for regionals, but a nagging voice at the back of Kurt's mind continued to pester him, repeating Mercedes's words over and over again.

Once Kurt got home (a few minutes before midnight; Burt was satisfied with his return), he rushed up into his room and opened up a Word document on his laptop and began to type, keeping the most recent book that he'd read at his side.

* * *

A/N: Honestly, I am overwhelmed with the response to this story. All of the reviews are so, so nice! You guys are amazing, just in case no one has told you yet today :)

Also, I have a fic rec: Go check out "Model Behavior" by themuse19! xx


	16. Chapter 16

Kurt walked up the familiar steps, feeling as if he was returning home after a long journey. It was Friday; winter break had just begun. He held a few papers in his hands, papers that he printed out in a frenzy that morning from a Word document that had been waiting on his computer for a long time.

It wasn't that he'd forgotten about the contest, but rather the contrary. He was completely conflicted with what to do with it. Kurt didn't know whether he wanted to hand it in to him in person, to change every single thing that he'd written and hand in something normal, something not so revealing, or whether to not do it at all. These clashing thoughts plagued his mind day and night.

After staying up until 2 AM that morning thinking about it, Kurt decided that he'd go through with it and hand in what he'd originally written after Rachel's party. It wasn't like there was any time left to enter it, as that Friday was the last day.

From what he'd heard, quite a few people had participated. Everyone in the glee club did, and Mercedes and Tina assured him that they saw quite a few papers in the collection box at the library. His English teacher said that it counted for extra credit, so that was quite an incentive for everyone in their class.

It would be a quick stop at the library, since he needed to get back to rehearsals for glee club. He told them that he had to run a few "errands", and that it should take him a half an hour, which meant that he'd have to improve his speed-walking mile time a little bit. Kurt opened the doors and strode in, fully appreciating the heat that welcomed him.

Behind the desk in the front stood Mrs. Devon, who was chatting with a man whose back was turned to Kurt. Kurt looked left and right, searching for the box, but couldn't find it. It was nowhere to be seen; _did he already collect it_?

"Excuse me, Mrs. Devon?" Kurt walked up to her; she turned to him, a shocked expression on her face. "I was wondering if the collection box-"

The man next to her turned to him. It was Blaine with the box in his hands. Kurt felt every muscle within his body freeze. He opened his mouth for a second, and then closed it. Before Blaine or Mrs. Devon could say anything, he flung the entry into the box and rushed towards the doors.

He heard Blaine call out his name as he left the building, but it was drowned out in the sound of the drumming of his heart against his ribcage, pounding hard enough to shatter his bones.

* * *

"Kurt!" Blaine shouted at the boy. He set down the box on the counter as he watched Kurt practically run out of the building, feeling a sinking feeling in his chest. _Why did he look so scared when he saw me? _Blaine wondered. He turned to his grandmother, who had a forlorn look on her face. Then, something clicked in Blaine's mind.

"How does Kurt know you? He called you 'Mrs. Devon'," he asked her; she shook her head, looking down at the ground.

"I guess you're just going to have to read what he wrote to you," she sighed. There was a strange tone to her voice. Blaine contemplated her comment, and then walked to the room he was so familiar with.

His hands were shaking quite violently as he lifted Kurt's entry from the box after he sat himself down in the corner of the teen room. His mind was slowly becoming awakened to what his grandmother had implied, and was beginning to become aware of their connection to him and Kurt. He sat back in his chair and started to read, his eyes devouring the words on the multiple sheets of paper…

* * *

**Entry 25: ****_The Fault in Our Stars_**** by John Green**

**BDA-**

**Personal Note: I wanted to make this entry as inconspicuous as possible at first, where you would never be able to tell it was me and then I'd win and then you'd realize it was me and everything work out perfectly and I would never have written a run-on of this length if I wrote a different entry. Something changed last night, though. Now I know that I was meant to tell you this way.**

**Review: You know the deal with these books. We've done John Green before. This one, however, shook me in particular, as you can tell by these many pages (sorry, I think it'll be worth it, though). **

**I guess for my review, or summary, or whatever you'd like to call it, I'll just quote important and over-used quotes and explain how they affected me, for the sake of spoilers (yes, this is a spoiler-free review: you're welcome! I wasn't sure if you read this book or not. It's a crime if you haven't, so I suggest you change that). Here goes nothing…**

**And**** by now you should have figured out who I am… Oops.**

** "And then there are books…which you can't tell people about, books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like betrayal." **

**First of all, I know that the sentence broke a major rule, which I referenced above. This quote, however, is one that I can relate to myself. Before the Project, I was selfish. I kept all of these books, everything I was feeling and experiencing, ****_myself_****, inside. I couldn't tell anyone anything. I also felt like no one could understand me, like no one could comprehend why I love ****_Harry Potter_**** so much, or why I like boys, and so on. I guess I felt it was a betrayal to myself to reveal all of these things that I had to remain secretive—I was still evasive even after I let my biggest one out.**

**You, of course, changed that.**

**Now, onto another famous one: **

**"Pain deserves to be felt."**

**How I have truly understood that line this year. Not just the physical aspect of it, but the emotional one as well. When I couldn't find the Book in the library…Pain came back. It was a different kind of pain, one unrelated to getting kicked in the ribs having your arm sewn up—but even more painful than that. It stared me straight in the eyes, silently pleading for me to break, to shatter into a thousand pieces scattered around the floor and never to be put together again.**

**I have known Pain for so long, yet this I was exposed to its unfamiliar side. It was one that crept into my heart and plucked at its strings, desperately seeking out a tune that could not be completed…without you.**

**This is completely corny, I know, but it's one in the morning and you're all I can think about.**

**You're smart, I think you might understand this implication. I didn't understand myself until last night. I think I get it now, though, and I hope you will too, by the end of this, which I can hardly call an entry now.**

**What this year so far has taught me is "The world is not a wish granting factory." While the world is mostly made up of awful, awful people, there are some that you just happen upon that make up for it all. Then there is that one person...**

**So I guess what I'm trying to say is—oh, here is the perfect quote:**

**"It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you," Blaine.**

**I do believe that "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." I know that the memory of this exchange we had will be ingrained in my mind and heart for forever, but I don't want just the intangible to be infinity. I hope our...whatever you can describe our relationship as... belongs to the bigger category.**

**This is absolutely insane, with us only knowing of each other for over a month and not even properly meeting each other, and I feel this way. It's completely irrational, absurd, ludicrous, nonsensical, basically every synonym for "crazy." For some reason, though, it just seems so real. I kind of like it. **

**In the words of Augustus Waters, "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself—I needed to use it, even though it's so over-used; I hope you'll forgive me.**

**Well, I guess this is it. I'm sorry that this is so awfully written, since it's now 3 in the morning. I don't know what you're going to do with this, but can you do a favor for me? When you finish reading this paper, can you put it in the Book? I don't care if you glue these pages in, or tape in the torn pieces if you rip this up, or if you rewrite it in word for word. Just put it all in, even this part.**

**Okay?**

**^^ No. We're not going to do that.**

**Until Next Time,**

**-KH**

**PS. My last name is Hummel. You should remember my first—I hope you do.**

* * *

Blaine read the post-scripture again and again, his eyes crossing after the tenth re-read. He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to calm himself down. His cheeks were taut underneath his palms from the large smile on his face.

"He has no idea," Blaine said aloud to no one in particular, adding a small, nervous laugh at the end.

He looked at the multitude of other entries in the box, more than he'd ever expected from McKinley High School. He turned his head back to KH's—_Kurt's_—entry in front of him.

_I'll get through all of these entries and make a decision later, he thought, but first I need to read _The Fault in Our Stars_. Maybe I'll be able to understand Kurt even better after reading it; maybe it'll make the entry even better than it already is, which I don't see how that's possible. Kurt is just so _moving_…_

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews, and please keep them coming! You are all way too nice, did you know that? Hope you liked this chapter!


	17. Chapter 17

Kurt put the keys into the ignition of the new Pathfinder (well, it was new to him, considering that his dad fixed it up and gave it to him for Christmas) and backed out of the driveway, setting out to the grocery store in the hopes of getting a few last-minute New Year's decorations for cheap. His father had hinted that they were having some company (Kurt asked who it was, but Burt simply said that it was a surprise), so Kurt decided that they needed to spruce up the house a little for their guests. He was glad that he had his own car to go run these sorts of errands, and driving was an escape for him. It was a way for him to keep his mind busy, to take his mind off of things. More like one thing in particular…one Blaine Anderson.

It wasn't even like he_ tried _to think of Blaine. The little things would remind him of the boy who changed his life. Kurt even contemplated moving his bookshelf of his copies of _Harry Potter _so he couldn't see them anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He could hardly bring himself to not think of the stupid, stupid essay he sent to him. There were plenty of times where Kurt would find himself lying on his bed, remembering every sentence he typed up and thinking of how horrible they were.

_He's going to think I'm too clingy, that I'm quick to jump into a relationship, that I'm even more of a hopeless romantic than him_, Kurt thought most of the time as he considered what Blaine would think when he read the entry. For the most part, this was his usual train of thought regarding the matter, however at times he'd have a small burst of hope: _maybe he'll think it's really sweet, and be glad that he turned me into a hopeless romantic like what he claims to be himself._

_Maybe he feels the same way._

These thoughts were usually drowned by a sea of negativity, and Kurt would find himself back to square one: trying to ignore thoughts of Blaine completely.

Kurt tightened his grip on the steering wheel and continued to drive, losing himself in the long stretch of the road in front of him and the music that flowed through the car. His mind was blank as he turned onto Main Street, and finally found a good space in front of the grocery store. As if it was on cue, his phone sounded off after he parked the car. It was a text from Mercedes, asking if he wanted to stop at the Lima Bean one last time before the year ended. He quickly answered yes, that he'd be there by 2:30, and then exited his car, locking it as he entered the store.

* * *

It wasn't too hard to find what he needed, just a few bottles of sparkling cider, a cheesy "Happy New Year!" banner, some balloons, and some hats. Kurt wished that he could get something a little more elaborate, but he was on a tight budget, and he knew Burt wouldn't care for anything more—even the banner was a bit much.

Kurt strode through one of the aisles as he made his way to the cash register, and noticed that he was surrounded by magazines and books. He felt a small pang in his chest, but still examined them nonetheless. He did need a new book to read—most of them were just books that were recently made into movies, and ones that he had no interest in reading whatsoever, such as _Fifty Shades of Grey_. Suddenly he spied one out of the corner of his eye. It was rather small, but it definitely grabbed his attention. Once he read the title, he knew that he had to get it. It should have made him sad, but it didn't. He saw it more of a sign than anything else.

Kurt walked over to the check out with a little more spring in his step.

* * *

"Excuse me, I was here at 2:30 sharp; where were you two?" Kurt prompted Mercedes and Tina with a raised eyebrow as they took the empty seats across from him in the Lima Bean. He took a sip of his decaffeinated tea, awaiting an answer.

"I'm sorry that we were eight minutes late, Mr. Hummel, should I send a letter of apology?" Mercedes retorted sardonically. Tina looked genuinely concerned for a second, but then realized that they were kidding when they began laughing.

"No, no, it's quite all right," Kurt said, "but I'm just wondering, why did you invite me out to coffee?"

"Okay, can we stop this little 'oh, no one likes me, I have no friends' thing? It's getting old. Obviously we like you, Kurt," Tina said curtly, her eyebrows furrowed. She then softened her countenance. "I didn't mean it, Kurt, I'm sorry. I just don't see how you can think of yourself so lowly, that no one would want to hang out with you. Just accept that we're here for you and let's move on, okay?"

"Sure," Kurt said slowly, feeling himself jump over yet another hurdle. "Let's move on. What are your plans for tonight? My dad said that we're having some people over, which is a little different than usual, which is just the two of us. I guess that I won't be able to do my review of the biggest fashion hits and misses this year," he said glumly.

"I'm sure that whoever is coming will enjoy it, Kurt. I'm just chilling with the fam tonight. Some of my cousins from out of state are coming, so I'm looking forward to it." Mercedes smiled and drank some more of her Frappuccino.

"My boo Mike's coming over," Tina said, "We're probably going to talk about how fast this year went and how amazing it was."

"That's so cute! Good for you two," Kurt said brightly, folding his hands on the table. He accidentally knocked down the book that was on the edge of the table in the process. He felt his cheeks burn as he heard Mercedes say "I got this" and watched her lean down and retrieve the book.

"_A Collection of Shakespeare's Greatest Sonnets_? I thought we were in American Lit," Mercedes studied the book. Kurt could feel a rosy blush creeping up from his neck all the way up to his hairline. He held out his hand for the book, a silent plea for Mercedes to give it back to him.

"Ju-Just some light reading," he said quietly, hoping the moment would soon pass. Mercedes returned it to him without any more questions; he only saw Tina raise her eyebrows at both of them. He placed the book back in his lap, took a second to recompose himself, and brought his gaze back up to the two girls in front of him.

"So, now that that awkward moment is out of the way, what do you think was the greatest moment in fashion this past year?"

* * *

It was a 5:45 pm; Burt said that their company would be arriving at any time after 6. Kurt was finishing his moisturizing routine; his outfit for the night was waiting on his bed. He and Burt had already put up all of the decorations, and organized the house so it was welcoming and party-ready. While he was glad that his father was having company, a rare occurrence, Kurt was somewhat worried: Burt seemed rather nervous. This was a different side of Burt; Kurt decided that he was just worried about having more people over than just the two of them. He wondered who was coming. It didn't seem like a lot of people.

Once he finished the treatment, he didn't immediately put on his clothes for the night. He picked up the book sitting on his boudoir and began fingering through it. The table of contents instructed that he go to page twenty-one for the sonnet was looking for; he found it quickly and began to read:

_Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?_

_Thou art more lovely and more temperate_

_Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May…_

"So this is what he memorized," Kurt uttered under his breath. He finished the sonnet and then put down the book, reflecting on what he read as he changed into his clothes. It was a beautiful sonnet; it was no surprise that Blaine loved it so.

"Kurt! Can you help me with the hors-d'oeuvres? They're going to be here soon!" Burt called from upstairs. Kurt took one last look at himself in the mirror, as well as a final glance at the book, and then rushed up the stairs.

He found Burt struggling with getting a tray of pigs-in-a-blanket out from the oven; he was already holding another one in his left hand. Sighing, Kurt walked over and put on an oven mitt, taking a tray from his father and pouring the contents into one of the bowls that was sitting on the kitchen table. Burt expressed his gratitude as Kurt began taking the filled bowls to the dining room. As he was placing the food on the table, Kurt noticed some strange substances in the bowls.

"Dad, what are these?" he brought one of them back into the kitchen, where Burt was tidying up, and showed him the odd squares within.

"Oh, one of our guests is vegan, so I had to improvise," Burt said, his back to Kurt.

"Wait a second," Kurt replied, starting to feel very suspicious, "Rachel is a vegan…did you invite the glee club? Wait, that wouldn't make any sense, because I saw Tina and Mercedes a while ago and they had different plans," before Burt could respond, the doorbell rang.

"You'll see," Burt said a bit shakily as he walked past Kurt towards the door. Kurt stood by the kitchen table, peering out to the front door of the house, where he saw Burt open the door, revealing an enthusiastic Rachel Berry, who hugged him.

"Hello, Mr. Hummel! I'm so glad that I could come tonight. Thank you so much for inviting me, Finn!"

Finn?

"Hi, Mr. Hummel. It's nice to meet you," Finn greeted him carefully, as if he was unsure of what to say. "We brought some dip, is that okay?"

"That's great, Finn, thank you so much. You two can come in and put your coats on the couch. Where's your mother?" _Why are Finn and his mom here? _Kurt wondered.

"I'm here, I'm here! Hello, Burt," Kurt saw Finn's mother appear at the door—Burt gave her a warm hug, and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. _Wait a second…no. Dad would tell me._

"Hi, Carole. You can all go into the dining room, we have some food there. Kurt, could you turn on the television?"

"Oh—Okay, Dad," Kurt called out, and rushed towards the television, preparing himself for the massive hug he would receive from Rachel once he came into her sight.

"KURT!" _Here we go_, he groaned as he felt her strong arms encompass him. He feebly returned the gesture. "It's so cute that your dad is dating Finn's mom!"

"Yeah…yeah, it is," Kurt answered, casting his gaze to the floor. He couldn't bring himself to look at Finn. He wondered if Finn knew.

Of course, Kurt wouldn't be upset with the fact that Burt hid his relationship with Carole from him. Kurt himself hid the whole Blaine thing from Burt. He couldn't help but ponder for a second whether Burt did this as revenge, but then threw out the idea immediately. It was not of Burt's nature at all. He was entitled to have some privacy.

"So, Carole, I don't think you've ever met my son Kurt. Carole, Kurt, Kurt, Carole," Burt suddenly appeared beside Rachel and Finn with Finn's mother at his side. Kurt looked up and grinned. She looked a bit like Finn, and had that same warm smile.

"Hi," he said, and reached out his hand. She took it and shook it firmly.

"Your father says such nice things about you. I'm so glad that I finally got to meet you, Kurt. I'm sure you know Finn, since you two are in New Directions together," she nodded over towards Finn, who had broken away from the group and was examining an old family portrait of Kurt and both his parents.

"Yes, we've spoken a few times." Lie. He'd probably said three words to Finn throughout their entire high school career. Yes, in his sophomore year he had a small crush on him, but he soon got over it.

"Mr. Hummel, I hope you took into consideration that I am a vegan?" Rachel butted in brightly; she was standing in the doorway of the dining room.

"Yeah, he did, let me show you your choices." Kurt joined her, feeling somewhat glad that he got away from Finn's mother. While he was glad that his father finally had a girlfriend, it was kind of a foreign idea to him.

"So Kurt, how are you? Have you heard from you-know-who?" Apparently Rachel decided to talk about what Kurt least wanted to discuss.

"Rachel, the wizarding war is over, you don't have to refer to Voldemort as You-Know-Who anymore," he answered gruffly as he got a plate for her and pointed to the vegan bowls.

"I'm going to ignore your moment of nerdiness, and ask again: have you spoken with Blaine?" She began spooning some food out of the bowl, but missed her plate since she was staring at Kurt, anxiously awaiting a response.

"No, and it's not a big deal. We'll talk when we want to; I have his number, so-"

"Wait, you have his number?! We have to call him, like, now!" Rachel let the spoon clatter on the table as she reached out to Kurt, searching his person for his phone.

"Rachel, Rachel, stop! You're not airport security! I'll call him when I want to, just…stop." Rachel slowly backed her hands away, a sad look on her face. "I'm sorry, but…a lot of stuff just happened, and that's the last thing I need to think about." Rachel nodded, and quietly said that she was sorry. Kurt then reached out to her for a hug; she accepted gratefully.

"It's okay. Let's go watch Anderson Cooper banter with Kathy Griffin," he said jovially, and held out his arm. She took it, and they walked back into the living room, where Finn, Burt, and Carole were already huddled around the television, which was displaying some of the biggest plays of the football season that year. Finn and Burt's eyes were glued to the screen; Carole looked very bored.

"Hey, Kurt and I want to watch Kathy and Anderson! I personally don't understand a thing about football, and I'm sure that Kurt and I don't, and maybe Mrs. Hudson, so majority rules." Rachel snatched the remote from out of Finn's hands and began to surf through the channels, trying to find the right one. Once she succeeded, she plopped down next to Finn on the couch and curled up into his chest. Kurt took a seat on the other half of the couch, giving the two of them some room. He glanced at the two of them quickly and felt something tug at his heart: he saw Blaine in front of him for a split second. Rubbing his face vigorously, Kurt wiped away all of the whisperings of what he swore he would not think about and brought his attention back to the screen.

_New year, new beginnings,_ he thought.

* * *

"I'll get the glasses of champagne-slash-sparkling cider, there's only two minutes left!" Kurt announced, springing to his feet after checking the clock. He was playing Apples to Apples on the floor with Finn and Rachel, and lost track of time as they were very engaged in their game. Burt and Carole were talking in the other room.

"All right, get back soon!" Rachel and Finn began to clean up the game. Kurt dashed into the kitchen and found the flutes waiting on the table. He opened the refrigerator and retrieved the champagne and cider. He then set the cider down on the table and grabbed two of the flutes with his newly free hand, bringing them and the champagne to his father and Carole.

"It's time for the countdown!" he said as he found them chatting in the dining room, where the remains of their dinner was still sitting on the table. They got up from their chairs and took the glasses: Burt looked happier than Kurt had ever seen him. Carole lightly touched Kurt's wrist as she took the champagne bottle. Kurt smiled at her warmly and returned to the kitchen to pour the cider into the flutes for him, Rachel, and Finn.

"…Twenty-three, twenty-two, twenty-one…c'mon, Kurt!" Finn said as Kurt walked in, quickly handing them their flutes. He watched as the ball in New York City got even close to the ground, mouthing the seconds along with his friends and the people on his screen. He heard Burt and Carole join in behind them.

"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!" Everyone shouted; Kurt turned to Rachel and Finn to toast with them; they were too busy kissing. He then looked up at Burt and Carole, who were involved in the same activity. Feeling like a fifth wheel, Kurt toasted to the kissing couples on the screen and took a sip of the cider. The fizziness of it left an undesirable aftertaste in his mouth. Suddenly, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, notifying him that he got a text.

He took it out and opened it, feeling his jaw drop a little as his read the text.

_Happy New Year; I think this one will be a good one for you :)_

He didn't even have to look at the number. Kurt smiled to himself for a second, ignoring the chatter of the room around him.

_New year, new beginnings_, he reminded himself, and felt his smile grow even wider.

* * *

A/N: I could have skipped over to when he sees Blaine again, but I felt like keeping you waiting a little longer :) Sorry! I hope you liked this chapter, I literally wrote it in two days because I've been so busy.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to post a new chapter next week, considering that it's Klaine week, and I have a very busy schedule with school too. I will probably post all of the fics that I write on here as well as my tumblr...if you don't know, the prompts are as follows- Monday: Early Klaine, Tuesday: Skank/Badboy, Wednesday: Fairytale AU, Thursday: Naughty+Nice, Friday: Anniversary, Saturday: Wedding, Sunday: Reunion.

I can't repeat myself enough regarding how much gratitude I feel for the follows/favorites/reviews. You guys are amazing! xx


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to do this. I tried to do Klaine week, but I only got halfway through, since I had a huge project due and AVPSY (which I'm still not over). I'm having a really rough time with school/life in general right now, although I recently got cleared to go back to normal physical activity _and_ I got my permit…oh well, enjoy!

* * *

Winter break had finally come to an end, and Kurt found himself sitting beside the rest of the glee club in the auditorium again. It had only been two days after they returned from the break, and the administration made a spontaneous announcement earlier that everyone would be brought to the auditorium for a quick closure of the contest; it should only last fifteen minutes, the principal said, but Kurt still heard his teacher groan in anguish at the thought of losing fifteen minutes of teaching time. He slowly began to feel the nerves creeping back; _what is Blaine going to say? What if I did win? Is he going to read what I wrote?!_ He tapped his fingers against his thigh to the beat his heart was tattooing in his chest, trying to appear calm otherwise.

"Chill out, Kurt!" _Crap. _Tina turned to face him, a large smile on her face."You've got this in the bag. I'm sure he's going to acknowledge you in some way—i.e, you're going to win." Tina placed a comforting hand on his arm. "Don't worry about it; everything is going to work out."

"Oh, I don't know," Kurt replied lackadaisically, trying to brush it off. "I don't know if he'll like what I wrote. It's a little-"

"Settle down, please!" Principal Figgins took his place on the stage, his mouth pressed to the microphone. Kurt immediately stopped talking, but the rest of the room was abuzz with chatter and laughter. He repeated the phrase a multitude of times before the talking was just a sporadic whisper. "Thank you. As I said earlier, this shouldn't take too long. I'll let our friend Mr. Anderson come out now." While Kurt silently laughed at the irony of the statement, Figgins stood in front of the microphone for a second, staring up at the crowded room, and then shuffled off of the stage. After a few seconds, Blaine walked out from the right wing, a few papers in his hands. He was wearing his Dalton uniform, something Kurt had never seen before. Kurt leaned forward slightly, his knee bobbing up and down. It's like he couldn't stop moving—_I need to go out and run or something_, he thought, _this is too much_.

Blaine strutted up to the center of the stage with that affable charm still evident in his gait, grabbing the microphone from the stand as he walked past it. He looked down at the papers before he looked up at the load of students surrounding him. Kurt wondered how he could ever have the pluck to talk in front of over a thousand people, but then he remembered that he'd be performing with glee club in front of a crowd about the same size soon, and with that his mind fell silent.

"Hello, William McKinley High School. It's nice to be back, I can tell you that. I'm sure that it's a relief to be out of class for a while after such a long break, right? I'm not quite in the school mood, either," he laughed nervously, and some people joined in sympathetically. "Okay, while I'm sure that your teachers don't appreciate that comment, I'm sure that they feel the same way." Some more laughs. "All right, all right, I'll stop." He grinned, and Kurt found his lips curling up into a dumb smile. _Why do you do this to me?_

"So, first order of business: I was blown away by the response to this. I read through every single one of your papers—I couldn't carry them with me because there were simply too many for me to bring; these are the winners (_winners, plural_?! Kurt noted)" He held up the papers in his hand, "—and wow! Some of you, of course, took the easy way out, although I was very impressed with one person's deep analysis of _Goodnight Moon_, that was rather enlightening, Noah Puckerman," Kurt turned to throw him a strange look, but he was too busy hi-fiving his friends. "but there were a lot that were fantastic. I can't say that I wasn't surprised with this enthusiasm. Either my speech really moved some of you; you all just wanted the incentive. Perhaps your English teachers bribed you. I suspect the latter, but I succeeded in my endeavor in getting you to at least read something substantial outside of school…I think. I know this is banal and childish, but go ahead and pat yourselves on the back. No? Fine." He chuckled, seeing that only a few people performed the action; Kurt reached over and did it, still unbelieving of how those little things Blaine did affected him so.

"Second order of business: the winner. As I said before, I read through all of these. Every. Single. One. My entire break consisted of this, thanks to all of you. Anyway, while all of them were great, there were a handful that were absolutely amazing, and really touched me. So, without any further ado…can I get a drumroll, please?" Of course, everyone obliged at that command: Kurt could feel his chair vibrating from the movement. They couldn't possibly amount to the sound of his blood rushing in his ears, or the rapid pace of his heart. "Okay, good good good!" Blaine practically shouted, trying to calm everyone down. "The winner is…Brittany S. Pierce!"

Kurt's jaw fell, leaving his mouth gaping as he stared at Blaine's smiling face. He could hardly suppress himself from shouting out. He never expected…of all people…_Brittany?!_ He turned to watch the girl get up from her seat, skipping down the aisle and up the stage to meet Blaine there.

"Brittany, of all of the responses I read, I found yours the most…intriguing. You can explain to everyone what you wrote about." Blaine quickly moved away from the stand, ducking his head as he allowed Brittany take center stage.

"So, I wrote about a book that's very dear to me. I just read _Charlotte's Web_ a while ago, because I saw that it was about spiders and I had just seen the remake of the Spiderman movie so I was in the mood for spider-y stuff, and then this thing came up and Lord Tubbington suggested that I write about this…" Kurt was not paying any attention to Brittany. He observed Blaine, who was flippantly fingering through the papers he was holding, and occasionally wiped his hands on his thighs. He seemed very anxious. Kurt frowned, wondering what that was about.

"…then I decided that Charlotte was just a representation of this small thing we call life, and to quote Robert Frost, 'So dawn goes down to day/Nothing gold can stay.'" Brittany ended, turning to Blaine brightly. "I'm done. Can you take me to Mars now?" Kurt sniggered as Blaine snapped his head up at the question, a bewildered look on his face.

"Uh, we can talk about that later. Thank you so much, Brittany, you can stand right here," he grabbed her arm, preventing her from walking away, as it seemed that she got distracted by something backstage. "Before I wrap this up, however," he let out a long sigh, "there's one more thing I need to address.

"Kurt Hummel, can you please come up here?"

Kurt felt every muscle within his body freeze. He stared up at Blaine, who appeared to be searching for him, with wild eyes, his mind going through a thousand scenarios of what might happen if he even approached the stage.

He felt something nudge him, causing the numbing sensation that had temporarily entombed his body to dissipate. "You heard him, get up there!" Tina urged. Kurt's legs finally remembered how to work, and they lifted him from his seat at those words. He began to mechanically walk towards the aisle, feeling detached from the entire scenario. It almost seemed as if the room was completely empty aside from him and Blaine. The only sound he could hear was his feet landing against the floor, bringing him even nearer to the boy waiting for him.

Soon enough, Kurt climbed the stairs, slowing down as he got even closer to Blaine. Once he was a couple of feet away from him, he looked up. Blaine was staring at him with the strangest expression, like his hazel eyes had turned to liquid gold from the zeal they emulated. Kurt felt his breath catch in his throat. No one ever looked at him that way…

"_Kurt_," Blaine whispered, and held his arms out. Just the way he said his name—Kurt fell into Blaine's embrace, digging his head into the boy's neck as their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. It felt so natural.

After a few seconds, they broke apart: Kurt glanced back at Blaine, who was still staring at Kurt with that same countenance. He took the microphone standing nearby in his hand and brought it to his mouth. "Kurt, you didn't win simply because your entry deserves more than just one outing with me. I was wondering if you would like to do something with me tonight?" He gave Kurt a sheepish grin.

"Of course," Kurt answered without hesitation, the feeling of Blaine's body against him still lingering. _I just got asked out on a stage in front of the whole school. I just got asked out on a stage in front of the whole school. I just got asked out on a stage in front of the whole school._

_I am going out with Blaine Anderson tonight._

"Thank you, KH," Blaine whispered in his ear as he drew Kurt in for another hug.

Principal Figgins's voice dismissing the rest of the school seemed to be a thousand miles away as Kurt and Blaine continued to hold onto each other, still trying to become acquainted with the fact that they were actually speaking with each other in the flesh.

* * *

A/N: Sorry it's so short; I wrote this really quickly and I wanted to put something down because I feel so badly that I haven't updated in ages.

To add to my sadness, I think I'm going to end this soon...what do you think? You have all been so supportive and helpful. Thank you thank you thank you!


	19. Chapter 19

"So…hi." Kurt looked up at Blaine, who was staring at him while he stirred his coffee. "I feel like we've never really said hi to each other before. You know, like this," he clarified, thinking of when they first "met" in person.

"I get it. So I guess I should say hi to you too," Blaine replied, a sly smile on his face. They had decided on the Lima Bean for their "date", although Kurt didn't like to refer to it with that title. He saw it more like a meeting or just a casual outing. They sat across from each other at a small table in a somewhat private corner of the coffee shop.

Since they had hugged on stage, Kurt had done a lot of thinking about Blaine—about everything—throughout the entire day. He knew that he'd done poorly on his trig quiz since the only angles he could think about were the spaces between Blaine's fingers on his back, the amount of degrees his blazer expanded away from his chest when Kurt shifted his head on his shoulder, how the stage lights hit them, causing the shadow of their entwined figures to go on and on behind them…

Yes, he enjoyed that a lot more than he should have, but Kurt couldn't help but think about how fast their rela—whatever it was called—was progressing. He'd never expected his first…involvement with a boy…would begin as uniquely as his with Blaine had. They'd only spoken to each other twice in person, and had only known each other for two months (_Two months?! Already?_ He thought). He'd expected that he'd have known the person for a while before, and slowly feel himself being swept off his feet…

_Isn't that what Blaine is doing to me now?_

Regardless, he was still wary of starting their "friendship" on the wrong foot. Kurt really, really did not want to screw it up.

"Yeah…" Kurt sighed, trying to think of something to talk about. "Oh, sorry I left so quickly earlier today. I had to get to class; I have _that_ kind of teacher first period." While Kurt somewhat liked his Chemistry teacher, she was an absolute totalitarian. Tardiness was one of the worst offenses one could commit, and although Kurt had been singled out by Blaine at the short meeting, she still glared at him when he walked in, completely out of breath, after everyone else had taken their seats.

"No, it's okay," Blaine waved his hand, taking a sip of his drink. "I needed to settle things with Brittany. I almost forgot she was there," he admitted, with a hint of pink staining his cheeks. _Is he _embarrassed_?_ Kurt had to bite his lip from giggling at the thought. He never thought of Blaine as the self-conscious type. "well, she was under the impression that I could get us a rocket ship to go to Mars. I'd need a fortune comparable to Harry Potter's to get that! What's on Mars, anyway?" Kurt shook his head, laughing at Blaine's incredulous expression. "She seemed really intelligent from what she wrote, but meeting her…she's a little out there."

"Yeah, I can't disagree with that! So, what are you two going to do?" Kurt queried casually, taking a quick look around the Lima Bean. There were a few other people dispersed around the shop, but thankfully no one Kurt recognized. That did strike him as odd, since most nights the coffee shop was bustling with customers, but he was fine with the fact that there weren't many people to interrupt him and Blaine.

"I asked what she liked to do, and she said that next week we could go to the local _cat show_," Kurt nearly spit out his drink from how ridiculously triangular Blaine's eyebrows were due to his countenance, "and then she said that I could be on her little video thing with fondue, whatever that means."

"Sounds eventful," Kurt commented.

"Oh yeah," Blaine rolled his eyes. "I'm sure that Brittany by herself will keep me on my toes nearly the entire time, but cats aren't really my thing. I'll probably text you most of the time—if that's okay with you," he added quickly, his eyes questioning.

Kurt was taken aback by this. "Um, sure, sure, that's fine, I guess," he stammered, and then composed himself. "That should be fine, but I don't think I could possibly be more entertaining than prize-worthy felines," he shrugged his shoulders, giving Blaine a meek grin.

"_Kurt_," Blaine reached his hand over to cover Kurt's open one sitting by his drink. Kurt let out a tiny gasp at the gesture, but Blaine didn't seem to notice. His soft hand flipped it over and gently pressed their palms together, easily interlacing their fingers. Kurt couldn't help but stare at their interlocked hands. "Kurt, don't say that. I love talking to you; why would I have written to you every day for a month if I didn't?"

"Well, it's a lot different when we're in person," Kurt mumbled, reveling in the fact that Blaine still hadn't moved his hand away.

"Indeed it is," Blaine agreed quietly; Kurt could detect a strange tone to his voice. They sat in silence for some time, staring at their hands. Kurt felt his own pulse thump in his palm, quivering through his long fingers; he wondered if it was only his own sweat making his hand warm and moist. Regardless of this, he could not deny how natural it felt to have Blaine's hand in his.

"What's next for you?" Kurt suddenly piped up, trying to bring an end to the silence that was making him slightly uncomfortable. He also needed a distraction from the fact that Blaine was still holding onto him, a feat that only his mother had achieved.

"To be completely honest, I'm not really sure. I only did this with a couple of schools in the area. I also got a good response from them, which is awesome. Wait, I almost forgot, I'm going to be on the state news for this!" He beamed at Kurt, who promptly began to babble his congratulations and his excitement for Blaine.

"How could you possibly forget—wow, Blaine, that's great! You deserve it, oh wow, you're going to be on my TV screen—congratulations, I just-"

"Seriously, Kurt," Blaine cut him off, "you could be in on this too. None of this would have gotten as far as it did without you," his demeanor sincere and focused on Kurt, who opened and closed his mouth like a fish, trying to find a response to the offer.

"I—I couldn't, Blaine, oh, I don't know…" Kurt stated, his mouth becoming dry. "It's just—you had the idea, you started it all, I just tagged along…"

"_Kurt_." At the sound of his name being repeated for the umpteenth time, he snapped his head up to meet Blaine's gaze. There was that _look_ again, the same one from when they were on the stage. Kurt watched his lips move, muttering something to himself, but he didn't question it.

"Yes?" Kurt hated how small his voice sounded.

"You do realize that I didn't need to read all of those books, right," he stated, his voice monotone. He flexed his fingers against Kurt's, who didn't notice since he was still trying to compute what Blaine had said.

"I knew most of the books we read like the back of my hand, Kurt," he said, absentmindedly tracing circles on Kurt's hand with his thumb, "I didn't need to read them, I didn't need whatever I said I needed from you. Well, I guess I did, in a way…I just, you know, liked 'talking' to you," Blaine made quotation marks with his free hand, "kind of a lot." A rubicund color had returned to his cheeks, and Kurt felt his own face grow hot at this admission. All he could muster was "Oh."

"Now that I've started this…" Blaine heaved a great sigh, and finally let go of Kurt's hand, placing it on his coffee cup. "Kurt, when I first started writing…I had no real purpose. My teachers suggested that I do something with my love of books, so I thought hey, might as well write about them, and then you came into the picture, and…wow. You just—I feel like I've been looking for you forever. All I could see, however, were some words on a paper. That was it. You don't know how badly I wanted to see the face behind the ink, behind all of those ingenious things you shared, behind all of the laughs you brought; I can go on and on. I knew that we'd meet at some point; there was no way I'd finish this and never hear of you ever again. I had to, though. I had to cut myself off from KH, not just because I needed the Book for the whole presentation thing, but because—oh God, this sounds so pathetic—I was becoming too attached. I was attached to someone I'd never even seen in my life. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? Attached to a bunch of words on a few sheets of paper. The difference is, however, that those words had _meaning_. I knew that you were real.

"To be honest, I never thought you went to William McKinley High School, even though it makes complete sense now and I was an idiot for not even considering that. It's dumb that I didn't even know who you were either; I should've known…anyway, what you wrote to me. I can't even put into words how I feel-"

"Before you continue," Kurt interrupted, feeling a little overwhelmed with all that Blaine was pouring to him, "I just want to let you know that yes, I really care about you, and like you, but…I'm just not _ready_ for anything more yet. I'm just trying to figure my life out right now, and I could really use a good friend. I don't want anything to progress to quickly or anything." The words were out; Kurt still wasn't sure how true they were, or how exactly he felt about them. He couldn't believe he was actually discussing something like _this_, especially with someone as perfect as Blaine.

"What about what you wrote, though? That left me under a different impression…" Kurt couldn't bring himself to meet Blaine's hurt expression. _He_ really _wants this, doesn't he_, a little voice in the back of Kurt's mind commented, _why are you doing this? You want this too. _Before it could go any further, Kurt spoke up.

"I wrote that thing really late one night after a party, basically right after I finished that book. I guess I wasn't thinking straight; the party was a little strenuous, I don't know what I was thinking…"

"Yeah, but if you didn't believe those words at least in some way, you wouldn't have put them down," Blaine countered quickly, "You know they're true. C'mon, Kurt, don't lie to me. Don't lie to yourself, please."

"I just don't—can't we talk about something else? How about the Buckeyes, haven't they played recently? I know you like college football, you told me once. Please, Blaine," Kurt pleaded, desperately trying to divert the conversation from whatever it was becoming.

Blaine let out a long sigh. "If that's what you want, then." He uneasily began telling Kurt about how the football season had been going, and eventually they launched into topics that interested both of them, since Kurt hardly knew a thing about football. The chatter flowed easily, almost as if they'd known each other for ages, as if it wasn't the first time they were truly having a conversation face-to-face for the first time, as if they were just really good friends.

Blaine finished his drink as Kurt began discussing the latest developments in New Directions' endeavors in their road to nationals and let out a small laugh, cutting Kurt off.

"What?" Kurt asked, wondering why Blaine was looking at him like _that_ again. He had just started complaining about how irritating Rachel was starting to get; he didn't see how that was funny.

"Can I just—can I try something? Just to try to change your mind," He seemed to be a little withdrawn from reality as his eyes searched Kurt's face for consent.

"Sure, but change my mind about Ra-" _Oh. That's _not _what he's talking about_, Kurt deduced as Blaine cautiously leaned over the table, his eyes not on Kurt's anymore, but rather his parted lips. Kurt simply sat in his seat as Blaine drew even nearer, his mind thinking a thousand thoughts instantaneously, yet he was unable to fathom a single one. He stared a Blaine with wide eyes until their faces were just an inch apart, and finally let them fall shut as Blaine closed the gap.

It was soft, so much softer than Karfosky or even Santana. Blaine was gentle with him, and tasted strongly of coffee. Kurt didn't mind; he heard Blaine knock over his empty cup, possibly in shock, as Kurt instinctively reached up to cup his face with his hand. He didn't even know what brought him to do it. Blaine's cheek was smooth and radiated a kind of warmth that caused chills to run down Kurt's spine. He could feel his muscles moving beneath it as Blaine deepened the kiss.

After what seemed like ages, Blaine broke away, slinking down into his chair. Kurt didn't realize how dizzy he was from lack of oxygen: he lay back in his chair, taking in a long, shaky breath. He couldn't believe he'd finally gotten his first real kiss—from _Blaine_.

"…Well?" Blaine said tentatively. Kurt looked up from his cup, which he'd focused his gaze on since he was afraid of what he'd do if he looked at Blaine too soon, which would probably be lunge at him for another round. Blaine was looking down in his lap; Kurt could only see the top of his gelled head, his smoothed curls shining. "What do you think now?"

Kurt got up from his chair and dragged it over so he was next to Blaine. He picked up the empty cup from the floor—it had rolled quite a distance away—and placed it on the table next to Blaine's hand, which he then covered with his own. Blaine languidly lifted his head, turning to Kurt with a look of wonder on his face.

"I think I need you to do a little more convincing," Kurt replied mischievously, surprised at the fact that he could come up with such a coy response, and immediately felt Blaine's mouth close over his once more.

* * *

"Hey, Lady Lips, wake up over there!" Kurt felt himself being slapped back into reality from his reverie—literally. He brought his hand to his stinging cheek as Santana stood over him at glee rehearsal the next day with her hands on her hips. "I know that you were out with Blaine Warbler yesterday, gaying it up in the Lima Bean, but that doesn't mean that you have to day dream your wedding here!"

"H-how did you know that?" Kurt stuttered, looking around the choir room at the majority of people who were looking at him. Mr. Schue had left for a quick bathroom break (Kurt knew better; Ms. Pillsbury had just walked past the door and Mr. Schue practically bolted), so Kurt decided to take the opportunity to recall what had happened at the end of the night as they walked back to their cars, arm-in-arm:

Blaine: Hey, I'm sorry that I kind of just kissed you.

Kurt: It's okay—I don't mind at all. It was very sweet.

Blaine: I just couldn't help myself, you know? You can't just go on rants like that; it's incredibly alluring for me.

Kurt: Okay, okay, okay, no ranting. Got it.

Blaine: No, do it! It gives me an excuse to kiss you! (Kurt steps on his foot; Blaine winces in pain but gives Kurt a winning smile.) So, when can I see you next?

Kurt: I can text you; I have a lot of stuff going on with glee and school and everything, so I don't know.

Blaine: Hey, why don't we do it through this. (Blaine pulls out the Book from his messenger bag.) You can write it down in here; I should be in the library every other night, since I help my grandmother clean up. Feel free to text me, though; I don't mind that at all.

Kurt: I guess I don't either. That works perfectly. I hope it won't be too long.

Blaine: (embraces Kurt, whispers in his ear) Me too. Me too.

"I have my sources," Santana said, subtly glancing where Mercedes and Tina were sitting next to each other in the front, giggling about something. They mimicked kissing motions and squealed: Kurt suddenly put the pieces together.

"Excuse me for a moment," Kurt said distractedly. He got up from his seat and walked up behind the two girls, clearing his throat. They jumped in their seats and turned around.

"Did you two spy on me?" he asked, restraining himself from shouting.

"Yes," Tina admitted at the same time Mercedes emphatically shook her head. Tina elbowed her, and Mercedes changed her movement to a nod. "We were sitting kind of close; you looked around one time and we were scared that you would catch us, but most of the time you were looking at Blaine," the two of them burst into another fit of giggles, and Kurt smacked their arms.

"I am never telling you anything ever again!" he fumed, storming back to his seat as Mr. Schue walked back into the room. It was a mistake to tell them where and when they'd be there, that was for sure. Kurt knew that he'd have to get back at them in some way. Nevertheless, he felt his thoughts turn back to Blaine as he half-listened to Mr. Schue go over what the theme of the week was, when he suddenly came up with an idea.

* * *

Kurt pulled into the parking lot of the library just five minutes before closing time. He recognized Blaine's car towards the front and parked in the space next to it, picking up the small bouquet of flowers he had picked up shortly before leaving. He got out of his car, locked it, and crossed the street, holding the flowers behind his back as he approached the door.

"Hello? We're about to close—_Kurt_?" A disembodied voice called out as Kurt strode in; Mrs. Anderson then popped out from behind the front desk. "My, it's been a long time since I've seen you! How are you? How's your arm?"

"It's a lot better, thanks. I was wondering if Blaine is here?" He asked, heat rushing to his cheeks. He then heard a loud _thud! _resonate from somewhere nearby, a sound he recognized to be a bunch of books tumbling to the floor.

"Sorry, Grandma, I'll pick them up," Blaine. Mrs. Anderson smiled warmly at Kurt, and called out for him not to worry, that she could get them, but that he needed to organize the papers at the front desk. She winked at Kurt as she disappeared through a door that was situated behind her. It soon opened again, and Blaine appeared with a cross look on his face. His jaw dropped slightly as he saw Kurt standing in front of him. Before he could say anything, Kurt thrust the flowers in front of him, out for Blaine to take.

"Wow, Kurt, thank you! What's the occasion?" Blaine chuckled, taking the yellow and red roses and bringing them to his nose to smell.

"I just decided the brilliant idea I had to surprise-visit you and tell you that I'm free next Friday night, specifically free to go to the local movie theater and watch a special showing of _Moulin Rogue!_ which is one of my favorite movies ever and I will never talk to you again if you've never seen it," Kurt practically sang, taking a step closer to Blaine, who was still smelling the fragrance of the flowers.

"That was quite a run-on, Kurt. Anyway, of course I've seen it before, and that sounds wonderful. I'm not sure how much I'll be watching the movie, though," he said lowly, walking out from behind the counter to hook his free hand around Kurt's waist. Kurt felt his face flare at the suggestive implications of Blaine's statement, but still sent him a passive smile.

"Blaine?" Blaine jumped back at the sound of his grandmother's voice: she had peeked her head out of the slightly-opened door. Kurt hoped she hadn't been watching for too long. "You two can go ahead; I don't have much else to do." She closed the door behind her, and Blaine instantly entwined his hand in Kurt's. They wordlessly walked out of the library, the cold greeting them with a few flakes of snow.

"Apparently it's supposed to snow pretty badly tonight, so I'm going to want to get going soon," Kurt said as they approached their cars.

"Ugh, can't we just stay somewhere so we can get snowed in together," Blaine said lowly, pressing Kurt closer to him. "Whoops, did I say that aloud?" he recovered, his tone filled with genuine surprise.

"Yes, yes you did," Kurt replied, feeling another set of chills completely unrelated to the cold.

"I'm sorry, Kurt, I don't want to appear—I'm not really like _that_," Blaine looked at Kurt, "I just like spending time with you. To be honest, I was fantasizing about us reading to each other," he professed, removing his hand from Kurt's to get his keys. Kurt stood there for a second, unable to move from how utterly romantic and enticing that sounded, and then began to fumble with his own keys. _Oh, he knows exactly how to do romance me,_ Kurt sighed, wishing that he could maybe do the same with Blaine. _Moulin Rouge_ soon seemed to pale in comparison to reading books like _The Fault in Our Stars_ to each other, cuddled up in under a blanket in front of a blazing fireplace with hot chocolate nearby…

"Of course, we'll probably have school tomorrow, since it doesn't seem like much, and I don't think my dad will like the idea of me having a boy over that I barely know," Kurt mumbled to Blaine's back, since he was still gingerly setting his flowers in the passenger seat. He then turned around to face Kurt.

"_Kurt_," Kurt loved how Blaine said his name; he said it breathlessly, making the seemingly brusque name more elegant. "We have plenty of time to do stuff like that. You know me, too; we've known each other for how long? Two months, going on three?"

"I'd never even seen you until after one month," Kurt said quietly. Blaine took Kurt's gloved hands in his own, rubbing them in an attempt to warm them up.

"That doesn't matter. We can be friends without having ever seen each other, right? All that matters is that you exist, and that now you're here by my side. It's almost like I can't remember what life was like before you, even before I'd never seen your face." At that, he took one of his hands and brought it to Kurt's face fastidiously; Kurt did the same, bringing one of his to cover Blaine's hand.

"To tell you the truth, I can't either," Kurt replied, "and I don't really want to, since life before you was really dull."

Blaine smiled at Kurt, his resplendent in the darkness of the frigid night. He pressed his hand into Kurt's as he leaned in to kiss his naked cheek, and then ducked away into his car. Kurt intuitively stepped away from the car, a bit disappointed in how quickly Blaine left, and with only a kiss on his cheek.

Still, Kurt found himself touching his tingling cheek, feeling the ghost of Blaine's lips. He could not believe how lucky he was to have found a boy like Blaine simply through a Book, a Book that completely changed his life-their lives. He stood there as the snow began to fall down even faster, his eyes still in the direction of where Blaine had driven away. He sighed and got into his car, sticking his keys in the ignition.

He couldn't wait for next Friday, but he couldn't tell anyone, especially not Tina or Mercedes. _I have to tell Dad_, he remembered. _How do I tell him, though? Are we _dating_?_ Kurt shuddered at the thought—in a good way. Being Blaine's _boyfriend_…wow. If he went in time in that moment and told his past self from even a couple of weeks ago that he'd be dating BDA, he was sure that his past self would think he was insane because 1) he'd never thought that he'd meet BDA at least that soon, and 2) there was no way they could master time travel in such a short period of time, unless he'd met the Doctor from _Doctor Who_.

Kurt laughed to himself at the thought, and began to drive away, trying to come up with things to keep him occupied so he wouldn't get too caught up with his "date" with Blaine the next week.

* * *

A/N: That was a really long chapter for me, I know, and insanely fluffy. As I was wrapping this chapter up, I realized I could end it here, but I think I'm going to do one or two more chapters. To put it bluntly, it really sucks that I'm finishing this up-I've been thinking about how much I'm going to miss writing this, and all of the *AMAZING* support I've been getting. SO, be on the lookout for new stories from me! I've been thinking of a few, so don't expect me to go on a long hiatus after finishing this.

As usual, thanks for the awesome reviews!


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Sorry it took me so long! Believe it or not, I had school this week, as well as on SATURDAY! That's right-thanks a lot, Sandy!

* * *

**I'm meeting you at the theater at 6:30, is that okay?**

_Kurt, we already discussed this. It's okay._

**No, please, don't say 'okay.'**

_Okay? Okay. _

**Please remind me of why I'm doing this.**

_Because you're my boyfriend, maybe?_

**So that's what we are. I wasn't sure of our title.**

_Is that ok—fine with you?_

**…yeah. That's more than fine.**

_J Just so you know, I have an 11 o'clock curfew._

**What, I thought we were just going to see the movie?**

_You know that's not going to happen._

**What, you don't want to watch? L**

_No, of course I do. I was just wondering if you wanted to go somewhere afterwards…_

**I'll think about it.**

_Great. I still can't believe I went a week without seeing you._

**Well, we did correspond through the Book a few times…**

_Yeah, but that's different from seeing you in person. Talking to you…looking at you…kissing you…J_

"Kurt? Phone away, please!" Rachel called from the front, thus ending Kurt's conversation with Blaine through text. Reluctantly, Kurt slipped it into his bag as he turned his attention to Rachel and Finn, who were about to perform a song together. His cheeks burned as some people turned to him, specifically Mercedes and Tina with huge grins on their faces. Kurt waved his hand at them angrily, and they turned around, their shoulders shaking with laughter. He sank in his chair and prepared himself for the couple's performance. He tapped his foot impatiently, looking up at the clock: just a little over 2 hours left. The only thing Kurt could think about was what he'd do once glee finished for the day: _glee's probably going to get out within the next half-hour, and then I need to get home, shower, pick out a new outfit, brush teeth, rehearse what conversation might come up so I don't make a fool of myself…_

At that moment, Rachel hit a particularly high note, so Kurt had no choice but to put his plans on hold. He did, however, feel his bag vibrate against his leg, signaling that he had received a text.

_That boy is going to be the death of me_, Kurt thought as he reluctantly resisted reaching down into the bag to read it and answer his _boyfriend_.

"Excuse me, Kurt? Where do you think you're going?" Kurt cursed under his breath as he backed up into the kitchen, where Burt was standing with his arms crossed. He closed his fist tightly around his car keys. "You know what tonight is, right?"

"Yes, Dad," Kurt answered quickly, hoping that Burt would end this talk quickly so he could be early to his date with Blaine. Yes, he'd forgotten that it was an important night, but he needed to meet Blaine. He'd hardly gone through the week without seeing him.

"Well, why don't you tell me," Kurt did not like the tone in his father's voice. He also didn't like how he'd possibly have to explain why he wasn't going to be at the family dinner that Friday night, even though it was a family tradition. He hadn't found the time to tell Burt about him and Blaine.

Frankly, he was afraid to.

"It's Friday night dinner, and it's mandatory that I be here, blah blah blah. C'mon, can't you let me off for one night?" Kurt pleaded, checking the time. It was nearing 6 o'clock.

"What can be more important than eating dinner with me?" His father asked pompously.

"Maybe my relationship?!" Kurt shouted, and realized what he said after a second. He turned away and began to walk briskly towards the door.

"_Relationship_?!" He heard Burt call out as he shut the door. Kurt walked to his car and got in, hoping that his dad wasn't too upset.

_He should be happy that I'm going out for once_, Kurt thought gruffly, _and that I have a love life_. Kurt was surprised with how much he missed seeing Blaine, like the sun hadn't quite risen every day since they'd been with each other. It'll blow over at some point, Kurt thought, and drove away, feeling butterflies in his stomach at the thought of watching his favorite movie with Blaine.

"You have the remains of a popcorn kernel in your teeth," Kurt self-consciously closed his mouth, covering it in mortification, and tried to search for the offending food with his tongue. He looked away from Blaine, who was silently laughing at him and his embarrassment. They were sitting in Kurt's car after the movie, trying to figure out what to do with their extra three hours before he had to take Blaine home.

"Cut it out," Kurt said after started looking through his car for his spare floss. Blaine was watching him with interest and amusement.

"I guess we can get you to a dentist; this is pretty intense!" Blaine exclaimed as Kurt wound a string around his fingers and turned away to watch himself floss in the side mirror.

"Well, that was embarrassing," Kurt said bluntly as the debacle ended. He faced Blaine and bared his teeth. "Am I good?"

Blaine examined him in a ridiculous fashion, as if he was a dentist, and then leaned in and kissed him, unlike a dentist. He then grinned at Kurt as they broke off. "I think you're good, my friend."

"Why do I even bother with you, Blaine?" Kurt sighed at how strange he was acting.

"Maybe because you like me, Kurt," Blaine shifted in his seat so he was closer to Kurt, and patted his knee. "So, what can we do? Where can we go? We need to do something exciting, sine I'm about to fall asleep after that movie."

"I agree; I don't want to sleep after crying my eyes out." Kurt thought for a second, wondering what Burt was doing at that moment, whether he was sleeping. _He's probably watching some game_, Kurt thought, and then an idea struck.

"Hey Blaine, do you think…do you think it'd be okay if you could come and meet my dad? I mean," he recovered as Blaine's eyes widened, "he's watching some football game, and he's probably tired so he shouldn't be too bad. We could-he'll most likely let us go down in my room and we can…hang out," Kurt said, trying to make the offer more appealing. _Introducing him might get me in less trouble as well, since he seemed pretty upset about it when I told him I was in a relationship._

"That sounds okay…I'll probably want to watch the game too, but spending time with you sounds a little better." Blaine sent Kurt a cocky smirk as Kurt put his car in drive.

"I'm going to kick you out of the car if you'd rather hang out with my dad than me!"

"You know that there's no one else I'd rather spend my time with, Kurt," Blaine soothed, and Kurt felt himself melt a little in his seat.

Kurt parked in his driveway, and signaled for Blaine to stay in the car. He wanted to warn Burt first so he wouldn't have another heart attack.

Butterflies fluttered feverishly in his stomach as he approached his house. He was sure that Burt would like Blaine. He _had_ to. Kurt opened the front door and walked in; he saw Burt's bald head turn around and watch him amble towards him. Unsurprisingly, the TV was displaying a game between two football teams Kurt did not care about.

"Dad." Kurt said once he was standing in front of his father, who nodded for him to continue. "First, I want to say that I was sorry about before. That was wrong of me to act that way. To make it up to you, I want to define what I mean by 'relationship'." He gave the sign for Burt to wait a little bit and rushed back out to where Blaine was waiting.

"Okay, I think he's ready. Just…be you, you're charming enough on your own." Kurt said nervously as he stuck his head in the car. Blaine saluted Kurt obnoxiously and then got out of the car, kissing Kurt on the nose when he was finally standing adjacent to him.

"Do you think that'll charm him?" Blaine asked innocently as he wrapped his hand around Kurt's. Kurt rolled his eyes and dragged Blaine along. "Relax, Kurt," he said softly as they got closer and closer to the house, "your dad loves you, and supports you in every way. It'll work out, I promise." Kurt felt a swell of confidence at his boyfriend's encouragement.

"Shouldn't you be the one who's nervous, Blaine?" he asked as he opened the door.

"I'm not nervous when I'm with you," Blaine whispered, and they both stepped towards the couch, hand in hand. Burt then stood up and looked at both of them, his face blank.

"Dad, I'd like you to meet Blaine Anderson, my…boyfriend. Blaine, this is my father, Burt Hummel." Kurt toyed with the word on his tongue, still getting used to the term. His father's eyes finally lit up as he shook Blaine's hand.

"It's very nice to finally meet you, Blaine. It's interesting how your relationship turned out, right?" Burt grinned mischievously at Kurt, who was very confused.

"Mr. Hummel, I'm not sure if I understand what you mean," Blaine appeared to be on the same page as Kurt.

"Just because I met Mrs. Devon once, doesn't mean I've never spoken to her again," Burt laughed. Kurt's face heated up.

"Does that mean you knew about this the entire time?!" Kurt queried, returning to Blaine, who was giving him a questioning look.

"Maybe," Burt replied. "We'll talk about it later, Kurt. Now, I'm not sure if you two want to watch the game with me—rather, just you, Blaine, since Kurt will just complain about how they need to improve on the bulkiness of football uniforms—or do your own thing…"

"Can I show him my room?" Kurt piped up quickly, glad that his dad had changed the subject.

"Fine. I hope I can trust you two-"

"Yes, Dad, absolutely, we don't have to talk about that now either. We don't have to talk about it ever, actually!" Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and led him to his room.

"Keep the door open!" They heard Burt call as they descended down the stairs into Kurt's room. Thankfully, Kurt had cleaned up the day before, so it was nice and neat. He let Blaine take in all of the decorations and nuances as he sat himself on his bed, awaiting a comment.

"So, what do you think?" Kurt asked.

"It's very you," Blaine said, examining the labels of his moisturizing kit. He turned to Kurt and then hesitantly joined him on the bed, grazing his hands along the bedspread. "It smells like you," he said quietly, and leaned in towards Kurt.

"My dad's upstairs," Kurt ducked his head a little, red staining his cheeks. Blaine cupped his face so he was looking up at him.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to, however, I don't think he'll hear us. Anyway, he has to understand that it's very difficult for me to not kiss you when you've just done something amazing."

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked as Blaine took his hands, tracing circles on them with his thumbs. They were sitting cross-legged, facing each other on the bed.

"Three things. You introduced me to the one man you care about the most, which that's a big deal. Two, you showed me your room, which, I don't know, I feel like it's a huge milestone."

"It's just a place that I stay in a lot. I don't see what the big deal is."

"That's exactly it. This is your room, where you keep all of your things and express who you are. I find it pretty intimate that you can reveal all of this to me," Blaine gave him that look again as he stared deep into his eyes.

"What's the third thing?"

"This." Blaine removed one of his hands; it disappeared behind his back for a few seconds as he searched for something Kurt couldn't see. There was a book in it—a book Kurt recognized all too well.

Blaine flipped open to the dog-eared page, muttering under his breath how bad that is for a book, but then softened as he saw what was on the page.

"'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?/ Thou art more lovely and more temperate/ rough winds do shake the darling buds of May/ And summer's lease hath all too short a date./ Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines/ and often is his gold complexion dimm'd/ And every fair from fair sometimes declines/ Whether by chance or by nature's changing course untrimm'd/ But thy eternal summer shall not fade/ Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest/ And death shall not brag thou wandrest in his shade/ When in eternal lines to time thou growest/ So long as men can breathe or eyes can see/ So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.''

"I could've just done it by memory…" Blaine began saying after the long silence that followed, but Kurt cut him off with a long kiss.

"It was beautiful. You know, that idea of reading to each other by the fireplace sounds even more alluring than before," Kurt said, and Blaine pulled him down on top of him.

* * *

A/N: Even though she doesn't care for fanfiction/Klaine, I want to thank my sister for reciting the poem to me (she has it memorized-long story).

I'm sorry this was so short, I wasn't really sure what to write. I think the next chapter will make up for it...although it is the last one. Yes, I decided to end this story with 21 chapters. It's a bittersweet ending.

I won't update, however, for a long time, because I'm going to Disney in Florida for a band trip for four days :) I have spring break right afterwards, so I have plenty of time to write!

Finally, I've started a new fanfic which I'll be posting at about the same time as when I post the last chapter. It's a bit more mature, more along the lines of "Go Your Own Way." If you're interested, it's a Cheerio!Klaine fic, and I'm *very* excited about it!


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update, and sorry that it's so short, but here it is: the last chapter. Very fluffy; enjoy!

* * *

Kurt got into his car and turned on the ignition, as well as the air conditioning: spring was quickly turning to summer in Ohio, and Kurt was having a major case of contradictory senioritis. He was itching for the school year to end, but that meant leaving Lima behind-most specifically, Blaine. Kurt smiled as he remembered the night before, when he and Blaine were studying together at the library for finals. They had another study date planned for that night. They were still going strong, seeing each other at least once a week and communicating via Book and text. Kurt could hardly believe how much he'd missed Blaine while he was away at Nationals, which New Directions had won.

Before pulling out of his driveway to get to school, Kurt looked through his backpack to make sure he had all of his things for the day. As he checked all of his binders and textbooks, he found something strangely familiar, something that didn't belong in there...

Kurt pulled out the Book, incredulous at his find. "How did this get in there," he muttered to himself as he absentmindedly stroked the cover. His fingers glided over its many pages, and was even more surprised to find that there was a little bookmark sticking out of the top. Filled with curiosity-and a lack of concern for the fact that he was jeopardizing his promptness for school-Kurt opened the Book to the bookmarked page.

He was welcomed by Blaine's loopy, neat handwriting he'd grown to recognize and admire. It was on the new page across from where they'd taken notes about _The Awakening_, one of the books on Kurt's final exam. There were only three small words at the top of the page.

Kurt's heart exploded as he read the words, and his brain turned to mush. His fingers outlined the eight letters that he knew had just changed his life. Kurt then pressed the Book to his chest, the page pressing against his t-shirt, as he wondered how in the world he'd get through the day, and what he'd do when he saw Blaine.

* * *

"Are you okay, Kurt? You've been distracted all day," Rachel queried a few hours later. They were standing in the choir room, helping to clean up. They'd just finished their last official rehearsal of the year, and Kurt's last rehearsal, ever. Kurt glanced up at the large Nationals trophy standing beside the piano, and then to Rachel, who was sitting on the piano bench, lightly pressing down on the keys. He was sitting on the floor nearby, organizing some sheet music.

"Yeah, it's just…everything hit me today. Everything's changing. You're going off to fulfill your dreams, everyone's going off to college…and I don't really know what's in store for me." It was true: Kurt had auditioned for NYADA alongside Rachel, but didn't get in. Although everyone had been supportive, Kurt still felt lost.

"Everything's going to work out, Kurt. You deserve good, all right?" Rachel sat herself down next to him and gently wrapped her arms around her friend. "Remember that you have Blaine as well." At the mention of his boyfriend's name, who had really conjured all of these feelings, Kurt sniffled a little, trying to prevent the tears swimming in his eyes from falling. "You'll be okay. Hey, if you think it's possible…you're welcome to move in with me in New York, just as we've always dreamed." She sent Kurt a warm smile. He returned it, feeling a little better.

"Thanks, Rachel. Speaking of, I need to go meet Blaine at the library." Butterflies took flight in his stomach as he recalled the text he'd sent at lunch, asking that they meet a little earlier than usual; Blaine had agreed without asking why.

"Ooooohh, library date? Tell me the details!"

"Maybe," Kurt said slyly, and stood up, gathering his things. "You have no idea," he muttered under his breath as he left the classroom, getting out his keys.

As he left the classroom, he was called over by a familiar voice. Karfosky was standing next to the water fountain with an unreadable expression on his face. Reluctantly, Kurt walked over, becoming very conscious of the fact that his scar was out in the open due to the fact that he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt.

"What do you want, Karfosky? You've been avoiding me since the incident." Kurt began as he stood in front of him, hoping that the confrontation would end soon.

"I just wanted to say that...that I'm sorry." He looked down after he said it, avoiding Kurt's eyes.

"It took you_ that_ long to say that? Well, I must apologize as well, because I can't accept your apology. You made my life living hell for the longest time. Now, I am so much happier, because I have everything I want and need in my life, especially because you're not in it." Kurt spat angrily, and looked up to see that Karfosky was on the verge of tears. "Look, I-I know I'm being harsh, but it's very hard to be nice to someone who's threatened me. I get that you have a lot of pressure on you and everything; you're just making it worse because you're in the closet." It was true: Karfosky still hadn't come out, and Kurt somewhat pitied him for it. "I've been there. It's only easier if you're truthful. You're lucky that I'm giving you this advice, even though it's obvious. Well, have a nice life, Karfosky." He left the boy standing there. Kurt knew that he'd been rather harsh with Karfosky, but he still could not forgive him for the difficulties that he'd endured because of his bullying. In fact, he felt a little better after giving Karfosky a piece of his own mind.

* * *

Kurt could close his eyes and navigate his way to the library at this point. He parked his car next to Blaine's and opened the door, practically skipping towards the building. He didn't feel nervous anymore, even though he wasn't sure how he'd react when he saw Blaine in their secluded room. He rushed up the stairs, skipping a few steps at a time. It felt just like old times as he let his feet lead him through the doors and towards the room where he knew Blaine was waiting for him. Excitement bubbled in his chest as he neared the room and threw the door open, finding Blaine sitting at a table with his nose in a rather thick book.

"I love you too," he nearly shouted, flinging himself at the boy and nearly causing him to fall off of his chair. They hugged for the longest time, until Blaine broke them apart so he could look into Kurt's blazing eyes.

"When did you read it?" he asked softly, grabbing the Book, which Kurt had tossed onto the table. He opened to the page he'd bookmarked, reading the words he wrote the night before, and the same phrase repeated underneath in Kurt's neat handwriting.

"This morning, before I went to school, although I wish I hadn't seen it then because you were all I could think about," Kurt babbled as he took the empty chair next to Blaine.

"So…I'm guessing that you're okay with the way I did it?" Blaine inquired, searching Kurt's flushed face.

"Of course. I couldn't think of any other way that's as perfect as admitting such a thing through the way that we met," Kurt replied, placing his hands in Blaine's. "Although I still haven't heard you say the words yet," he teased.

"Wow, how could I forget?" Blaine leaned over so his lips were just inches from Kurt's. "I love you," he whispered tenderly before closed the distance between them.

* * *

"Love is such an abstract thing, you know?" Kurt a while later as they stayed curled up next to each other. They hadn't even gotten any work done; they were perfectly content with laying against each other, listening to them breathe. Blaine absentmindedly played with a few strands of Kurt's hair. "I thought I would live my whole life never really encountering it outside of my family, but here I am, next to you. I read about it so often in books, but it's so different in real life."

"I know. It's tangible now," Blaine moved his hand down so it was cupping Kurt's cheek. "I can touch you. I don't have to imagine what you look like. Here you are, right beside me, not a combination of letters on paper."

"Can you believe that we met that way? I had no idea what you looked like, and vice versa. It was…wow, eight months ago. It feels like I've known you all my life."

"I've been looking for you for my entire life—these past eight have been the only ones that mattered. Who knows I would've found you through, what was it, _The Scarlet Letter_?"

"Ew, I had such bad taste before I knew you."

"Obviously not, if that's how we met!"

"I love you. I'm sorry, I needed to say it again."

"I love you too. It's okay, I know I'm never going to get tired saying it and hearing it from you."

"Me neither. Although…" Kurt looked away, thinking about the unclear future.

"What is it?" Blaine lifted Kurt's chin up with his hand, genuinely concerned.

"What's going to happen to us? You know, since I'm not exactly in college, and you still have another year at Dalton…"

"Oh, Kurt, don't talk like that. You know that we'll always be together. You'll think of something to do while you chase your dreams. We'll think of something. Hey," he said, dropping his hand and lacing his fingers through Kurt's, "'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live,' right?"

"That's kind of hard when you're my 'teenage dream'," Kurt replied, and Blaine simply squeezed his hand.

"Cut it out, I was trying to sound smart for you. Don't ruin Dumbledore quotes!"

"Sorry, but not sorry, because you know it's the truth."

"You know what? We haven't done any studying today, and I highly doubt we will. Why don't we go out to Breadstix, my treat." Blaine suggested, suddenly getting up from his chair.

"Sounds like a good plan to me," Kurt consented. "Just let me do one thing before we leave," he said, and Blaine nodded. "All right, close your eyes," he instructed, and Blaine did as he was told. Kurt picked up the Book from the table and leafed through it, finding the page where they had confessed their love for each other. He took out a pen and scribbled something, something that meant absolutely everything to the two of them, and walked towards the rows of books. He found a special place for it, and set it on the shelf.

He strode back towards Blaine, who looked so serene that he could be sleeping. Kurt simply could not help himself: he approached the boy as quietly as possible and pressed his lips on Blaine's. Blaine did not jump at the contact; they stayed like that for a couple of seconds, and Kurt broke away from him. Blaine's eyes fluttered open.

"I guess that's my cue to open my eyes?" He asked coyly, and Kurt grabbed his hand, leading him out of the room. "Hey, where'd you put the Book?"

"Somewhere. You have to look for it," he said playfully, "it shouldn't be too hard. But—whoops—don't look for it now. Later."

"Do you think it's possible to be more in love with someone than I am in with you?" Blaine's words sent a thrill down Kurt's spine. _How did I get so lucky_, Kurt wondered, _to be loved by and be in love with such an incredible man._

They left the library, hand in hand, and entered the warm summer evening, heading off to write the rest of their lives together.

* * *

_I found it. How are you even real, Kurt._

**I don't know, maybe I'm just a figment of your imagination.**

_"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" _

**Touché. Well, I guess we'll find out when I see you tomorrow. Until next time, then?**

_Not next time. Forever._

* * *

A/N: Wow. I just...wow. It's over. I may or may not have shed a few tears...maybe because I'm listening to Come What May (I listened to it on repeat while writing this chapter; maybe it showed a bit).

Also, whatever Kurt wrote in the Book is up for you to decide-my lips are sealed!

This has been such an amazing experience. First, I want to get some thank yous out of the way to people who have helped me in particular:

themuse19

That Girl in Red

Snowlivvys

...And everyone who has been so incredibly supportive. I couldn't ask for a nicer audience. Seriously, you all have really boosted my confidence as an author. This story really has been the deciding factor in my choice to pursue a career in writing.

So, let me know your thoughts on the ending, and in the meantime, I suggest that you read my new fic that I recently, "Uncharted", which is a Cheerio!Klaine fic (and rated M for rather mature themes).

I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!


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